Mixing Jack, especially Gentleman Jack, with anything except maybe ice is bad enough. But with Diet anything? [Serenity Now!] That's extreme anti-social behaviour. Your penance is straight shots of Jack til you see the error of your ways and you're back on the straight and narrow! Barkeep, see that this man is properly supplied with the necessary quantity of Old No. 7 Brand!
Or removing varnish. It's not something you'd want to drink straight up.
All the world’s a stage, but obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.