Today, I Am An OF

[W3WN]

Well, it's now official. I'm an Old Fart.

Yeah, I know. You guys don't have to say it.

The reason it's official... I've been avoiding this for years, 10 or so, since I started getting the mailings shortly before I turned 50, But the Boss has been getting on my case about joining, and she keeps telling me that we're Missing Out On All This Great Stuff, or so she is told by friends, family, and co-workers.

So I finally gave in a few weeks ago, and sent the check. With the clear understanding that if it turned out to not be worth it, we wouldn't renew. Though my sneaking hunch is that she'll insist on renewing.

And in today's (OK, Friday PM) mail... They arrived.

Our bright red AARP Official Membership cards.

I didn't used to feel old. Now I do.

[NA4BH]

LOL. Those cards made their way to my wife, it was like a vampire around garlic. Hello trash can.

Vanity is so vain.

[WØTKX]

I have issues with the AARP. They are for the AARP, not the persons.

Where the hell are they when Social Security gets attacked? :chin:

[KG4CGC]

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/bebop5/drinks/10387321_563009457136690_6096744168043882180_n_zps 78660504.jpg

[WZ7U]

Notice - if you start to fart dust, please extinguish all open flame and sources of spark ignition. You can imagine why.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NlE9ZRNe2Z4

[kb2vxa]

Don't worry, by that time he'll be wearing Depends to catch the dust and muffle the sound making it a vaporous sneak attack. Something I probably shouldn't tell you, just a thought I never express verbally. Some older persons lose their voice and sound like parrots, "Ardley aark, AWK!" Since I started seeing a lot of AARP stuff in the mail it's become "Ardley AARP AWK!" (;->) Well, >I< think it's funny and I have a right to say it, I'm an old fart, old buzzard and a grumpy old bastid. SO THERE! I don't have a lawn so GET OFF MY SAND!

[X-Rated]

https://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/13/florida-man-dies-in-meth-lab-explosion-after-lighting-farts-on-fire/

[kb2vxa]

I'm surprised you didn't get that one from The Onion, they're pure stereotype FloriDUH trailer park trash!

On edit: Just for more giggles I read, or tried to read the kiddie speak comments and came up with this:
February 18, 2016
The Valley Report is a satirical website which posts fictional news articles related to real and fictitious events.[1] Snopes.com describes it as a fake news site, citing “While the Valley Report‘s “About” page bears no disclaimer, it credits a comedian (not a reporter) as responsible for the site’s content.”[2]- Wikipedia

As a just as stupid sidebar, here in "The Beach" it's another typical Benny weekend. For those who haven't read my rants, that's what we call weekend warrior "tourists" that come "down the shore" from the NY/NJ Metro area and cause trouble. Snookie and the thankfully cancelled MTV Jersey Shore crowd are Bennies. They're not the brightest bulbs in the string, just like those two in the article. We're having a storm, one was struck by lightning on the boardwalk, another in a parking lot. Mother Nature has just proven that they're too stupid to come in out of the rain!

[WØTKX]

http://www.snopes.com/meth-lab-explosion-gas/

Yawn. Rumor has it, reality has a liberal bias. This is the Island, mon. Check yer sources. :naughty:

[X-Rated]

I checked my sources and they were hilarious. LOL

[WØTKX]

Ayup. Check Yerself.

http://www.thewrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/bloom-county-opus.jpg

[X-Rated]

Hilarious again.

[n2ize]

Notice - if you start to fart dust, please extinguish all open flame and sources of spark ignition. You can imagine why.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NlE9ZRNe2Z4
Reminds me of an experiment I did a longtime ago. I took a large coffee can and punched a hole in one side just big enough to fit a drinking straw. Then I placed a small birthday candle at the very bottom of the can. Then, using a piece of sheet metal I fixed a platform in the can so the top of the platform was level with the straw. I then placed a teaspoon of dry, finely divided wheat flour on the top of the platform. Then I lit the candle and put the lid on the can. Then quickly I blew into the straw causing the flour to disperse throughout the can.At that instant KABOOM !...the lid blows off the can and hits the ceiling along with a quick flash of fire. This was to simulate a grain silo explosion. You'd think I put gunpowder inside the can the way the top blew off from the explosion.But it was just common baking flour demonstrating how explosive a mixture of grain dust dispersed in air can be.

[WZ7U]

Last major employer had us see demonstrations like that due to having two massive grain silos onsite along with grain milling equipment. This next clip was one of my favorites, since we were told specifically not to do this....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz95_VvTxZM

Something about remembering the vent valves

[w2amr]

Well, it's now official. I'm an Old Fart.

Yeah, I know. You guys don't have to say it.

The reason it's official... I've been avoiding this for years, 10 or so, since I started getting the mailings shortly before I turned 50, But the Boss has been getting on my case about joining, and she keeps telling me that we're Missing Out On All This Great Stuff, or so she is told by friends, family, and co-workers.

So I finally gave in a few weeks ago, and sent the check. With the clear understanding that if it turned out to not be worth it, we wouldn't renew. Though my sneaking hunch is that she'll insist on renewing.

And in today's (OK, Friday PM) mail... They arrived.

Our bright red AARP Official Membership cards.

I didn't used to feel old. Now I do. Now you can show them your card, then chase them off your lawn .

[N2CHX]

Happy birthday a few days late.

[W3WN]

Happy birthday a few days late.Ah, this had nothing to do with my birthday. (Which I don't celebrate anymore, haven't for many years. Trust me on this... NEVER get married on your birthday. After the divorce, the day becomes a painful reminder of past mistakes)

Suffice to say that you're more than a few days late on that, but thanks for the thought anyway.

[WZ7U]

It is the thought that counts, right?

[W3WN]

It is the thought that counts, right?
I know. Wasn't trying to be snarky, it's just that it's a painful reminder.

[WZ7U]

I bet. Good advice though.

I like her "art work", a lot. Says it all. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way.

Go have an enjoyable OF day. Stay away from the open flames now, ya hear?

[N2CHX]

Ah, this had nothing to do with my birthday. (Which I don't celebrate anymore, haven't for many years. Trust me on this... NEVER get married on your birthday. After the divorce, the day becomes a painful reminder of past mistakes)

Suffice to say that you're more than a few days late on that, but thanks for the thought anyway.

Ahh, I thought the AARP thing started because you reached a milestone. Well, don't feel bad. I'm younger than you and I get mail and email from AARP all the time and have for about two years now.

[N2CHX]

Oh yeah and what the shit? You got divorced?

[W3WN]

Ahh, I thought the AARP thing started because you reached a milestone. Well, don't feel bad. I'm younger than you and I get mail and email from AARP all the time and have for about two years now.
Yeah, that's what I figured you figured. No worries.

Oh yeah and what the shit? You got divorced?From the first one. Yes.

The Boss just doesn't get that I really would prefer to ignore that day, and if it means "no presents" so be it. At least the semi-obligatory family gathering is usually on the weekend before, so it's not (inadvertently) rubbing salt into the wound, so to speak.

Eh. Fuggedaboudit. No harm, no foul.

[N2CHX]

Yeah, that's what I figured you figured. No worries.
From the first one. Yes.

The Boss just doesn't get that I really would prefer to ignore that day, and if it means "no presents" so be it. At least the semi-obligatory family gathering is usually on the weekend before, so it's not (inadvertently) rubbing salt into the wound, so to speak.

Eh. Fuggedaboudit. No harm, no foul.

Ah, OK. Good. I'm glad you didn't divorce the Boss. I always enjoy reading your posts about her and LMFD. You always seemed happy. I get not wanting to think about a day like that though. I pretty much stopped celebrating my BD as well, but only because I am getting to the point where I don't want to think about getting older any longer. It didn't bother me really, until the last year or so. Being 45 going on 25 just sucks.

[W3WN]

Ah, OK. Good. I'm glad you didn't divorce the Boss. I always enjoy reading your posts about her and LMFD. You always seemed happy. I get not wanting to think about a day like that though. I pretty much stopped celebrating my BD as well, but only because I am getting to the point where I don't want to think about getting older any longer. It didn't bother me really, until the last year or so. Being 45 going on 25 just sucks.
I really don't want to think about next year. Suffice to say, being a signal report is bad enough.

Speaking of LMFD... https://forums.hamisland.net/showthread.php/29818-How-Cool-Is-This

[N2CHX]

I really don't want to think about next year. Suffice to say, being a signal report is bad enough.

Bahahahaha! That one took me a few seconds. Nice.


Speaking of LMFD... https://forums.hamisland.net/showthread.php/29818-How-Cool-Is-This

That's awesome! She's adorable BTW. My oldest of the younger trio starts college this fall. First year here in Buffalo, but next year he is aiming for NYC. He got accepted to the NY Film Academy but got put on a waiting list because he applied too late.

[koØm]

Well, it's now official. I'm an Old Fart.

<snip>

<snip>
I didn't used to feel old. Now I do.

You know that you are old when, you go to the Barbershop, sit down in the chair for a "Haircut" and without permission, the Barber trims your eyebrows and cuts the hair growing out of your earlobes.

The only good thing about it is, "Senior Haircuts" are discounted $5.00

.

[W3WN]

You know that you are old when, you go to the Barbershop, sit down in the chair for a "Haircut" and without permission, the Barber trims your eyebrows and cuts the hair growing out of your earlobes.

The only good thing about it is, "Senior Haircuts" are discounted $5.00

.Good thing then that I don't go to a barbershop.

[K7SGJ]

In the mornings I wake up, take a leak, and then get out of bed. The first time that happened, I realized I was getting a little long in the tooth.

[W3WN]

In the mornings I wake up, take a leak, and then get out of bed. The first time that happened, I realized I was getting a little long in the tooth.
TMI!

[XE1/N5AL]

Here, we can apply for an INAPAM card at age 60 (I'm 2.5 years away). It's similar in concept to the AARP card, except that it is a gov't run program and doesn't cost anything. The discounts apply to things like restaurants, movie theaters, transportation, services and municipal utilities (i.e., 50% off your water bill).

[K7SGJ]

Here, we can apply for an INAPAM card at age 60 (I'm 2.5 years away). It's similar in concept to the AARP card, except that it is a gov't run program and doesn't cost anything. The discounts apply to things like restaurants, movie theaters, transportation, services and municipal utilities (i.e., 50% off your water bill).

That's a pretty sweet deal. Is there a cost to join or an annual renewal fee?

[XE1/N5AL]

No, it doesn't cost anything. It's a free gov't service for citizens and residents.

[K4PIH]

You're all Punks! Whippersnapper's, and my favorite ... Slackers!

[KG4CGC]

You're all Punks! Whippersnapper's, and my favorite ... Slackers!

Lose your job at the buggy whip factory?

[W3WN]

You're all Punks! Whippersnapper's, and my favorite ... Slackers!
Step. Away. From the Television.

You've been watching the Back To The Future Trilogy marathon for too long! You yellow pie slinger!