Today, I Am An OF

[W3WN]

Well, it's now official. I'm an Old Fart.

Yeah, I know. You guys don't have to say it.

The reason it's official... I've been avoiding this for years, 10 or so, since I started getting the mailings shortly before I turned 50, But the Boss has been getting on my case about joining, and she keeps telling me that we're Missing Out On All This Great Stuff, or so she is told by friends, family, and co-workers.

So I finally gave in a few weeks ago, and sent the check. With the clear understanding that if it turned out to not be worth it, we wouldn't renew. Though my sneaking hunch is that she'll insist on renewing.

And in today's (OK, Friday PM) mail... They arrived.

Our bright red AARP Official Membership cards.

I didn't used to feel old. Now I do.

[NA4BH]

LOL. Those cards made their way to my wife, it was like a vampire around garlic. Hello trash can.

Vanity is so vain.

[WØTKX]

I have issues with the AARP. They are for the AARP, not the persons.

Where the hell are they when Social Security gets attacked? :chin:

[KG4CGC]

[WZ7U]

Notice - if you start to fart dust, please extinguish all open flame and sources of spark ignition. You can imagine why.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NlE9ZRNe2Z4

[kb2vxa]

Don't worry, by that time he'll be wearing Depends to catch the dust and muffle the sound making it a vaporous sneak attack. Something I probably shouldn't tell you, just a thought I never express verbally. Some older persons lose their voice and sound like parrots, "Ardley aark, AWK!" Since I started seeing a lot of AARP stuff in the mail it's become "Ardley AARP AWK!" (;->) Well, >I< think it's funny and I have a right to say it, I'm an old fart, old buzzard and a grumpy old bastid. SO THERE! I don't have a lawn so GET OFF MY SAND!

[X-Rated]

https://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/...farts-on-fire/

[kb2vxa]

I'm surprised you didn't get that one from The Onion, they're pure stereotype FloriDUH trailer park trash!

On edit: Just for more giggles I read, or tried to read the kiddie speak comments and came up with this:
February 18, 2016
The Valley Report is a satirical website which posts fictional news articles related to real and fictitious events.[1] Snopes.com describes it as a fake news site, citing “While the Valley Report‘s “About” page bears no disclaimer, it credits a comedian (not a reporter) as responsible for the site’s content.”[2]- Wikipedia

As a just as stupid sidebar, here in "The Beach" it's another typical Benny weekend. For those who haven't read my rants, that's what we call weekend warrior "tourists" that come "down the shore" from the NY/NJ Metro area and cause trouble. Snookie and the thankfully cancelled MTV Jersey Shore crowd are Bennies. They're not the brightest bulbs in the string, just like those two in the article. We're having a storm, one was struck by lightning on the boardwalk, another in a parking lot. Mother Nature has just proven that they're too stupid to come in out of the rain!

[WØTKX]

http://www.snopes.com/meth-lab-explosion-gas/

Yawn. Rumor has it, reality has a liberal bias. This is the Island, mon. Check yer sources.

[X-Rated]

I checked my sources and they were hilarious. LOL