View Full Version : Things My Lawyer Sends Me
In Washington , D.C. an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see President Obama and Speaker Pelosi before I die," whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father," replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The President and Congress and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; President Obama and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Pelosi, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN." Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Obama's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left hand. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally President Obama spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen," said Obama.
"Amen," said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
PA5COR
08-30-2010, 09:18 AM
Get another lawyer ( more intelligent)
Get another lawyer ( more intelligent)
Are you kidding? A lawyer who is a communications expert, experienced contester, and was the DX for a good many years? You can find those about as often as the Administration actually admits to a mistake.
KG4CGC
08-30-2010, 02:00 PM
lame
W1GUH
08-30-2010, 02:12 PM
He ever send you lawyer jokes?
N2CHX
08-30-2010, 02:13 PM
What's brown and black and looks great on a lawyer?
KG4CGC
08-30-2010, 02:31 PM
What's brown and black and looks great on a lawyer?
My boot after I stepped in shit and threw it at said lawyer?
N2CHX
08-30-2010, 02:48 PM
My boot after I stepped in shit and threw it at said lawyer?
A Doberman, but the boot works too.
Obviously a Republican. :lame:
kb2crk
08-30-2010, 06:34 PM
Obviously a Republican. :lame:
now if the same joke were told with bush and cheney's names used everyone probably would have thought it was funny.
it could be used with any politician and still be fitting.
now if the same joke were told with bush and cheney's names used everyone probably would have thought it was funny.
it could be used with any politician and still be fitting.
The bias is obviously Republican. It would have been more balanced (and still not very funny) if the joke used Bill Clinton and George Bush.
Lame joke is still lame. :lame:
ad4mg
08-30-2010, 08:04 PM
now if the same joke were told with bush and cheney's names used everyone probably would have thought it was funny.
it could be used with any politician and still be fitting.
I replayed it as you suggested, and it still sucked. If you're vying to be a mind reader, keep your day job.
kb2crk
08-30-2010, 09:08 PM
i do believe i said it was fitting. i did not say i found it funny.
KC2UGV
08-30-2010, 09:18 PM
Ok, I thought that was funny as hell.
But, then again, I don't hold politicians or lawyers in very high regard.
W4RLR
08-31-2010, 03:09 AM
What's brown and black and looks great on a lawyer? I know that one! A Doberman! Too bad you gave it away too early!
Actually, my mouthpiece is a pretty good guy who collects cigar boxes. He shares his collection with his clients. So I have a few fine (but empty) cigar boxes.
W1GUH
08-31-2010, 08:12 AM
I know that one! A Doberman! Too bad you gave it away too early!
Actually, my mouthpiece is a pretty good guy who collects cigar boxes. He shares his collection with his clients. So I have a few fine (but empty) cigar boxes.
Cigar boxes make great (and vintage) project boxes!!
OK...back to the jokes!
KG4CGC
08-31-2010, 04:45 PM
I know that one! A Doberman! Too bad you gave it away too early!
Actually, my mouthpiece is a pretty good guy who collects cigar boxes. He shares his collection with his clients. So I have a few fine (but empty) cigar boxes.
How 'bout that! I SELL cigar boxes!
KA9MOT
09-01-2010, 03:54 PM
I liked it!
I am not a Democrat, nor am I a Republican. I ride somewhere in the middle. I am an American.
I also believe the old priests description of those two was spot on. Both are self centered crooks. Kick 'em all out of office and start out with the same Constitution, but new players with no Political Affiliations.
I do not want to make any enemies here cuz I love ya' all, but I think it is very foolish to pattern your political beliefs based on party bullshit. You know who you are.
KG4CGC
09-01-2010, 05:46 PM
Do you really love me or are you just saying that?
I've been lied to before.
Do you really love me or are you just saying that?
I've been lied to before.
Don't you believe him! He's just trying to get you into the sack. I know his type.
KC2UGV
09-01-2010, 08:51 PM
Do you really love me or are you just saying that?
I've been lied to before.
Sure he does, until he throws a towel at you and says,"Clean yourself up, then get out." :lol:
KA9MOT
09-01-2010, 09:04 PM
Do you really love me or are you just saying that?
I've been lied to before.
Even you! :)
KA9MOT
09-01-2010, 09:11 PM
Don't you believe him! He's just trying to get you into the sack. I know his type.
Sure he does, until he throws a towel at you and says,"Clean yourself up, then get out." :lol:
Hey! You guys have been there before eh? LOL :)
w6tmi
09-02-2010, 11:51 PM
I'd give odds had this joke used Bush/Cheney there would not have been 1 "lame" comment.
Just saying.. Your bias is showin!
KG4CGC
09-02-2010, 11:58 PM
I'd give odds had this joke used Bush/Cheney there would not have been 1 "lame" comment.
Just saying.. Your bias is showin!In Washington , D.C. an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see President Bush and Vice President Cheney before I die," whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father," replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The President at the White House and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; President Bush and Dick Cheney would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Bush commented to Cheney, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN." Cheney agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Bush's hand in his right hand and Cheney's hand in his left hand. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally President Bush spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen," said Bush.
"Amen," said Cheney.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
lame
He ever send you lawyer jokes?
All the time. In fact, Mike collects them.
I'd give odds had this joke used Bush/Cheney there would not have been 1 "lame" comment.
Just saying.. Your bias is showin!
Wrong, LA boy. The "joke" was off base and stupid, under any scrutiny. Right wingers just have lower standards.
You going to vote for NutMeg and Carly?
w6tmi
09-04-2010, 12:24 AM
Wrong, LA boy. The "joke" was off base and stupid, under any scrutiny. Right wingers just have lower standards.
You going to vote for NutMeg and Carly?
I'd still lay odds... the comments wouldn't be there. :)
Ummm I dunno... Carley maybe. For lack of better and to make sure boxer's out. Nutmeg's lying and pandering and wants it too much much for my taste... But Crusty? blech....
Usual bunch of shitty no choices...
Bunch of gutless garbage republicans.
I suppose I'll throw my vote away on the libertarian in protest.
ad4mg
09-04-2010, 06:29 AM
Usual bunch of shitty no choices...
Bunch of gutless garbage republicans.
I suppose I'll throw my vote away on the libertarian in protest.
Hell, yeah! Do they allow you a write-in choice? I'd pick George Carlin. Even dead, he makes more sense that 95% of the politicians ...
Fiorina will likely do to Cali what she did to HP:
That is...buy Mexico and Oregon - and in doing so, further bankrupt the sh!t outta the state.
Then upon being recalled, she'll be presented with a nice golden parachute - replete with aspirations of a White House run.
Hell, yeah! Do they allow you a write-in choice? I'd pick George Carlin. Even dead, he makes more sense that 95% of the politicians ...
+1,000 :agree:
KC2UGV
09-04-2010, 06:13 PM
Fiorina will likely do to Cali what she did to HP:
That is...buy Mexico and Oregon - and in doing so, further bankrupt the sh!t outta the state.
Then upon being recalled, she'll be presented with a nice golden parachute - replete with aspirations of a White House run.
And then she'll brag about how she could have bought Delaware for much less than what NYS paid :lol:
What's the difference between a lawyer on a Harley, and a vacuum cleaner?
With the vacuum, the dirt bag is on the inside.
W1GUH
09-07-2010, 12:32 PM
I'd still lay odds... the comments wouldn't be there. :)
Ummm I dunno... Carley maybe. For lack of better and to make sure boxer's out. Nutmeg's lying and pandering and wants it too much much for my taste... But Crusty? blech....
Usual bunch of shitty no choices...
Bunch of gutless garbage republicans.
I suppose I'll throw my vote away on the libertarian in protest.
IMHO, a third party vote is the ONLY way not to waste your vote!
w6tmi
09-08-2010, 09:57 PM
Hell, yeah! Do they allow you a write-in choice? I'd pick George Carlin. Even dead, he makes more sense that 95% of the politicians ...
I know, right?
Actually my preferred write in candidate is Jello Biafra.
I do so miss GC though.
IMHO, a third party vote is the ONLY way not to waste your vote!
You are probably right.
W4RLR
09-09-2010, 08:54 PM
Do you really love me or are you just saying that?
I've been lied to before.
If you get a wet sloppy kiss you'll know for sure. At least that's how I know my dog loves me.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.