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Thread: It's That Time of Year

  1. #1
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    It's That Time of Year

    Fruitcake, Yulecaca, Plumcake, Stollen, Panettone and Blackcake, whatever you want to call it, it's that time of year.
    Now whether you love the stuff or hate it, I've always felt that its long and celebrated rich history has always gone back to one main purpose. Despite it's sweetness, especially for colonial times, I believe the number one purpose to have it during the Winter as harvest stocks dwindled was for fiber and the way it acted upon the bowels of the colonists.

    Imagine being stuck in a period of humanity's development when your very existence depended on the nutrition and proper functioning of your body based on what you could eat and had on hand. Many people died of dysentery or immovableness. As for the latter, cue the venerable Fruitcake!

    Issues of the bowel were a pretty serious matter of a solid nature and it was crucial to keep that nature balanced between solid and the polar opposite. As was often the case with regard to the matter of dysentery, personal hygiene (thinking about hands here) and the handling of consumables was not considered a top priority due to ignorance as well as the lack of clean water (depending on location). Whether you were a colonist living in a village or an explorer huddled down for a long Winter, the food you had on hand was prepared to be stored for a period of time and would often be salted and dried. A lot of time and effort was put into hunting meat for its protein but as we all know, meat alone can lead to toxic build up and it was not unusual for people to die of a rupture of the bowel or even suffer long bouts of gout.

    A good stock of prepared fruitcake was good for more than just keeping things moving along. It also helped one combat feeling cold during those long, bitter Winters by adding high octane fuel to the human furnace. This feeling of warmth was important not only for the warmth but for the comfort it gave and that comfort was good for the human spirit and helped one feel as though they were doing more than merely existing.
    OK, before we get too far gone into the existential nature of a good bowel movement, here is a link about Fruitcake.

    https://www.pbs.org/newshour/arts/th...fe-and-history

  2. #2
    Master Navigator HUGH's Avatar
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    I'm very partial to fruit cake as a quick snack, I think the effects are far more satisfactory than candy bars.

    In Britain it was customary for the more affluent Victorians of the 19th centuary to travel to various spa towns to "take the water". These spring waters when tried today are pretty vile to drink as they contain quite a quantity of sulphur products but, given a rather unhealthy diet, it was a popular way to "ease the bowels" so to speak. They were beneficial to the skin when bathing in them though.

    Another aspect was the loading of "India Pale Ale" on board sailing ships to be consumed when on long voyages to collect cargo especially from India. It was was regarded as a reward, being of high strength, and especially good for travelling when constipation was rife.

    My final anecdote is about "William the Conqueror" (also known as Guilliame la Batarde) in his declining years after invading Britain in 1066. He had a rich, luxurious life wih plenty of feasting, mostly meat and no vegetables such that he grew enormously fat and unhealthy with a huge belly and a swollen gut. He was out riding his horse one day and over some rough ground his belly dropped onto the pommel of his saddle (saddles for the fat and wealthy always had a pommel to hang on to) and ruptured. He was forced to end his days in the cellar of a monastery as the small of putridness was so bad only the monks would look after him and he died in obscurity. A fitting end to an evil tyrant who devastated Britain.

    Now it's time to see what's hiding in the kitchen, maybe a slice of cake?
    Last edited by HUGH; 11-08-2023 at 03:33 PM.

  3. #3
    Pope Carlo l NQ6U's Avatar
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    Properly sized fruitcakes are excellent for lining the walls of an outdoor privy.
    All the world’s a stage, but obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.

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