VHF Marine radio...

[n2ize]

"...but I'd really like a small boat with a motor, like that canoe.
I remember WA2V (SK) Jack's john boat with a 10hp motor, one of those things you'd mix cement in if it didn't have seats. We had so much fun lake fishing with it, more fun running a few minutes until the magneto got hot and quit, fish, run, fish, run... and then came the Van Heusen Man at Round Valley. We found a not so crowded spot to beach it and unload, last was the motor that didn't want to come loose. Since I was looking the other way I didn't notice the boat slid off the sand and drifted out into the lake, when the motor finally came loose I nearly fell over backward. To avoid landing on my back with the motor on top of me I staggered forward, right off and into the lake still holding the motor. I looked around, saw which way to go and walked up onto the beach motor in hand like the guy in the commercial, up the hill and dropped the motor in the back of the truck. Yep, everybody was watching and wondering, some looking around for the camera. Are they filming another Van Heusen commercial or are we on Candid Camera? I guess they figured it out when I swam out to retrieve the boat, just another drunken idiot.

"The Coast Guard always wins."
Not always, like any cops many times they lose. Cops have cars in the area so for them not as frequently, the USCG has a very different "plan of attack". With all the false distress calls and captains venting on the radio they're reluctant to respond to anything but a confirmed distress situation where coordinates are known. Most of the time Station Delaware Bay that controls the coast from Philadelphia to near Sandy Hook will broadcast a pan pan (pron. pon pon) the level between securitay and mayday giving the approximate location concluding with "Mariners transiting the area keep a sharp lookout and report all sightings..." If they have a boat in the water they'll take their time getting to kayaks or jet skis being a pain in the ass, but usually the situation is resolved before they get there, nobody around.

They do have a wicked sense of humor, one of the funniest things came over the radio after a successful SAR that started with something incredibly stupid that got them rather annoyed. The ground units stopped off at a local pizza joint but with nowhere to land the helicopter crew couldn't join them. "If you order another pizza I'll lower the Stokes basket to pick it up." That's when the radio erupted with laughter. Like I said before, during the summer Benny Season marine channels are fun listening when the Coast Guard goes fishing.

"Sometimes the weather does."
Not where the USCG is concerned, I've seen videos (they always shoot video) of their boats taking on heavy seas that would scare the shit out of Poseidon. Hi RRRAAALLLPH. What's up Chuck? <barf>

Yeah but California doesn't get hurricanes.

[K0RGR]

One of my brothers was in the Coast Guard, and spent most of his time on a cutter in the Aleutians. They got into some hairy stuff there with rescues. They also were shot at by fishing trawlers operating in U.S. seas that didn't belong there. The trawlers would open fire on the cutter, hoping the cutter would take evasive action, slowing them down so the trawler could escape over the line into International waters. It was mostly Japanese trawlers that did this, as I recall.