"The results admittedly come with wide ranges and uncertainties."

There you go, they admit their findings are bogus soooo...

You who have kitty cats
must have a code that you can live by
and so become yourself
because they won't tell you goodbye
Treat your kitties well
their cat haters hell
will slowly go by
and feed them tuna fish and kitty treats
the one they pick's
the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why
if they told you, you would cry
so just look at them and sigh
and know they love you.