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Thread: The Human lifespan

  1. #1
    Orca Whisperer PA5COR's Avatar
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    The Human lifespan

    On the first day, God created the dog and said,
    "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
    For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

    The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.
    How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

    And God saw it was good.

    On the second day, God created the monkey and said,
    "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

    The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
    That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

    And God, again saw it was good.

    On the third day, God created the cow and said,
    "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.
    For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

    The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.
    How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

    And God agreed it was good.

    On the fourth day, God created humans and said,
    "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.
    For this, I'll give you twenty years."

    But the human said, "Only twenty years?
    Could you possibly give me my twenty,
    the forty the cow gave back,
    the ten the monkey gave back
    and the ten the dog gave back;
    that makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

    So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

    For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.

    For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

    And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    Life has now been explained to you.









    If you are looking for me, I will be on the front porch.

    "If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop
    telling the truth about them." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
    “I’m not liberal/conservative, I’m anti-idiotarian.”
    At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution

  2. #2
    Whacker Knot WØTKX's Avatar
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    WOOF!
    "Where would we be without the agitators of the world to attach the electrodes
    of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?" ~ Professor "Dick" Soloman



  3. #3
    Conch Master W5GA's Avatar
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    Did somebody say play? Where's my ball!!
    When the government's boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right boot is of no consequence. — GARY LLOYD

    The nation we live in is the nation we have built by design, each successive generation raising the wall of tyranny a little higher. - Chris Griffin

  4. #4
    Pope Carlo l NQ6U's Avatar
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    Walkies now, yes? OH BOY, WALKIES!!
    All the world’s a stage, but obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.

  5. #5
    Orca Whisperer PA5COR's Avatar
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    GET OFF MY LAWN!!
    "If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop
    telling the truth about them." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
    “I’m not liberal/conservative, I’m anti-idiotarian.”
    At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution

  6. #6
    Orca Whisperer n2ize's Avatar
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    WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON OUR LAWN ?????????
    I keep my 2 feet on the ground, and my head in the twilight zone.

  7. #7
    Orca Whisperer N7YA's Avatar
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    Huh...no mention of pooping in your hand and throwing it. I thought that may figure into the last 10 years (or the first 20), and it also ties into the monkeys deal.
    The louder the monkey, the smaller its balls.

  8. #8
    'Grumpy old bastid' kb2vxa's Avatar
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    Must be talking politics here, barking, monkey tricks, flinging poo... and the reverse cow thing.
    "The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you."
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    73 de Warren KB2VXA
    Station powered by atomic energy, operator powered by natural gas.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by kb2vxa View Post
    Must be talking politics here, barking, monkey tricks, flinging poo... and the reverse cow thing.
    Reverse cowgirl?

    Yes please.
    Jim
    The machine does not isolate us from the great problems of nature but plunges us more deeply into them. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry



  10. #10
    Orca Whisperer N7YA's Avatar
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    But....its an actual cow! No thank you.
    The louder the monkey, the smaller its balls.

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