Communicating With Family Members

[n2ize]

Is it just me or has anyone noticed that it;s much harder to talk to family members than strangers. When i try to communicate with family members I find one or a combination of the following. Either too impatient to listen, do a very poor job of listening, don't listen at all, do not return communication or respond and/or don't offer any worthwhile response. Any combination of the above or all the above is the usual case.

I find it much easier to communicate with friends, acquaintances, aqnd even total strangers than with family members. I've noticed this phenomenon most of my life.

[WØTKX]

My mom is lost in Glenn Beck land, Dad mutters over the Rosary beads in response.

I can talk to one of my sisters. She's the weirdo artistic one.

[n2ize]

My mom is lost in Glenn Beck land, Dad mutters over the Rosary beads in response.

I can talk to one of my sisters. She's the weirdo artistic one.

Parents are a whole nother matter entirely. They may either listen or ignore.

[X-Rated]

My sister and I have not spoken to each other in over 6 years. She still lives in Kansas, so that helps.

My wife's father passed on in January. So the girls are all fighting over inheritance. That is fun.

My oldest son recently told me that there was a serious issue that he just told me about in his life 27 years ago when he was 3 that I have not yet addressed.

Freakin insane how impossible it is to talk to family sometimes.

Life goes on, or it doesn't.

[n2ize]

So, I guess I am not alone. Not that I thought I was. One of the biggest and most common complaints I hear from people is how difficult it is to reach family members.

[W3WN]

So, I guess I am not alone. Not that I thought I was. One of the biggest and most common complaints I hear from people is how difficult it is to reach family members.

My older sister essentially disowned me when I married the first time; bad enough I married a shiksa, but she was Southern Baptist. I was forgiven after the divorce... and then I went and married another shiksa, this time a Roman Catholic. Now, you'd think that (in her eyes) that would be a step up, but nooooooo... I'm once again beyond the pale.

She even lied to my mother & didn't invite us to her kid's weddings a couple of years ago. I found out later that the family kept asking about me & where we were, but got conflicting answers (except to imply that it was all my fault, of course)

Doesn't bother me too much for my own sake... I really don't care anymore (& I'm not entirely surprised, she pulled the same stunt on my cousin when HE got married over 30 years ago). But my daughter has never met her cousins (OK, once when she was 3, but she doesn't remember too much from that, obviously!), knows nothing of them, and wonders why she has a whole extended family on her mother's side, and basically bupkus on mine -- like it's her fault, though it's not.

THAT I won't forgive my sister for.

[X-Rated]

...
Doesn't bother me too much for my own sake... I really don't care anymore (& I'm not entirely surprised, she pulled the same stunt on my cousin when HE got married over 30 years ago). But my daughter has never met her cousins (OK, once when she was 3, but she doesn't remember too much from that, obviously!), knows nothing of them, and wonders why she has a whole extended family on her mother's side, and basically bupkus on mine -- like it's her fault, though it's not.

THAT I won't forgive my sister for.

Seriously Ron.

Everyone can say, "Don't let it bother you", and you can tell yourself that it doesn't, but it always does. I don't know what to say except to not let it bother you. And that doesn't help.

I think this is why talking to relatives is so difficult. We want our relationship to be as best friends and we have to walk on eggshells to make that happen if it happens at all. The other person has it in their mind that you are holding up the relationship because of who you married and you are thinking that they are holding up the relationship because of their personal decision.

With my sister, I hate her bitchiness. When I held some personal property for her for 6 years, she wanted it back. I didn't want it. So I sent it back to her. She didn't even open it when she called and bitched me out. the box was damaged. We packed everything so nothing would be damaged on the inside. To this day, I have no idea if anything was damaged on the inside. I doubt it ever was. It was a point of contention she could use against me to try to make me feel like crap. The usual agenda people come up with where they try to make an issue out of something that is only true in the apparent world and not in reality. I didn't ask her for anything. I didn't take something that wasn't hers. I didn't tell anyone in the family that she was crap for being this way as she did to me. She simply said that she did not want to be related to me after this expecting for me to grovel, and I did not. To be honest, I was hoping to not have anything to do with her anyway. I felt like I hit the casino jackpot when she said she didn't want to have anything to do with me after I did not fail her in a favor she asked of me which spanned years.

Since then, she has missed out on my grandkids (ages 5 and 3). She has not met my son's wife. She has not been filled in on anything. I could not care less bout what she has done or not done. People who hate me for who I am or for favors I have done for them.

Our parents are dead now. Mom died in 1996 and Dad died in 2003. On my Dad's side of the family, his sisters are all dead now as well. His oldest sister was born in 1907 and his next sister was born in 1909 and he was born in 1912 and his baby sister was born in 1915. They died in the opposite order. But everyone is so old on that side of the family, they never bonded with me much. I talked to one of my cousins a few weeks ago and she could hardly remember the last time we met. She and her husband know their days are numbered. The family on my mom's side I speak with once in a while. They are very judgmental.

I just do what I can and go on.

[PA5COR]

Parents dead, i was left to do the job burrying them, told my brother to piss off for the rest of my life and die somewhere faast without i need to know about it and the rest of my side of the family was told to get out of my life and also never to contact me again.

Wife's family is a totally different story though.

[kf0rt]

Parents dead, i was left to do the job burrying them, told my brother to piss off for the rest of my life and die somewhere faast without i need to know about it and the rest of my side of the family was told to get out of my life and also never to contact me again.

Wife's family is a totally different story though.

Jeeesus, Cor. Bet there's a story there.

You guys are starting to make me feel okay. Thanks!

[WØTKX]

Yea, you just have to live with yours.