I gave away my Dell Laptop today.....

[KA9MOT]

My son goes to school with a young lady (aged 13) who has not been getting her work in on time because she had no computer and I decided to give her that Dell I was trying to sell. I sent Stevie to school with a note for her mom that detailed what I wanted to do but I needed her permission to do it.

Mom called me, and we set up a time after school to give the kid the computer. I expected Mom and her daughter to show up. Instead, Mom and 6 kids aging from 13 years to an infant showed up. She had no control, I had little monsters running all over the house while she explained to us that she was a single mom with no job who lived in housing and received welfare and food stamps. Mellisa asked about the children's father and it turns out most of these kids have different daddies, and she is very proud that she is raising them as a single parent. No Job, No car and she pays $89 a month for a 3 bedroom apartment. But her future is improving. She very excitedly told my wife that the 3rd or 4th kid's dad asked her to marry him and he has promised to get a good job and support the family (get this) as soon as they release him from the county jail. I almost fell out of my chair trying not to laugh. She did not say why he is in jail.


The whole time she was here, she neglected her children, got angry when I spoke sharply to a 3 year old who was pulling the ears and tail off my cat and was constantly texting on her Galaxy S smartphone.... yes, I asked... I always ask about the phones cuzz I'm nosy.

The girl who got the computer was very soft spoken and well behaved. I'm glad I gave her the computer, but I am deeply disturbed about her family life. I feel Mom's irresponsibility is a form of child abuse and I seriously wonder about the futures of these children.

I just wanted to talk about it. Thanks for allowing me to vent here.

[n2ize]

Unfortunately this is a condition that exists. The Mom, like so many in her situation, no job, trying to raise more than one kid with more than one father, one guy in jail who she thinks is going to come back to her when he gets out, etc. You can;t entirely blame the Mom, she's in a rut and probably doesn't even know how to go about getting out of it. And she would probably look at constructive criticism more as an attack against her than a attempt to tryto reinforce change and a way of getting out of the rut she's in. I've been in a few ruts myself and I know how hard it can be to motivate yourself to climb out of a rut. You just feel like you are at the bottom of a deep pit and the entire weight of the world is coming down on you. Sometimes it feels like change is impossible.

Far as the 13 year old not getting her work done, I really doubt its because she had no computer. Lots of young kids these days still have no computer yet they still manage to get their work done. Usually the school will have some computers available and there is also the public library. besides, what happened to good ol' fashioned pencil, paper, and books ? Even nowaday's they still do work.The computer may help her somewhat but I wonder if it has more to do with her home life not being conducive to study and homework.

In any event I hope the child makes out okay. And I hope the Mom gets her life in order.

[N8YX]

This is why we can't have nice things, and is a prime indicator of why the generational welfare system needs to be stopped in its tracks.

Good for you for helping the girl out, Steve...but the mother and father(s) involved all need a serious ass-kicking. If they refuse to work...there's always the ObamaCamps.

[WØTKX]

Steve, see if there is a Big Sister group that can help her out. Or 4H, or something. Learning about the outside world in an optimistic way would help to show that it gets better. Especially for kids who get it, learning and thriving even with a rough start. Even without a lot of $$$, kids have the energy to do well. If they get the right encouragement.

Not all families can do that, and it has nothing to do with the "structure" of the family.

[KC2UGV]

Without trying to get into the politics of this situation: Our welfare system has a stupid rule the hinders pulling oneself out of this sort of situation. You are not allowed to have a savings account, or else they cut you off.

I found out about this from a friend in this situation. I suggested that while she is staying with us (As well as her daughters), she open a savings account, and drive every last dollar into it that she can.

Then she told me: Then I'd lose the health insurance, due to my assets.

That hurt. What I did, is let her deposit with "First National Bank of Corey", and I'll split the interest earned with her when she makes the withdrawal. Yes, I'm taking the tax hit, but she's trying, and the first step to financial security is an emergency savings. Hard to dig out of debt when you rack up new debt with surprise expenses.

[KB3LAZ]

Yes, the system is backwards. It as you said hinders people from getting out of the rut and encourages them to stay on the system, so to speak. Once people do get a job their money is held against them in many housing developments and their rent will skyrocket all at once rather than slowing increasing. Again, as you said, people can not save up to get out either as their funds are held against them.

At this point people ask themselves if they should stay on the system, have a roof over their head and food to eat or should they get a job and live in their car if they have one.

Again, I have always thought the system was fucked up. And yes, I do think there are many people that do take advantage of it but in the end it is the people that really need the help that get screwed over.

[W3WN]

Steve, full credit & kudos for you for trying to do the right thing.

Sad to say, 3 will get you 2 that the laptop is gone or destroyed within a week. I've seen things like that happen before.

[WØTKX]

This is why those "cash loaded" charge cards are so popular. And the poor that need to use them? Yea, they pay a fee.

Poor people pay more in a lot of cases. But, it's OK, it's their fault. Rental furniture and TV's, anyone?

[KB3LAZ]

This is why those "cash loaded" charge cards are so popular. And the poor that need to use them? Yea, they pay a fee.

Poor people pay more in a lot of cases. But, it's OK, it's their fault. Rental furniture and TV's, anyone?

Fuck those pre-paid cards. It cost to put money on them, not everywhere takes them, they take money off of you by the month..Yes, I know, if you dont have any other option..

Though, I do have to give some of those rental places credit. My brother who is working his way out of a whole uses Arrons. Yes, they are expensive long term but they have worked with my brother in ways that I would have never expected. Removing entire months payments so that he could catch up, lowering the bill, changing the term, etc. (Not the point and I know that but it just popped into my head.)

[kb2crk]

Steve
Kudos to you for doing something nice.
As for the welfare system, it is screwed up. It is set up to keep one on the roles and if you try to better yourself you find yourself screwed.
If you do manage to get off of it you have to watch your back as an investigation may follow and then they decide you got too much while you were on it and you have to pay a good deal back.
I know this first hand.