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  1. #1
    La Rata Del Desierto K7SGJ's Avatar
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    Jokes Yuks Laughs Ha ha and Jocularity Thread

    Seems that from time to time a joke or two gets posted. How about a thread devoted to same, like the random thought, what are you listening to forum, etc. All in favor say STFU.


    It's Hell to be Old

    OLD people have problems that you haven't
    even considered yet!

    An 85-year-old man was requested by his
    Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
    exam.

    The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
    this jar home and bring back a semen sample
    tomorrow.'

    The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared
    at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
    which was as clean and empty as on the
    previous day.

    The doctor asked what happened and the man
    explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried
    with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
    with my left hand, but still nothing.

    'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
    her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
    She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
    then with her teeth out, still nothing.

    'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door
    and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
    armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
    her knees, but still nothing..'

    The doctor was shocked!


    'You asked your neighbour?'

    The old man replied,

    'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'












    A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory

    RIP ALBI-W3MIV RIP RUSS-W5RB RIP BOB-VK3ZL





  2. #2
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    *spit take*
    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

  3. #3
    Orca Whisperer kf0rt's Avatar
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    :rofl: :rofl:

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    Pope Carlo l K6BSO's Avatar
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    After many years of successful practice, a gynecologist decided to take an early retirement in order to pursue his hobby of auto mechanics full-time. He enrolled in the BMW mechanics training course and when he finished his final exam, he was pleased but a little baffled by his score of 150%. He asked his teacher to explain it.

    "Well," said the teacher "you not only took apart and reassembled that engine perfectly, I felt I had to give you some extra credit. That was the first time I'd ever seen anyone do it through the muffler."

    (My XYL told me that joke, BTW)
    My Dearest Karma
    I have a very long list
    Of people youve missed.

  5. #5
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KJ6BSO View Post
    After many years of successful practice, a gynecologist decided to take an early retirement in order to pursue his hobby of auto mechanics full-time. He enrolled in the BMW mechanics training course and when he finished his final exam, he was pleased but a little baffled by his score of 150%. He asked his teacher to explain it.

    "Well," said the teacher "you not only took apart and reassembled that engine perfectly, I felt I had to give you some extra credit. That was the first time I'd ever seen anyone do it through the muffler."

    (My XYL told me that joke, BTW)
    Oh Shit! Of Shit! ILOLIRL!
    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

  6. #6
    Beach Bum
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    Quote Originally Posted by KJ6BSO View Post
    After many years of successful practice, a gynecologist decided to take an early retirement in order to pursue his hobby of auto mechanics full-time. He enrolled in the BMW mechanics training course and when he finished his final exam, he was pleased but a little baffled by his score of 150%. He asked his teacher to explain it.

    "Well," said the teacher "you not only took apart and reassembled that engine perfectly, I felt I had to give you some extra credit. That was the first time I'd ever seen anyone do it through the muffler."

    (My XYL told me that joke, BTW)
    *dies laughing*

  7. #7
    Coconut King n0iu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KJ6BSO View Post
    After many years of successful practice, a gynecologist decided to take an early retirement in order to pursue his hobby of auto mechanics full-time. He enrolled in the BMW mechanics training course and when he finished his final exam, he was pleased but a little baffled by his score of 150%. He asked his teacher to explain it.

    "Well," said the teacher "you not only took apart and reassembled that engine perfectly, I felt I had to give you some extra credit. That was the first time I'd ever seen anyone do it through the muffler."

    (My XYL told me that joke, BTW)
    Reminds me of the cardiologist who took his Harley to the shop because it was running rough. He comes back a couple of days later and asks the mechanic what was wrong. So he says that one of the valves was sticking so he had to replace it and the fuel line was clogged so he also had to replace that as well.

    Then the mechanic says, "Hey doc, this is sort of like what you do, so how come I only make $40,000 a year and you make $400,000 a year?" to which the cardiologist replies, "Try doing it with the engine running!"
    Scott - NIU
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    President - National Sarcasm Society
    "Like we need your support!"

  8. #8
    La Rata Del Desierto K7SGJ's Avatar
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    NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND:


    A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.

    Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. one of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

    They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little '0ral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.'

    The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

    After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried.

    The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'
    A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory

    RIP ALBI-W3MIV RIP RUSS-W5RB RIP BOB-VK3ZL





  9. #9
    Newbie
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    I bet she was too!

  10. #10
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    Last edited by KG4CGC; 10-31-2013 at 12:19 AM.
    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

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