Jokes Yuks Laughs Ha ha and Jocularity Thread

[K7SGJ]

NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND:

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. one of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little '0ral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.' The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried. The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'

[G0TEZ]

I bet she was too!

[KG4CGC]

This is pretty messed up.

http://www.celebritynetworth.com/articles/entertainment-articles/the-most-embarrassing-private-jet-flight-of-all-time/?fb_action_ids=10200881266696504&fb_action_types=o g.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_ma p={%2210200881266696504%22%3A547720438596902}&acti on_type_map={%2210200881266696504%22%3A%22og.likes %22}&action_ref_map=[]

[VK3ZL]

This is pretty messed up.

http://www.celebritynetworth.com/articles/entertainment-articles/the-most-embarrassing-private-jet-flight-of-all-time/?fb_action_ids=10200881266696504&fb_action_types=o g.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_ma p={%2210200881266696504%22%3A547720438596902}&acti on_type_map={%2210200881266696504%22%3A%22og.likes %22}&action_ref_map=[]

Bloody priceless Charles....

I can relate to that situation..

Many years ago, 1991, I had had more spinal reconstruction surgery and after 3 months in Epworth hospital I was to be transported by air ambulance from Melbourne to Portland hospital for the remainder of my recovery...I was entirely immobile being sandwiched between two fiber glass body casts and couldn't move...If I wanted to crap or pee I had to have the assistance of two nurses who would jack my butt end up and slide the pan under me to catch the result..I had little control of my functions due to the surgery and had to be on the ball when I got the urge..The air ambulance was a Beech Kingair fitted with stretcher facilities and also seating for another 6 passengers plus two nurses..There were a few sitting passengers and me strapped down on the stretcher...About 15 minutes into the flight I suddenly had the urge to unload my bowels and in the situation I was feeling pretty vulnerable especially with the other passengers sitting beside and around me...Anyhow, the nurses being completely professional, grabbed a bed pan, ( silver saddle) and proceeded to jack my arse end up and clear the way for the expected result...Have any of you had to shit up hill with half a dozen people watching? I had become a master at it of course and the result was quite explosive at 30 thousand feet filling the fuselage with most of the day before dinner and breakfast odours...The looks I got from some of the passengers told me how they felt and I was feeling pretty embarrassed...The nurses took the whole episode in their stride though..The pilot came to talk to me when we landed and said that the plane was on auto pilot at the time but laughingly said he couldn't hang his head out the window at 30K feet...

When I think back to those days I often wonder how I ever coped and got myself back together..But that's life I guess and I bet none of the other passengers will ever forget that flight..

Bob..VK3ZL..