Jokes Yuks Laughs Ha ha and Jocularity Thread

[WZ7U]

Holy crap! I want a job there. I know better than to throw away a sink strainer and a fire extinguisher, so can I at least get a ground floor job?

Unfrickinbelieveable!!

[KD8TUT]

Holy crap! I want a job there. I know better than to throw away a sink strainer and a fire extinguisher, so can I at least get a ground floor job?

Unfrickinbelieveable!!

Been considering throwing out the Keurig machine for additional kicks. Or hiding all the k-cups except for the decaffeinated ones.

Though as a commentary: if you can figure out that story I just told.... you will understand the meaning of life.

We need a PC tech if your interested. But I'm not on the hiring team.

[WZ7U]

Mike, I can barely fucker my way around a home PC so I won't embarrass everyone involved by applying. But thank you for the offer

Just out of curiosity, just what exactly is a 'PC tech' and what would one do? Maybe I could do the job after all (but probably not from here)

[KD8TUT]

Mike, I can barely fucker my way around a home PC so I won't embarrass everyone involved by applying. But thank you for the offer

Just out of curiosity, just what exactly is a 'PC tech' and what would one do? Maybe I could do the job after all (but probably not from here)

A PC tech is responsible for fixing all the computers in the company. We've got about 400 of them company wide.

[WZ7U]

Well, I'd probably be better to be the guy giving the techs something to do, huh?

[W3WN]

< snip >
Just out of curiosity, just what exactly is a 'PC tech' and what would one do? Maybe I could do the job after all (but probably not from here)

Depends on the company.

In general terms, someone who is responsible for maintaining desktop workstations, ie PC's, and possibly mobile (laptop/tablet) machines as well. "Maintaining" including but not limited to hardware repair, updating components, setting up and configuring, and (when staff leave or are assigned to other duties) removing or replacing the machines. And, of course, the monitors, keyboards, mice, and/or other related peripherals. Which may include scanners, printers, and other devices.

KB3ERQ and I are part of a small IT shop -- 4 man team including our boss. "PC Tech" is part of what we do.

[KG4CGC]

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, (or any place on the planet) the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."
This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"
The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!
So who are the real robbers here?

[KG4CGC]

Large amounts of debt, affairs, substance abuse, and porn are all fairly common in terms of secrets that pop up in my cases. So much so, it's almost expected. However, this one was my favorite... Client is an elderly gentleman, some type of retired professional. His son is a pastor. Everything about his situation seemed very normal in terms of income, property, etc. However, it turns out he had a pretty serious porn hobby and he was concerned his wife might find out and use it against him in the divorce. However, as I mentioned above, I assured him that was pretty run-of-the-mill these days and unlikely to affect anything. He then asks if I feel the same knowing the porn is not 'mainstream.' I asked what he means and he looked very nervous. I wanted to make sure he wasn't referencing anything to do with minors, so I pushed him on it.
The guy was into goats.

[WZ7U]

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[WZ7U]

Saw this sig line over on eHam for ww7ke, clever and funny too IMO

"He speaks fluent PSK31... He operates 20 meters, on 15... His Wouff Hong has two Wouffs... Hiram Percy Maxim called HIM "The Old Man..." He is... The Most Interesting Ham In The World!"