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Thread: Jokes Yuks Laughs Ha ha and Jocularity Thread

  1. #151
    Conch Master suddenseer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NA4BH View Post
    But the bacon was crisp
    Whose turn is it to initiate a PM to the squeaky gears about to blow here? I already did it this month.

    cul de n8tb
    "Sadly, it always takes a few martyrs to get the ball rolling." Colonel Tim Boldman 2001
    "There are no differences but differences of degree between different degrees of difference and no difference."--William James
    "Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings." Victor J. Stenger

  2. #152
    Conch Master suddenseer's Avatar
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    cul de n8tb
    "Sadly, it always takes a few martyrs to get the ball rolling." Colonel Tim Boldman 2001
    "There are no differences but differences of degree between different degrees of difference and no difference."--William James
    "Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings." Victor J. Stenger

  3. #153
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    It was 1957. Mike goes to pick up his date, Molly.Molly’s father Samuel opens the door and invites him in.He asks to Mike what they’re planning to do on the date.Mike politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.Molly’s father suggests, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.”Mike was bewildered. “Excuse me, sir?”“Oh yes, Molly really likes to screw. She’ll screw all night if we let her.”Molly comes downstairs and announces that she’s ready to go.About 15 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Molly rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and shouts at her father, “Dad! The Twist! It’s called the Twist!”
    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

  4. #154
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    Name:  36064625_2223534157718848_6735504903432568832_n.jpg
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    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

  5. #155
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    “A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.
    Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
    The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
    The little boy says, “It’s dark in here.”The man says, “Yes, it is.”Boy ~ “I have a baseball.”

    Man ~ “That’s nice.”Boy ~ “Want to buy it?”Man ~ “No, thanks.”
    Boy ~ “My dad’s outside.”Man ~ “OK, how much?”Boy ~ “$250?
    In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
    Boy ~ “Its dark in here.”
    Man ~ “Yes, it is.”Boy ~ “I have a baseball glove.”

    The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”Boy ~ “$750?Man ~ “Fine.”

    A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”
    The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”
    The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
    Boy ~ “$1,000?

    The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is way more than those two things cost.”
    “I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
    They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
    The boy says, “It’s dark in here.”The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”

    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

  6. #156
    'Grumpy old bastid' kb2vxa's Avatar
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    Another joke... Dark Star was REALLY low budget. Even the original Star Trek didn't use a BEACH BALL for an alien. LOL!
    "The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you."
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    73 de Warren KB2VXA
    Station powered by atomic energy, operator powered by natural gas.

  7. #157
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    A South Carolina State Trooper pulled a car over on U.S. 76/378 East about 40 miles from Columbia. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was on his way to do a 'juggling' show in Downtown Sumter. He didn't want to be more late.
    The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them.

    The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him. While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the police car.
    A drunken good old boy from the backwoods got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in.

    The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cuz ain't no way in hell I can pass that test.”

    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

  8. #158
    'Grumpy old bastid' kb2vxa's Avatar
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    I've had my fill of sick jokes, I stopped listening to our president. That being said, I just remembered something about that alien beach ball. Here at the Jersey Shore we have beach balls with teeth.

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    "The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you."
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    73 de Warren KB2VXA
    Station powered by atomic energy, operator powered by natural gas.

  9. #159
    "Island Bartender" KG4CGC's Avatar
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    Last edited by KG4CGC; 10-11-2019 at 10:48 PM.
    I've enjoyed island life for 14 years. That's 10 years more than the Confederacy was around.
    RIP Albi
    When do you tell a woman you're a ham?

    It's a jungle out there. Many EQ stupidly with poor articulation.
    ~TKX

  10. #160
    'Grumpy old bastid' kb2vxa's Avatar
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    "The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you."
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    73 de Warren KB2VXA
    Station powered by atomic energy, operator powered by natural gas.

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