Jokes Yuks Laughs Ha ha and Jocularity Thread

[K7SGJ]

Bacon grease can also be used as a skin moisturizer. As a kid I watched women
use it on far more than their faces. Had a lot of fun back in those days.
Novice callsign was WD4LSP

I tried that once myself. Damn near burned my dick off.

[NA4BH]

I tried that once myself. Damn near burned my dick off.

But the bacon was crisp

[KG4CGC]

Wine taster...At a wine merchant's, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.
The director of the winery wondered how to send him away.He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said:
"It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.”
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass....
"It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results."
"Correct."
A third glass...
''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive,'' calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant - and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."

[KG4CGC]

Sausage Festival Firefighters.
One dark night in the small town of Woopwoop , W.A, a fire started inside the local sausage factory.In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said,
'All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the centre of the plant.
They have to be saved, so I will donate $50,000 to the fire company that brings them out and delivers them to me.'
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived,
the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.
Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.
It was the fire engine of the nearby Baringa volunteer fire department composed mainly of Aboriginal firefighters over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Aboriginal firefighters, passed the fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside,
the other firemen watched in amazement as the Aboriginal old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire as if they were fighting to save their own lives.
Within a short time, the Baringa old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was raising the reward to $200,000,
and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Aboriginal firefighters.
A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film.
The 'on camera' reporter asked the Aboriginal fire chief, 'What are you going to do with all that money?'
'Well,' said Chief Billy Cokebottle, the 70-year-old fire chief, 'de furst ting we gonnna do is fix dem brakes on dat ***** fire truck!!'

[KG4CGC]

[WZ7U]

Aw for fucks sake Charles. That was sooo easy. Funny chit though. Good job sir.

[KG4CGC]

Aw for fucks sake Charles. That was sooo easy. Funny chit though. Good job sir.

Just waiting on the triggered response. I should correct that. Spastic reaction.

[WZ7U]

Nice work regardless the circumstance.

[WØTKX]

[KG4CGC]

I remember that. Watched it live ... Back. In. The. Day.