I'm going to take a chance here and appeal to the more creative side of those of us on the beach.

How are you at writing limericks?

Here's why: Anyone who's been around awhile will remember when Rod Newkirk W9BRD was the DX editor for QST. More or less annually, he had a story about the annual meeting of the DX Hoggery & Poetry Depreciation Society, in which some deserving lid met his well-earned demise. During the course of the story, members of the audience themselves hurled pithy radio-related limericks at the miscreant... which also usual ended with their own demise.

Now, for a few years, I tried to run a simiilar rendering of the annual "meeting" of the local DXH&PDS chapter in my April newsletter, both as a humor article, and as a "tip of the hat" to Rod. (And in case anyone was wondering, Rod was aware of it and told me he enjoyed the copies I sent him). Problem is... I can write the story. But limericks? That's a lot tougher.

So I'm appealing to the multitude for help.

Now there are a few simple rules...
-- First, they have to be amateur radio related.
-- Second, they have to be "clean". It is a family-oriented club newsletter. While I enjoy a good double-entendre as much as the next guy, if they're crude or worse, I can't use them.
-- Third, they have to be humorous. I know that sounds pretty obvious, but I have to say it.
-- Fourth... they, it have to be "generic", that is to say, no personal attacks. The last time I tried this, I had someone send me a half dozen limericks... all of which were nasty odes against some well-known miscreants, like K1MAN and such. Not only were they not funny, but had I used any of them, I'd have opened myself up to a libel suit... yes, they were that nasty.
-- And fifth... they have to be original. I don't want to regurgitate something that's been floating around for years.

Now, any limericks that are used, will be credited in the text of the story to the author. As the story usually goes, the person shouting out the limerick will be dodging debris or demise immediately thereafter, so if you have a favorite method of fictionally exiting the scene, just let me know. It could be something old-fashioned (wouff hong, rettysnitch, lynching, etc.) or something original. I do reserve the right to modify the demise appropriately, of course.

I'd like to do this for the April newsletter, so I have until the end of the month to gather items.

Any help out there?