Yep, know what you go through.
Lost 2 good long time friends ( hams) last year which i knew personally very well.
Seems my age is catching up, this year i'll turn 60 and i go to funerals more as marriages or any other more happy things to do.

One friend i named here was short for retiring, selling hs company and do what he wanted to do after years of sacrificing all his time in the company.
Sometimes you sit in your chair and life really sucks....