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Thread: Limericks, anyone?

  1. #1
    Orca Whisperer W3WN's Avatar
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    Limericks, anyone?

    I'm going to take a chance here and appeal to the more creative side of those of us on the beach.

    How are you at writing limericks?

    Here's why: Anyone who's been around awhile will remember when Rod Newkirk W9BRD was the DX editor for QST. More or less annually, he had a story about the annual meeting of the DX Hoggery & Poetry Depreciation Society, in which some deserving lid met his well-earned demise. During the course of the story, members of the audience themselves hurled pithy radio-related limericks at the miscreant... which also usual ended with their own demise.

    Now, for a few years, I tried to run a simiilar rendering of the annual "meeting" of the local DXH&PDS chapter in my April newsletter, both as a humor article, and as a "tip of the hat" to Rod. (And in case anyone was wondering, Rod was aware of it and told me he enjoyed the copies I sent him). Problem is... I can write the story. But limericks? That's a lot tougher.

    So I'm appealing to the multitude for help.

    Now there are a few simple rules...
    -- First, they have to be amateur radio related.
    -- Second, they have to be "clean". It is a family-oriented club newsletter. While I enjoy a good double-entendre as much as the next guy, if they're crude or worse, I can't use them.
    -- Third, they have to be humorous. I know that sounds pretty obvious, but I have to say it.
    -- Fourth... they, it have to be "generic", that is to say, no personal attacks. The last time I tried this, I had someone send me a half dozen limericks... all of which were nasty odes against some well-known miscreants, like K1MAN and such. Not only were they not funny, but had I used any of them, I'd have opened myself up to a libel suit... yes, they were that nasty.
    -- And fifth... they have to be original. I don't want to regurgitate something that's been floating around for years.

    Now, any limericks that are used, will be credited in the text of the story to the author. As the story usually goes, the person shouting out the limerick will be dodging debris or demise immediately thereafter, so if you have a favorite method of fictionally exiting the scene, just let me know. It could be something old-fashioned (wouff hong, rettysnitch, lynching, etc.) or something original. I do reserve the right to modify the demise appropriately, of course.

    I'd like to do this for the April newsletter, so I have until the end of the month to gather items.

    Any help out there?
    Nobody is going to feel sorry for us. 90% of the people dont care, the other 10% are glad it happened. Clint Hurdle, 2019

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  2. #2
    Pope Carlo l K6BSO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by W3WN View Post
    -- Second, they have to be "clean". It is a family-oriented club newsletter.
    Damn, that leaves me out. I can only write dirty limericks.


    There was a young ham from Nantucket...
    My Dearest Karma
    I have a very long list
    Of people youve missed.

  3. #3
    Orca Whisperer kf0rt's Avatar
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    There was once a young lass from the lake
    Had an R4 that was made by Drake
    When the static would crash
    She'd grab some wood ash
    And head for the kitchen to bake cake

    (C'mon, sing along!)

  4. #4
    Orca Whisperer kf0rt's Avatar
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    I once knew an old ham named Joe
    Had an even older dog named Mo
    Mo peed on the tower
    When it was full of power
    Now there's no Mo, no mo

  5. #5
    Whacker Knot WTKX's Avatar
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    A group of Hams called Possum
    Some call them quite rotten,
    Bet let it be said,
    They are not dead,
    Just forced to QSY quite often.

    (a little liberty with the rhyme ;) )
    Most of the time we are punished if we go against the trend. Only at an inflection point are we rewarded. ~ George Soros



  6. #6
    Anti-Winlink Warlord ki4itv's Avatar
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    So I got this new ham-a-bout
    Whenever I type, I pout
    My home is the Zed
    I'm crazy in the head
    And they'll never, I mean never, throw me out.
    ;)

    "Bacon, Beans and Limousines"
    "Actually, it's a Democratic Republic; Democratic comes first".
    Please don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is obviously me, But my attitude depends largely upon you.

  7. #7
    La Rata Del Desierto K7SGJ's Avatar
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    I once knew a cute desert flower
    Who knew that I wanted to wow her
    She started to beam
    Or so it would seem
    Every time I showed her my tower
    A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory

    RIP ALBI-W3MIV RIP RUSS-W5RB RIP BOB-VK3ZL





  8. #8
    La Rata Del Desierto K7SGJ's Avatar
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    There once was a ham name of Chuckles
    Who most hams would say is a schmuckles
    Thinks Winlink and Pactor
    Are a radio disaster
    He needs a good rap with brass knuckles
    A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory

    RIP ALBI-W3MIV RIP RUSS-W5RB RIP BOB-VK3ZL





  9. #9
    Anti-Winlink Warlord ki4itv's Avatar
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    So we're not very good at following directions...
    Ron, you may have to cull through these just the tiniest bit. ;)

    "Bacon, Beans and Limousines"
    "Actually, it's a Democratic Republic; Democratic comes first".
    Please don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is obviously me, But my attitude depends largely upon you.

  10. #10
    Whacker Knot WTKX's Avatar
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    Spoilsport!
    Most of the time we are punished if we go against the trend. Only at an inflection point are we rewarded. ~ George Soros



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