Probably my favorite strip since the late, lamented Calvin & Hobbes. Take a look at my current profile picture.
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Probably my favorite strip since the late, lamented Calvin & Hobbes. Take a look at my current profile picture.
I got the moniker of "rat" in elementary school.
That cartoon makes me glad I did. :mrgreen:
A guy was nailing his interview when the employer said, "well you look great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened there?" The guy says, "oh I went to Yale". The employer: "oh great!! Well you're hired, you start Monday." Guy: "Yay! I got a yob!"
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench, and a man in a trench coat walked over and flashed them! Two of the little old ladies immediately had a stroke, but the third one didn't want to touch it.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
My experience is there are people all over the place I stop and ask, "How did you beat a million other sperm?"
"My stepmother (really nice lady, but very tightly wound) told me Satan put the dinosaur bones in the ground to trick us. I asked her why: 1. God would let Satan mess with his creation, and 2. Then why did she let my dad keep a whole shelf of fossils in the living room if they were literally created by the devil? She went and had a meltdown in the bedroom, yelled at my dad for a bit, and I got sent to my room. A little while later my dad came in and said he'd been told to have a serious talk with me. Then he said "Stop torturing your stepmother." He tried to look stern, started laughing, and had to wait till he could get his face under control before he left the room."
"I live in London as a welfare rep for American students. Knowing that American college costs a bundle, and the program to come over costs a load too, these students tend to be the richest and whitest of suburbia. One day the WiFi went down and I may as well have told them that there was no drinking water in the U.K. About 40 students were knocking on my door telling me it wasn't acceptable and that they were calling their 'daddys' to sort it out. 'My daddy is a lawyer, so if you think you're getting money for this accommodation when I haven't had WiFi you've got another thing coming.' I tried to calm them down, let them know it would be back on in an hour or two when one of them said the following line: 'You can't blame us for being upset, we grew up in 'THE FIRST WORLD!' I was flabbergasted, not only did she talk about being from 'the first world' (who does that) like that is something to be proud of, but her entire argument was, 'everything in my life has always been easy and perfect...how dare you take away the most minor of utilities for 3 hours.' I despair."
"I have a co-worker who once got visibly upset because I said he was about the same age as my parents. He's 51. My parents are 53. I'd like to point out that I didn't just say this out of the blue. He asked how old my parents were, and I knew his age, so I made the comparison. He also said things like 'I work out you know, I'm stronger than guys half my age.' Very much a man child in denial."
My dad collects coins, because his extremely Hungarian immigrant grandfather convinced him that the Bank (capitalizing it because to him, all banks are just one huge world bank) is determined to steal all his money from him, so he has to have a backup plan. This in and of itself isn't too extreme; plenty of people choose self-sustenance due to a distrust in government and economics, but the real kicker happened when he tried to roll his coins. He has to order his coin rolls online because he doesn't want to go to the bank and get coin rolls because then the bank will know how much money he's hiding from them. I'm not kidding. Anyway, he ordered a bag of coin rolls and waited about a month for them to come before he started getting curious where they were. He asked my mom to check the order tracking while he was at work one day, which led to this conversation: Mom: [Dad's name], it says here that the package made it to [town we live in] two weeks ago, but got sent back. It says you gave no delivery address. Dad: Yeah, why would I do that? I don't want them to know where I live, they might tell everyone."
One day my sister sees one of her friends crying and quickly runs over to her to ask what is wrong. Her friend, through sobs, manages to say 'Everything is just so unfairrrrrrr, I can't even believe my life!!!' My sister is so concerned because this girl seems on the verge of a breakdown. After calming her down for a bit my sister asks again what is bothering the friend, thinking maybe someone died, or her parents are getting divorced... 'Well, you know my birthday is coming up, and so is my sister's....and well (sobs some more) my parents are getting us both brand new range rovers, and because she is older (breaks down) SHE IS GETTING THE BLACK ONE BUT I WANTED THAT ONEEEEEEE!!!' The only thing my sister could do was say 'I am so sorry for you' and walk away. We still do feel bad for her...so detached."
"My brother's best friend married a pretty rich girl. He said the first time he saw her do laundry she was going through her pockets and throwing her loose change in the garbage. She had no idea that people kept their change. Genuinely thought everyone just threw it away."
"I've met a few people who are really brilliant in one field, yet lack even the most basic level of sense in certain areas outside of it. Sort of like the thing about Einstein not being able to tie his shoes (if that's true). My favorite was a university professor: absolutely brilliant knowledge of middle eastern politics, particularly around the Israel-Palestine conflict. He could remember insanely precise historical details going back thousands of years, and seemed to understand the subtlest of nuances on both sides of the conflict. His lectures were amazing. Or they would have been, if he had turned off his cell phone. He simply couldn't figure out how to silence his phone, or even turn it on and off. He had let his TA do it for him a couple of times, but then he'd leave with it still off and couldn't figure out how to turn it back on until he came back the next day, so after going through that twice he decided he would just leave it on. And it appeared that every telemarketer on earth had his number, because it would ring at least 5 times an hour at full volume, and he'd just talk over the top of it like it wasn't happening. He also never answered his email, because he apparently didn't realize that he had one or might need to use it. One day he'd forgotten to bring his little water jug, and sent his TA to the vending machine in the middle of a lecture to bring him a bottle of water. She brought it back and handed it to him, and he turned red in the face trying to get it open, before handing it back to her and declaring that something was wrong with it. She opened it quickly and easily: he'd been turning the cap the wrong way. I should specify here that this was not a super old guy who you'd expect to have issues with technology and life in general: he was in his mid or late 40's."
Did I tell you about my brother's best friend's wife?
Kid goes in to interview for a sales job.
Boss man hands him his laptop and says "Sell me this laptop."
Kid picks up laptop and leaves.
Two hours later, boss calls him - "Bring back my laptop!"
Kid says "$200 and it's yours."
Freshman year of college I'm in a math class and we had some random group project to do. A girl in my group informed us she wouldn't be at the next meeting as she was going to have eye surgery. I asked her why and she said "I have genital cataracts" and I said "you mean congenital?" and she gave me an confused looked and everyone backed her up that she really did mean genital and not congenital. Even after I Google it and show everyone the difference between the two words they proceeded to tell me how you can't believe everything you read on the Internet. I was dumbfounded.
I used to work at Walmart as a cashier. During tax free weekend, the place was a mad house. The lines were long and the customers were non-stop. That being said, I can say that at least 80 percent of customers would point out to me, quite angrily, that their total was still including the tax. For example, if their purchase was $148.67 they would wonder why the tax of .67 was on there and why it wasn't an even total, like $148.00 even. I had to repeatedly explain that's not what tax is.
I used to work on the Brooklyn Bridge as an ironworker...One day some poor soul was standing towards the edge and was contemplating jumping. I told my foreman and he called the police, at about this time all the trades on the bridge started to gather and watch this man. Maybe 5 minutes go by and someone starts a "Jump!" chant. This dude was going to kill himself and now he has about 40 people egging him on...he jumped. Quit my job and moved across the country, f_ck those f_cking f_cks.
I was a TA in high school for a regular High School, I think it was World History course. So not Honors, not "Academically Enriched", but not quite eating your own feces either. Anyways, get to class and the power is out so of course everyone is going nuts cause... its dark, I guess? So the teacher still wants to lecture and the kids all groan. That is until one yells out, "Let's watch TV!" YAAAAAY!! Everyone starts chanting, "TV! TV! TV!" I'll never forget the teacher's face as he looked at me. His eyes filled with disappointment about the future of our country. Unable to realize that no electricity also meant no television. Sad.
"I worked in a restaurant that had a huge selection (150+) of hot sauces. We sold them by the bottle but customers could sample any of them and use them on their food. A couple came in, the guy started bragging about how much he loved hot sauce and how he never found one that was too hot. He asked for the hottest one we have. I brought the bottle to his table, he filled a spoon with the sauce and made a big production of how he was going to eat it. I told him not to, the hostess told him not to, the waitress serving the next table told him not to... he put it in his mouth, started choking and gagging, puked on the table then passed out and did a faceplant right into the puke!! We called 911. He woke up right away and kept gagging for a w hile. He refused treatment when the paramedics showed up. They left without even ordering a meal! The girl told one of the restaurant staff that it was their first date"
Holy Shyte ... Only in Easley! ..... You will not believe what just happened ... I pulled into the QT gas station to get a drink ... when I walked up I noticed these two cops watching a woman who was smoking while fueling up. I saw her and thought, "what an idiot and with the cops right there too" Anyway, I went in and got my drink and as I was checking out I hear someone screaming, I look outside and the woman's arm was on fire! She was swinging her arm and running around just going nutz! When I got outside the cops had put her on the ground and were putting the fire out. Then they put hand cuffs on her and were putting her in the police car. I was thinking "She shouldn't have been smoking & pumping gas!" But being the concerned citizen that I am, I asked them what they were arresting her for, figuring that catching her arm ablaze would be punishment enough. He looked me dead in my eye and said ... ''WAVING A FIREARM!''
Thanks, I needed thatQuote:
Originally Posted by KG4CGC
Guy got out of his car to express some road rage to me. I just got out of my truck, walked past him, pushed the lock button on his door, closed it, walked past him again (his mouth hanging open this time), got back in my truck and drove off. He seemed to be frozen with confusion.
:rofl: X infinity
If he did what I think he did, in his moment of rage, now that's a good one!Quote:
Originally Posted by KG4CGC
About 20 years ago, I was playing a game at a game store. Surprising, right? I won't go into detail, but it was a LARP with a darker theme. So, we're playing, and this old guy walks in to the shop and looks at us. He asks, 'Are you guys Satanists?'
Without skipping a beat, my friend Mark replies, ''Why, are you a virgin?'' I friggin lost it.
I once worked at a pizza place where they sold pizzas out of the window until late in the night. A drunk man wandered up and asked for fish and chips.
Colleague: ''You're not doing well with the ladies tonight, are you?''
Him: ''No, how did you know?''
Colleague: ''You're not very good at reading signs.''
They make great Christmas presents.
In one of my classes in school, I always used to ask the guy sat next to me for the time. He would always be able to give me the right time, without looking at his watch, even though I couldn't see a clock anywhere in the room. I'd ask him how he always knew the time, and he said that he could tell by the positions of the shadows around the room. After a year of believing this, I noticed there was a clock right there on the wall in front of me.
For the longest time I just assumed that buzzing cicadas was just the sound that the hot sun makes. Then one day I was like, "Wait, the sun doesn't make sound ..."
While camping I spent 5 minutes looking for my flashlight with my flashlight.
When I was younger, I thought I had lost my GameBoy Pocket. This being my most treasured possession, I began a journey throughout the house to find it. I searched everywhere. From my room, which I practically turned upside down, to my living room, where I proceeded to check under every couch and chair in the vicinity. Lo and behold, I found it in my hand after about thirty minutes of searching. The mind of an eight-year-old is a wondrous thing.
I used to work overnight shifts, and then I got off work I would go to Denny's and grab dinner because it was the only place that was open that early. So one day, I get out of my car and start walking to the door when I notice everyone looking DIRECTLY AT ME from the restaurant. EVERYONE. Even the cooks. I check my zipper and it's not open... I look around and nothing. Odd. I keep walking to the door. They start pointing vigorously. I look at my zipper again, then around... NOTHING!
Someone opens the door enough to stick their head out and yells, "For goodness sake, Get IN HERE!" I look around and point at myself to say "ME"? I speed up to the door and THEN reflected in the glass I see the HUGE bull moose 10 feet behind me. Once safely inside I see it had damaged 3 cars and was frothy at the mouth (not Rabies we found out later, just confused and pissed). The police showed up and tranqued him.
This is one I'm particularly ashamed of. Worst of all it was well before my drug days, so I can't blame it on that. But I got the sudoku demo cartridge for the original DS and played the game quite frequently, always struggling a bit with each game. Sudoku is a great game. I never needed to buy it because the demo version was giving me hundreds of hours of fun in itself!
Of course the demo was always just the one game over and over, for years I would play it thinking I was getting a new game each time. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I just never noticed. And I struggled with each game as if I were playing it for the first time. I should probably have mentioned this to my doctor.
Suddenly becoming conscious of your walk and instantly losing all motor skills.
Eww ^^^
She called crying and instead of telling her I had moved on I just told her the mozzarella sticks I was cooking were done and that I had to go. What she didn't know was that I was a vegan at the time.
I overheard a guy talking to a girl at a music festival. He exclaimed, "Woah, you got so messed up last night. You have a penis tattooed on your back.” She replied with, "Eh, at least it's something I like."
As I was leaving the bathroom I heard a man say, "Urinal conversation is alright as long as the guy doesn't compliment you on your watch."
Overheard at the grocery store yesterday, a man was explaining to his kid that steaks come from cows. The boy says, "Why do they have to kill innocent cows?" and without missing a beat the dad says, "Because there's not a lot of guilty cows running around.”
People trying to hand out bibles on campus. Man: "Would you like a copy of the Old Testament?"
Other guy: "No thanks, I have the new one."
Overheard a 4th grader say, "Issues? He doesn't have issues. He has a subscription!" From the mouths of babes!
A conversation about names shortening and changing ie. Elizabeth to Beth, then it got to confusing ones like Teddy being short for Theodore. Then:
Friend 1: "How do you get Dick from Richard?"
Friend 2: "Take him out on a date first."
One day, when I was 18 years old, I asked my father if I was a mistake:
"Dad am I a mistake?"
Without missing a beat he quipped, "A mistake? You're not a mistake. You're an f-ing tragedy. You can live with a mistake." He then laughs and walks off.
I heard an older gentleman of about 60 say on the phone while walking off the golf course, "I only hit two balls today, and that was when I stepped on a rake."
I was on the street near one of those guys who “spreads” the word of God. He was pointing at a man and shouted, “You sir, are going to hell!"
With a shrug the guy goes, “Nah man, I’m just going to the DMV, you're going to hell for lying.”
"Well, I've taken up enough of your time......... and vice versa."
When I was an RA in college, one of my residents had a crush on me that wasn't reciprocated. Her roommate invited me over one night to watch a movie with the two of them, then the roommate left the room. There we were, sitting on the floor, watching some stupid chick flick, when she moved over to sit even closer to me. She grabbed a blanket and threw it over our laps, moving even closer. I knew things were going to be going the way of the smooching and horizontal mambo shortly if things went as she planned, but I was not attracted to her and wanted to the foil the plan as best I could. Thank goodness it was taco night in the cafeteria. Even my eyes watered with the stench and spice of that magnificent fart. And it saved me from doing the hibbidy dibbidy with one of my residents.
"A couple once tried to have a threesome with me. They kept trying to touch me and massage me, and my awkward, idiotic attempt at diffusing the situation was to complain incessantly about how hungry I was and could we please go find some fried chicken. Finally I had to explicitly tell them I wasn't interested. They were really nice about it, so nice that they believed me about being starving and loaded me down with all this fresh produce. I had to walk home at midnight carrying two huge armfuls of cabbage and pears and stuff. All my housemates were up when I got back and wanted to know where I had found a farmer's market so late at night."
When I was an RA in college, one of my residents had a crush on me that wasn't reciprocated. Her roommate invited me over one night to watch a movie with the two of them, then the roommate left the room. There we were, sitting on the floor, watching some stupid chick flick, when she moved over to sit even closer to me. She grabbed a blanket and threw it over our laps, moving even closer. I knew things were going to be going the way of the smooching and horizontal mambo shortly if things went as she planned, but I was not attracted to her and wanted to the foil the plan as best I could. Thank goodness it was taco night in the cafeteria. Even my eyes watered with the stench and spice of that magnificent fart. And it saved me from doing the hibbidy dibbidy with one of my residents.
The Old Fried Chicken Excuse
"A couple once tried to have a threesome with me. They kept trying to touch me and massage me, and my awkward, idiotic attempt at diffusing the situation was to complain incessantly about how hungry I was and could we please go find some fried chicken. Finally I had to explicitly tell them I wasn't interested. They were really nice about it, so nice that they believed me about being starving and loaded me down with all this fresh produce. I had to walk home at midnight carrying two huge armfuls of cabbage and pears and stuff. All my housemates were up when I got back and wanted to know where I had found a farmer's market so late at night."
It was 2005 or 2006. With some friends at a girl's place. She has a thing for me, but I strongly suspect that she isn't completely mentally stable. We're all on her bed watching Family Guy together. Girl decides she f_cking wants me. Rolls on top of me, pins are arms. Friends are like 'uuuuuh, we're gonna leave' and start to head out. I give them the 'DON'T F_CKING LEAVE ME' eyes. I think fast. Wrestling instincts take over. Flip her over, I'm on top of her with her arms pinned now. She has the 'OH F_CK YES' look in here eyes. I hop up, and 'WOOOP WOOOOP WOOOP WOOOP' Zoidberg crab walk away. She did turn out to be crazy as f*ck. Avoided sticking my d_ck in crazy.
Last year my birthday happened to be when I was on spring break from university. Fast forward through a long week at home to my birthday night. Cue college kid shenanigans. 3 hours later I'm laying in bed in my friends basement when a girl from the party comes in and lays in the bed. She starts trying to make moves, but because I have a girlfriend I decide that I didn't want anything to do with her. I drop hints that I was too drunk, wasn't feeling it, needed to sleep, and this girl wouldn't let up. I pretended to give up, she started making out with me, and then, I had a stroke of genius. I stuck my finger in her butt, and she replied "I'm not really an anal girl" then promptly left the room. Many laughs have been had over that story
A few years back, single, and on the mend from a 9 year relationship, I was on Facebook chatting with my Mother's best friend. We were talking about her kids who are my age, and how they've been, and how I wished I had hung out with them more in High School. The conversation becomes a bit more personal, and it migrates to text. She's asking me how big I am, and how she's always been curious. She's a very attractive lady, but 30 years older than I am. Plus, she has a big rack. Which I got to see based off the pictures she started sending me. In a moment of weakness, I decided, I'm going to hit this. I give her my address, and she starts driving over. In a moment of clarity, I realized what was about to happen and started freaking out. I called my Mother shortly before her friend arrived and told her I was homesick. That I missed her cooking. I asked if she could please come over and cook with me. She enthusiastically agreed, and said she'd be right on down! I asked her if she could please call 5-10 minutes before she got there because I may be in the shower. Her friend then arrives, and immediately strips down naked before the door even shuts. She starts straddling me and my phone rings. I pick it up, put it on speaker, and it's my Mother saying she's about 5 minutes away. Her friend had the deer in the headlights look, put her clothes back on, and bolted.
Every Christmas my in laws ask me to cook dinner for them. They always want steaks, and I always make sure to cook them exactly as ordered. I've been cooking for years at a restaurant, and now at the firehouse and know my way around a steak. Every year I stand out in the cold and grill their dinner while they sit inside and enjoy the fire. Every year they insist that their steaks are pink. Every year I prove to them that the lighting in the dining room is pinkish and if they would simply come outside and view their steaks in natural light they would know. So I go back outside and grill their steaks until they turn to charcoal to make them happy.
Every year I have to listen to 6 months of complaints about how f---ing tough the steaks were" Source
I had a patient with whom I had a billing dispute refer to me as a horse doctor. In a split second, it just came to me: No, I'm not a veterinarian; perhaps you are confusing me with my father. I think he once treated your mother.
"I was working as a junior executive of a private corporation in the mid 70's. I was headed out to a festive lunch on Dec. 23rd with some of my colleagues to celebrate the coming holiday. As I was preparing to leave, the CEO stopped by my office to beg me to pick up a Christmas gift for his wife on my way back because he 'was running late and didn't have a clue' what she might like. He dropped his AmEx credit card on my desk on his way out of the office. I knew better than to say I didn't think it was part of my job description. His wife got a $1,400 hand tailored leather designer purse for Christmas that year. I heard later that she loved it. Funny, my boss never even asked me to get him coffee after that."
Some of this is reads like Penthouse Letters. :snicker:
OK true story. I had neighbors that thought AM and FM stood for American music and Foreign music!
When I ran the tech lab we had a new engineer come in and after a hour pawing through our resistor pile I asked her if I could help. She said she was looking for a 10K resistor. Looking over her shoulder I reached in and picked one up and gave it to her. She looked puzzled at it and said "it does not look like it should, it is not zig-zag like the drawing".
When I was in kindergarten, I drew a male ghost going to the bathroom. I had older brothers, so it was very detailed (and I even put a water-line on the testicles...because that is where I thought urine was stored). The teachers and principal called in my parents for a "serious conference" and asked my dad what he was going to do about the picture. After my dad finished laughing, he told them that he was going to make copies and send them to all of his friends and relatives for Halloween. And he did. That was 40 years ago...and I still have a few extra copies if any of you need them. Oh, and I found out that balls do not, in fact, store urine.
^^^ Avatar material! :evil:
So... there's this sign above the sink at work: "Please do not throw away the wire sink strainer".
This bothered me... who would throw away a sink strainer??
So to test reality... I decided to throw away the fire extinguisher which was next to the note.
Three days later.... no note about the fire extinguisher- but there's a new fire extinguisher.
So I put up a note which said "Do not throw out the fire extinguisher".
Boss stopped by and told me "Good idea".
Holy crap! I want a job there. I know better than to throw away a sink strainer and a fire extinguisher, so can I at least get a ground floor job?
Unfrickinbelieveable!! :rotflol:
Been considering throwing out the Keurig machine for additional kicks. Or hiding all the k-cups except for the decaffeinated ones.Quote:
Originally Posted by WZ7U
Though as a commentary: if you can figure out that story I just told.... you will understand the meaning of life.
We need a PC tech if your interested. But I'm not on the hiring team.
Mike, I can barely fucker my way around a home PC so I won't embarrass everyone involved by applying. But thank you for the offer
Just out of curiosity, just what exactly is a 'PC tech' and what would one do? Maybe I could do the job after all (but probably not from here)
A PC tech is responsible for fixing all the computers in the company. We've got about 400 of them company wide.Quote:
Originally Posted by WZ7U
Well, I'd probably be better to be the guy giving the techs something to do, huh? :snicker:
Depends on the company.Quote:
Originally Posted by WZ7U
In general terms, someone who is responsible for maintaining desktop workstations, ie PC's, and possibly mobile (laptop/tablet) machines as well. "Maintaining" including but not limited to hardware repair, updating components, setting up and configuring, and (when staff leave or are assigned to other duties) removing or replacing the machines. And, of course, the monitors, keyboards, mice, and/or other related peripherals. Which may include scanners, printers, and other devices.
KB3ERQ and I are part of a small IT shop -- 4 man team including our boss. "PC Tech" is part of what we do.
During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, (or any place on the planet) the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."
This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"
The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!
So who are the real robbers here?
Large amounts of debt, affairs, substance abuse, and porn are all fairly common in terms of secrets that pop up in my cases. So much so, it's almost expected. However, this one was my favorite... Client is an elderly gentleman, some type of retired professional. His son is a pastor. Everything about his situation seemed very normal in terms of income, property, etc. However, it turns out he had a pretty serious porn hobby and he was concerned his wife might find out and use it against him in the divorce. However, as I mentioned above, I assured him that was pretty run-of-the-mill these days and unlikely to affect anything. He then asks if I feel the same knowing the porn is not 'mainstream.' I asked what he means and he looked very nervous. I wanted to make sure he wasn't referencing anything to do with minors, so I pushed him on it.
The guy was into goats.
.
Saw this sig line over on eHam for ww7ke, clever and funny too IMO
"He speaks fluent PSK31... He operates 20 meters, on 15... His Wouff Hong has two Wouffs... Hiram Percy Maxim called HIM "The Old Man..." He is... The Most Interesting Ham In The World!"