Wife Phones

[W3WN]

Phone rings at my desk this morning, shortly after 8 AM. Since I'm the "early guy" in the IT Department, I get all calls at this hour.

Caller ID is from an outfit I've never heard of, "IT World Services" or something like that. 400 area code. So I have a pretty good idea of what's coming.

"Good morning, IT. How can I help you?"
(Thick Indian accent)"Hello, is this the IT Department?"
Oh, brother, a real winner here. "Yes. How can I help you?"
"Could I have your name?"
"No." Obviously I'm not lifting a fingernail to help this cold caller. But he continues with the script.
"I'd like to talk to you about your wife phones."
"My what?"
"Wife phones!" (Getting agitated)
"Wife phones? Am I hearing your right?"
"Wife phones! W I F I phones!"
Oh, boy.
"We don't have any wife phones. We have analog phones, digital phones, and IP phones, but no wife phones."
"I see. Can I email you information about our wife phones? We have all types available!"
I'd had enough at this point. "No, thank you, We are not interested, Please remove our number and don't call back."
"But I must talk to you about wife phones!"
"No. Goodbye!"

The boss and our website admin both broke up laughing when I told them the story.

Wife phones. That's a new one.

[KD8TUT]

Funny... very good story.

Had one this week as well- but not nearly as good.

So I've got two laptops, one is my work laptop, the other the VPs laptop. Both need new screens and are under warranty.

So I hit the Lenovo website to get service for my laptop, and get an agent on chat- they remote in to make sure all my software was up to date. And then *poof* the agent disappears.

No followup e-mail... nothing.

So I try to go on the site again and start the process over... but the site is not working. In fact it's showing up in another language: Russian.

So I switch to phone mode- which means I have to stop doing other work to actually talk to someone, sit on hold, and arrange for the service calls.

I get an agent, the call scheduling is pending, and I go on with my day.

The upshot? I have 18 scheduled service calls, confirmed via e-mail, at 18 different times, a few at the wrong location, all for the same two laptops.

Thursday and Friday are going to be really funny.

[n6hcm]

The upshot? I have 18 scheduled service calls, confirmed via e-mail, at 18 different times, a few at the wrong location, all for the same two laptops.

you have enough parking for all these people who may or may not turn up?

[WA4GSD]

The upshot? I have 18 scheduled service calls, confirmed via e-mail, at 18 different times, a few at the wrong location, all for the same two laptops.

Thursday and Friday are going to be really funny.



18 service calls scheduled across 2 days, 30 minutes each with no lunch breaks... sounds like it WILL be fun.
Do they all need escorted around your facility as well?
Enjoy and good luck.

[KG4CGC]

Lately I have taken it upon myself to waste the caller's time. Last guy claimed he was calling from The Price Is Right. Sounded like he was from stereotypical East LA. I wasn't buying the shtick.
Lately they've been spoofing local numbers.

[n2ize]

I llike when they used to call and tell me that they detected I have a problem with my vindows.

[K7SGJ]

Whenever those bastids get through and I end up on the phone with them, I always try to sell them carpet cleaning. I am obnoxious and talk over the top of them whenever they open their mouth. It doesn't take long for them to say fuckit and hang up.

[KB3LAZ]

Phone rings at my desk this morning, shortly after 8 AM. Since I'm the "early guy" in the IT Department, I get all calls at this hour.

Caller ID is from an outfit I've never heard of, "IT World Services" or something like that. 400 area code. So I have a pretty good idea of what's coming.

"Good morning, IT. How can I help you?"
(Thick Indian accent)"Hello, is this the IT Department?"
Oh, brother, a real winner here. "Yes. How can I help you?"
"Could I have your name?"
"No." Obviously I'm not lifting a fingernail to help this cold caller. But he continues with the script.
"I'd like to talk to you about your wife phones."
"My what?"
"Wife phones!" (Getting agitated)
"Wife phones? Am I hearing your right?"
"Wife phones! W I F I phones!"
Oh, boy.
"We don't have any wife phones. We have analog phones, digital phones, and IP phones, but no wife phones."
"I see. Can I email you information about our wife phones? We have all types available!"
I'd had enough at this point. "No, thank you, We are not interested, Please remove our number and don't call back."
"But I must talk to you about wife phones!"
"No. Goodbye!"

The boss and our website admin both broke up laughing when I told them the story.

Wife phones. That's a new one.

On another forum I belong to we have what we call "wife knives" but I have not heard of wife phones. Sexist as it may seem, btw, but it could refer to husbands too it just seems that much like this hobby most into collecting Japanese kitchen knives are male. Or at least those who are vocal about it. Regardless, I wonder if they are similar. Wife knives are normally lower end stainless knives that are soft in composition and can take a beating. Think your typical Euro stainless knife.

I do know they have old folks phones, my grandfather has one. Rather should I say phones for the visually impaired. Huge numbers and they are not smart phones. I hate phones anyway. Maybe they should have kid phones, too. My little cousins are breaking their ipharts all of the time.

[W3WN]

I llike when they used to call and tell me that they detected I have a problem with my vindows.I always ask them WHICH Windows machine... Windows 10, Windows 8, Windows 7, Windows Vista, Windows XP, Windows 2000, Windows 98, Windows 95 or Windows for Workgroups 3.11? Half the time, they disconnect between XP and 2K.

The other half, they either insist on the "Windows Machine", or they pick one. If I then tell them I'm running a Mac or running Linux, then they claim my Google is the problem.

It used to be fun to play with them. Anymore, it's just a pain in the keister. I usually just tell them to eat a cow and hang up.

[NQ6U]

I llike when they used to call and tell me that they detected I have a problem with my vindows.

I have played along with them, pretending to follow their instructions (they direct you to a web site and have you download a file) but acting really, really dumb. It’s amazing how long they’ll put up with it before they get frustrated and hang up. Wasting their time is the best thing you can do to those bastards.

[WØTKX]

Windows 10, Windows 8, Windows 7, Windows Vista, Windows XP, Windows 2000, Windows 98, Windows 95 or Windows for Workgroups 3.11?

Oh, you forgot errr, One Oh One...

http://zdnet3.cbsistatic.com/hub/i/r/2015/07/23/db9b07b8-1bd3-4451-9365-7bd336f4d7dd/resize/1170x878/6a5511eafc6e9a454add33945466f8ed/cmwindows1-0jul15a.jpg

Better yet, tell 'em you're a Real GEM...

http://toastytech.com/guis/gem20about.png

[K7SGJ]

Huh. A new app. Who Gnu?

[W3WN]

Oh, you forgot errr, One Oh One...

http://zdnet3.cbsistatic.com/hub/i/r/2015/07/23/db9b07b8-1bd3-4451-9365-7bd336f4d7dd/resize/1170x878/6a5511eafc6e9a454add33945466f8ed/cmwindows1-0jul15a.jpg

Better yet, tell 'em you're a Real GEM...

http://toastytech.com/guis/gem20about.png
Forget? No. I just don't have a Win 1 or GEM machine operational at the moment. But I do have the disks, somewhere.

Ran Win 1 on an old Panasonic Sr. Partner (XT clone). The Ex had a game called "Balance of Power" which required it. Was about the only useful thing that Win 1 was good for.

I could have thrown OS/2 in there as well. I still have that CD around somewhere in the archive...

[n0km]

I never did get very good with Reversi...

[KC2UGV]

I llike when they used to call and tell me that they detected I have a problem with my vindows.

Love those ones. I have Linux on all machines, so I took the call, and played dumb.

Open the start menu.

What is the start menu?

It's where your applications are.

Oh, you mean the applications menu!

Yes, that! Now, click "Run..."

I don't have that option.

Well, open a command window.

You mean xterm?

Yes, xterm.

Ok, type "sysmgmt.msc", and hit enter...

sysmgmt.msc: command not found

Go on for 30 minutes with them, letting them try to realize I'm not running Windows.