W3WN
11-17-2015, 10:35 AM
Courtesy of Greg Easterbrook's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column:
There’s a huge space battle that is never explained. (Do you have any idea who was fighting whom at the beginning of “Revenge of the Sith?”) A mysterious masked figure cackles about power and hurls energy bolts. Respectable people refuse to believe that dark forces are afoot, though this happens constantly in the Star Wars galaxy. Good-looking teenagers decide to make a stand: Luckily, they have magic! One of the good-looking teens is revealed to be related to someone important; this is presented as a huge surprise. There are numerous battles in which Jedi armed only with light sabers defeat storm troopers, clones or droids with laser guns. In order to deflect the laser shots, the arms holding the light sabers must move faster than the speed of light.
An adorable computer-animated robot mugs for the camera while adorable computer-animated pet-like aliens do something heroic. Someone takes a vow as music swells. Noble space-fighter pilots stage a desperate attack against a gigantic weapon; the noble pilots use World War I dogfighting tactics rather than, say, delivering a bomb. (In the Star Wars galaxy, antigravity devices are common but explosives are unknown, as are guard rails.) It all builds up to a light-saber confrontation. Let’s see, they’ve done it at the edge of a flying city and on a lava field; maybe this light-saber fight will occur inside a supernova. Good triumphs over evil, or at least sets the stage for a sequel.
What to watch for while popping Milk Duds: How many bottomless pits? In “Return of the Jedi,” the emperor had a bottomless pit in his office.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/11/upshot/football-inequality-and-a-patriots-panthers-super-bowl.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2FT.M.Q.%20%E2% 80%94%20Tuesday%20Morning%20Quarterback&action=click&contentCollection=The%20Upshot&module=Collection®ion=Marginalia&src=me&pgtype=article
There’s a huge space battle that is never explained. (Do you have any idea who was fighting whom at the beginning of “Revenge of the Sith?”) A mysterious masked figure cackles about power and hurls energy bolts. Respectable people refuse to believe that dark forces are afoot, though this happens constantly in the Star Wars galaxy. Good-looking teenagers decide to make a stand: Luckily, they have magic! One of the good-looking teens is revealed to be related to someone important; this is presented as a huge surprise. There are numerous battles in which Jedi armed only with light sabers defeat storm troopers, clones or droids with laser guns. In order to deflect the laser shots, the arms holding the light sabers must move faster than the speed of light.
An adorable computer-animated robot mugs for the camera while adorable computer-animated pet-like aliens do something heroic. Someone takes a vow as music swells. Noble space-fighter pilots stage a desperate attack against a gigantic weapon; the noble pilots use World War I dogfighting tactics rather than, say, delivering a bomb. (In the Star Wars galaxy, antigravity devices are common but explosives are unknown, as are guard rails.) It all builds up to a light-saber confrontation. Let’s see, they’ve done it at the edge of a flying city and on a lava field; maybe this light-saber fight will occur inside a supernova. Good triumphs over evil, or at least sets the stage for a sequel.
What to watch for while popping Milk Duds: How many bottomless pits? In “Return of the Jedi,” the emperor had a bottomless pit in his office.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/11/upshot/football-inequality-and-a-patriots-panthers-super-bowl.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2FT.M.Q.%20%E2% 80%94%20Tuesday%20Morning%20Quarterback&action=click&contentCollection=The%20Upshot&module=Collection®ion=Marginalia&src=me&pgtype=article