Do you know your own butthole?

[K9CCH]

Rotflmao



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeSKJBf3hYo&feature=youtu.be

[KG4CGC]

There was this rancher in West Texas. He had made quite the name for himself and everyone in the surrounding area knew him and everyone further than that knew of him. In his older years, his wife had passed away and he met and married a much younger woman. Thirty years or so, younger; a "trophy-wife," if you will. Well, she said it wasn't just for the money and that she loved the rancher dearly. Their relationship lasted for quite a while, however age caught up with the rancher and he passed away. Naturally, the young wife inherited all of his land, his livestock, his possessions, the house, everything.
The wife couldn't keep up with the land by herself, as she knew nothing of how to take care of it. So, she put out a few ads looking for a ranch hand. Over the course of a couple of weeks, four or five men had answered the call, however, only one of them had caught her fancy. He was a young man; Jimmy, he said his name was. Lean, tall, and handsome. And he seemed to know enough to take care of the land. Jimmy was hired on the spot.
Jimmy started immediately. He showed up before sunrise and often left after sundown. The rancher's wife noticed how hard Jimmy worked. She noticed the sweat on his brow. How he'd take his shirt off and tie it around his waist. How he'd lean over to pour gas into the tractor. Jimmy was very handsome, and she took notice. She noticed that Jimmy would do anything she asked of him. Run to the store to pick up some milk and sugar. Go into town and pick up some feed. Take the dog for a walk. Anything she asked, Jimmy obeyed.
One day, she called Jimmy into the house, offered him a glass of sweet tea and told him to sit down. And so, naturally, Jimmy obeyed. He sipped on his tea as they sat in silence. After a few minutes, the wife told Jimmy, "Jimmy, I've noticed that you've been working very hard since I hired you. I think you should take a break. Take tomorrow off." She took some money from her pocket and began to lean and hand it to him, "And take this money. I want you to go into town tonight, head to the bars. Have some fun!" At first, Jimmy refused. He said there was no way he could leave the ranch, there was too much work to do. She insisted and after fighting, Jimmy accepted. She only asked one thing of him, that he return to the house to let her know that he got home safely. And so, that night, Jimmy headed into town.
The wife waited up for him, sitting by the fire, drinking her glass of red wine. Some time around 3 or 4 in the morning. Jimmy stumbles in the front door. In a drunken haze, he slurs his words to the tune of "I'm sorry, I did not mean to be so late."
The rancher's wife stared at him. A glare. Pointing to the armchair, she told him, "Jimmy. Why don't you take a seat right there." Jimmy obeyed. She asked him, "Did you have a good time tonight?" Jimmy nodded. She stood up and motioned him to do the same; and he did. She said, "Jimmy. Why don't you take off my boots?" And so, Jimmy took off her boots. She then said, "Jimmy. Why don't you take off my jeans?" And so, Jimmy took off her jeans, placing them on the couch. She said, "Jimmy. Why don't you take off my blouse?" And so, Jimmy took off her blouse, placing it on top of the jeans. Finally, she said, "Jimmy. Why don't you take off my bra?" Jimmy, reluctantly, took off her bra and placed it on top of the blouse.
She looked at her clothes, then to Jimmy and said, "Now, Jimmy. The next time you go into town wearing my clothes, you better ask permission first."

[WØTKX]

http://girloutofdixie.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/butter-my-butt.jpg

[N2NH]

I doubt it. I was once told by my boss I couldn't find my butt with both hands and a map...

[WØTKX]

Maybe this could help calculate the all important distance of the ball to the hole?

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/01/9ygeme3a.jpg

Just trying to help. :mrgreen:

[NQ6U]

I took that challenge. The photo I picked turned out to be a hole in the ground.

[K7SGJ]

I can't play. When I was little, my dad spackled my but shut.

[KG4CGC]

I can't play. When I was little, my dad spackled my but shut.

I'd expect that these days from the rightwing fright machine but I digress.

[HUGH]

Odd language difference, this is a butt:

13026

It has a hole where you hammer in the spigot. Say "Ouch".

[KG4CGC]

We call that a "bung." ^
Who's turn is it in the barrel this Saturday?