Somebody Gave Them the Bird

[N2NH]

Police in Portland Oregon want to know why the chicken crossed the road.


Ask police in Portland, Oregon, why the chicken crossed the road, and law enforcement has no idea either. In an unusual release, the Portland Police Bureau said officers were dispatched this week to a report of a chicken crossing a rush-hour highway in the city's Linnton district after a caller said the bird was causing a traffic hazard.
In a statement entitled in part "Officers Unable to Determine Chicken's Intent," it said police were unable to locate the bird, but that animals in the roadway were no laughing matter.

They also released audio of the tip-off, in which the caller assures a dispatcher that "this is actually not a prank call."
Police Spokesman Sergeant Pete Simpson said officers regularly tend to duck crossings, and have been known to rescue ducklings from storm drains. But he said it was the first time they had received a serious call about a chicken trying to cross a road.

Officers will remain on the lookout for the bird, he said.

Must be a slow day in Portland.


Why did the chicken cross the road? Oregon cops don't know (http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/08/15/us-usa-oregon-chicken-idUSKBN0GF22Y20140815?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=76)

Here's a police artist sketch.

http://i57.tinypic.com/amqsqr.jpg

[K7SGJ]

It should be obvious why. Life on it's side of the street sucked, and a new KFC just opened.

[WØTKX]

http://www.dispatch.com/content/graphics/2012/04/03/oikos.JPG


http://u1.ipernity.com/34/48/43/24554843.e1ba7823.560.jpg?r2

[XE1/N5AL]

This Internet find attempts to answer an age old question:

12926

[w2amr]

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRbuFILyQVPWMtPqokuRbGFivtWIuqyL eNGZqoqGsWiueV3bQVP

[NQ6U]

Must be a slow stoned day in Portland.

Fixed that for ya.

[N2NH]

http://youtu.be/CiywOTiRPkE

[WØTKX]

http://youtu.be/U7jFLVxOkJ0


http://youtu.be/U7jFLVxOkJ0

[W3WN]

Police in Portland Oregon want to know why the chicken crossed the road.

< snip >

Must be a slow day in Portland.
< snip >Eggsactly.

Either that, or the yolk's on them. Assuming, of course, that they now have egg on their face...

No need to scramble for a retort. I'll stop now.

[N2ADV]

I think it was just an excuse to talk about a cock in the paper...

[NQ6U]

I think it was just an excuse to talk about a cock in the paper...

Part of the Gay Agenda, no doubt.

[WØTKX]

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/490537_o.gif

[n2ize]

http://youtu.be/U7jFLVxOkJ0


http://youtu.be/U7jFLVxOkJ0

The Ramones were from Forest Hills Queens... one of the great places of the world. BTW they did a great cover of this song. Although the nobody can compete with the Trashmen...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gc4QTqslN4

[kb2vxa]

Peter Griffin's favorite song, and he drove everybody nuts with it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184

[N2NH]

I think it was just an excuse to talk about a cock in the paper...

Well, they're going to need two. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[kb2vxa]

A bushtit in the hand, two tits and a bush, or may the distelfink of paradise fly up your nose?

[n2ize]

Peter Griffin's favorite song, and he drove everybody nuts with it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184

That song was actually a tribute to Chairman Mao. That is what the line "Oh Mao Mow bah bah bah ooh Mao Mao" is about. I should know. I wrote it.

[N2NH]

http://i62.tinypic.com/2ebu51h.jpg

[K7SGJ]

Police in Portland Oregon want to know why the chicken crossed the road.



Must be a slow day in Portland.


Why did the chicken cross the road? Oregon cops don't know (http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/08/15/us-usa-oregon-chicken-idUSKBN0GF22Y20140815?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=76)

Here's a police artist sketch.

http://i57.tinypic.com/amqsqr.jpg

Perhaps you'll find the answer here:

SARAHPALIN : The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACKOBAMA : Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs theycan keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road tosurrender her eggs. Period.

JOHNMcCAIN : My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engagein cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARYCLINTON : What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGEW. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want toknow if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken iseither with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICKCHENEY : Where's my gun?

COLINPOWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of thechicken crossing
the road.

BILLCLINTON : I did not cross the road with that chicken.

ALGORE : I invented the chicken.

JOHNKERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken'sintentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

ALSHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won'trealize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the roadbefore it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What weneed to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on hiscurrent problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wantsto cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn fromhis mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the roadand not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSONCOOPER : We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowedto have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he'sguilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PATBUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHASTEWART : No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had astanding order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped toa certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DRSEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNESTHEMINGWAY : To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't youpeople see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'otherside.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat thatchicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until wesort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seeminglyharmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not becrossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody toldus the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARAWALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to thechicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienceda serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream ofcrossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHNLENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILLGATES : I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but willlay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of Chicken 2014. This new platform ismuch more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or didthe road move beneath the chicken?

COLONELSANDERS : Did I miss one?

[n2ize]

God knows why.

[N2NH]

http://youtu.be/HMd9F4knILQ