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N7YA
06-10-2014, 07:44 PM
I saw elsewhere in this forum, a few posts regarding fighting in baseball. Here is the breakdown on that...and i also expanded on competition a little.

Baseball fights = a bunch of guys running around and slapping at eachother, then getting carted off the field on stretchers, out 6 - 8 months.

Football fights = facemask grabbing and dance numbers.

Soccer/futbol fights = the teams stop playing and take a break while 130,000 people kill eachother and set fire to the stadium.

UFC fights = real...except for all that WWE shit leading up to it.

Boxing = trying to stay relevant in light of the UFC.

Basketball fights = lots of pushing, shoving and posturing, but when they DO hit eachother, its from 10 ft away because those arms are LONG!

Rugby fights = pretty much....

Hockey fights = been there 120 years, wont stop anytime soon. But the superstar, slick goal scorers should just....stop...leave the scrappy stuff to the scrappers, kid.


Some proposed ideas to increase viewership can include.....



Yachting fights = should have black powder cannons loaded with buck and 3 pounders, along with boarding parties. Winners keep the other yacht and thus, get the prize.

Horse racing = jockeys wear swords and shields. It will add to their weight, but lets see how it goes.

Golf fights = Awesome!!! (or would be, anyway)

Fencing = lose the protective gear, sharpen those tips and lets see what you're made of, sir!

Car Racing = Mad Max theme. Spectators pay their money and takes their chances.

Air Races = you do the math! Live fire Battle of Britain reenactment over some redneck airfield would be nothing short of AWESOME!

Track and Field fights = Blackjacks, Batons, short swords and few rules. The one who actually finishes, wins. No time limit on getting there. Limbs optional.

Olympics (both summer and winter) = Nothing short of a Roman bloodbath!

Chess fights = they will try to destroy each other from within. Once a destructive thought missle is launched, the player calmly presses his clock.

Beauty Pageant fights = drinks will be thrown, asses will be called fat, feelings will be hurt. The whole thing stops when the hair gets messed up.

Dog/Cat show fights = leave the animals out of this. Let them sleep, play or eat. The people who show dogs and cats are dangerous people! Let them kill themselves off!

Spelling Bee fights = After watching Charlie Brown go through that, the snarky trombone sound alone would make me aggressive.

and of course....

Battle of the bands!! = An epic battle of fire and might between 6 or 7 devastating armies, poised for destruction with sword and fire! There will be only one who emerges from the fire to claim the prize for GLORY!!

...and by that, i mean a small write up in the local rag and some free beer.

W9JEF
06-11-2014, 11:17 AM
.




"I went to a boxing match, and a hockey game broke out."

--Rodney Dangerfield (or was it Stephen Wright?)


Tennis fights?

KC2UGV
06-11-2014, 11:44 AM
When you brought up golf fights, the movie "Happy Gilmore" comes to mind lol

W3WN
06-11-2014, 11:48 AM
< snip >
Yachting fights = should have black powder cannons loaded with buck and 3 pounders, along with boarding parties. Winners keep the other yacht and thus, get the prize.
< snip >I've always thought that they should add that to The 3 Rivers Regatta as an annual event.

N7YA
06-11-2014, 01:42 PM
.




"I went to a boxing match, and a hockey game broke out."

--Rodney Dangerfield (or was it Stephen Wright?)


Tennis fights?

Tennis....forgot about that one.


Simple. The court has Claymore mines in random places. Lets make sports more interesting.

N7YA
06-11-2014, 01:43 PM
When you brought up golf fights, the movie "Happy Gilmore" comes to mind lol

Thats right!

And as mentioned...it was awesome!

N7YA
06-11-2014, 01:44 PM
I've always thought that they should add that to The 3 Rivers Regatta as an annual event.



Lets face it, like the cannonballs blasting through the sides of boats, viewership would blast through the roof!

WØTKX
06-11-2014, 04:08 PM
http://www.motherjones.com/files/polo_game.jpg

KG4CGC
06-11-2014, 04:32 PM
Motorcycle racing, video game "road rash" style. Racers fight as they try to pass. Weapons include things like pool cues and old fashion maces.

N7YA
06-11-2014, 04:48 PM
Its kind of expected.

Im thinking more on the line of Chili cookoff, sewing club, spelling bee, Livestock show, World series of poker, best flair bartender, cooking shows, Parcour, downhill skiing, figure skating....especially figure skating!

NQ6U
06-11-2014, 04:51 PM
figure skating....especially figure skating!

Oh, yeah—full contact figure skating! I'd buy a ticket to see that.

VE7DCW
06-11-2014, 06:50 PM
Oh, yeah—full contact figure skating! I'd buy a ticket to see that.

Full contact roller skating (ala "Roller Ball") ......I would figure would be a natural..... there's roller derby but if there was no chance of a participant actually getting killed in the sport it would really take the fun out of it! :mrgreen:

K7SGJ
06-11-2014, 07:43 PM
Oh, yeah—full contact figure skating! I'd buy a ticket to see that.

But would you buy one for high altitude, full contact, bungee fucking?

NA4BH
06-11-2014, 08:03 PM
Would 80 grit sand paper be involved?

K7SGJ
06-11-2014, 09:55 PM
Would 80 grit sand paper be involved?

Only once. But it's true, you rub people the wrong way.

N7YA
06-11-2014, 10:15 PM
That wont buff out!

NA4BH
06-11-2014, 10:36 PM
That wont buff out!

He'll be goosestepping to a different trombone when me and the wire lady show up at his door. Oh yeah, it could happen. Soon.

K7SGJ
06-11-2014, 10:42 PM
He'll be goosestepping to a different trombone when me and the wire lady show up at his door. Oh yeah, it could happen. Soon.

Ha ha, We can't afford any doors.

NA4BH
06-11-2014, 10:43 PM
Or spell check

K7SGJ
06-11-2014, 10:45 PM
Or spell check

More of a misiing space issue.

NA4BH
06-11-2014, 10:48 PM
More of a misiing space issue.


All right, get some missiing space check then.....................

K7SGJ
06-11-2014, 10:54 PM
All right, get some missiing space check then.....................


I had some, but it seems to be missing.

NQ6U
06-11-2014, 10:56 PM
Full contact roller skating (ala "Roller Ball") ......I would figure would be a natural..... there's roller derby but if there was no chance of a participant actually getting killed in the sport it would really take the fun out of it! :mrgreen:

No, it's got to be on ice and the participants have to be prepubescent pixies in those little flared skirts.

K7SGJ
06-11-2014, 11:01 PM
No, it's got to be on ice and the participants have to be prepubescent pixies in those little flared skirts.

The undies, don't forget about the fuzzy undies.

N7YA
06-11-2014, 11:59 PM
I had some, but it seems to be missing.


Its in



space .

n2ize
06-28-2014, 04:11 AM
Its kind of expected.

Im thinking more on the line of Chili cookoff, sewing club, spelling bee, Livestock show, World series of poker, best flair bartender, cooking shows, Parcour, downhill skiing, figure skating....especially figure skating!

Figure skate fighting was already introduce decades ago by Tonya Harding. I heard she enjoys hearing the sound of knees cracking. Unfortunately it didn't catch on. Ah well, the girl tried. These days she'd probably crack the ice the moment she steps onto it.

N7YA
06-28-2014, 05:16 AM
That was a nice attempt, but im thinking on-ice scraps, with scoring!