I Keep Saying I Want One of These. Why It Doubles as a Storage Bin.

[N2NH]

Just when you think you've heard it all, this makes it to the News...

***** NOT SAFE FOR WORK *****

Really it isn't.


In January, Kenneth Herold met Christina Lafave at a bar in the Wynn Hotel in Vegas. One thing led to another, and the 66-year-old ended up paying the 25-year-old Lafave $300 for a private massage in his room. Several hours later, at about 3 a.m., Herold called hotel security after he noticed that his watch, a $35,000 Rolex Presidential, was missing.

From the Las Vegas Review Journal:

Herold later would tell investigators that once he and Lafave had gone to his room, he disrobed and got onto a massage table that was in the suite. About 30 minutes into the rubdown, Lafave told Herold to take off his watch so she could massage his arms.

He put the watch on the ground within his view. Five to seven minutes later, it was gone.

Herold accused Lafave of stealing the watch, charges which she initially denied. Police searched the room to no avail. Eventually, Lafave admitted to taking the watch, which she told police she'd hidden in her vagina.

To retrieve the timepiece, police took Lafave to University Medical Center.

"Prior to medical staff assisting Lafave with the removal of the watch she admitted to them that she had stolen a watch and concealed the item in her vagina," a police report said.

Sorry no pics, but that might be porn in some areas...

Missing $35,000 Watch Found in Thieving Masseuse (http://gawker.com/missing-35-000-watch-found-in-thieving-masseuses-vagi-1555515379)<<<----Also NOT SAFE FOR WORK

[W9JEF]

.



I Keep Saying I Want One of These. Why It Doubles as a Storage Bin.

A major recreational area through which runs a waste disposal line.

Now that's engineering ingenuity. ;)

[N2NH]

Again, NSFW

Ladies, you don’t realize how lucky you are. If I had a vagina, I’d shove everything I own up there. Business cards, matchbooks, Jon Hamm nudie pens, whatever else I need to get through the day. But here I am, a dude, stuck having to wear pants with pockets like a sucker. The curious case of Christie only furthers my jealously.

An Oklahoma woman arrested Monday on drug charges had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina, according to police.

The weapon was discovered during a search of Christie Dawn Harris, 28, by a female officer with the Ada Police Department. According to a police report, the cop spotted the handle of the five-shot revolver “sticking out from” inside Harris, who is seen at right.

In a less shocking find, investigators also discovered plastic baggies containing methamphetamine lodged in the crack of Harris’s buttocks.


Read more: http://uproxx.com/tv/2013/03/news-anchor-cant-stop-laughing-at-woman-who-shoved-gun-in-her-vagina-meth-up-her-butt/#ixzz2zufwNSgl

Anchor Laughing. (http://on.aol.com/video/woman-caught-smuggling-gun-in-vagina-into-jail-517692701)
Follow us: UPROXX on Facebook

[N2NH]

Talk about handy... NSFW

Woman Pulls Gun from Vagina and Points it at Her Boyfriend (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/free/20140110new-mexico-woman-gun-vagina-boyfriend.html)

[N2NH]

Seems to be catching on. Catch a snack but don't blow yer eye out...

NSFW


Dallas Archer, 19, from Tennessee was taken to Kingsport jail by police after being arrested for driving with a suspended license.

As she was searched before entering the facility, a female prison officer was alerted to an 'unknown object' in her crotch.

After further examination, it was discovered she had concealed a loaded North American Arms 22 LR revolver in her genitals, according to a police report.

A subsequent check showed that four-inch weapon, valued at $250 had been stolen in 2013.

It previously belonged to 70-year-old retired car saleman, John Souther, who had it taken from his car, which was broken in to while parked at Kingsport carport.

When told where the gun had been hidden, Mr Southern said he would eventually like the weapon back but it would require a 'bath in bleach', according to the website Smoking Gun.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2611201/Teenage-girl-charged-police-loaded-handgun-hidden-genitals-prison-pat-down.html#ixzz2zui4tn00
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

[N2NH]

Another month, another Not Safe For Work story.

The 8 Weirdest Things Women Have Hidden In Their Vaginas (http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-04-06/the-8-weirdest-things-women-have-hidden-in-their-vaginas/)

[N2NH]

NSFW

This is beginning to sound like a new kind of space race...


A woman in Scranton, Pennsylvania was arrested on suspicion of burglary. After a thorough body search, authorities found an amazing array of items hidden in her vagina. Here is the full menu of vaginal contraband. Since the denominations were not announced (and for the sake of running up the score), the $55.22 were broken down into individual dollars and cents. In the race to turn body cavities into clown cars, this woman is winning.

The Top 166 And A Half Things Found In A Scranton Woman’s Vagina (http://www.buzzfeed.com/gavon/the-top-166-and-a-half-things-found-in-a-scranton)

USA1!! USA1!!

[hamguy]

Talk about handy... NSFW

Woman Pulls Gun from Vagina and Points it at Her Boyfriend (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/free/20140110new-mexico-woman-gun-vagina-boyfriend.html)Does that require a concealed carry permit?
-gary

[XE1/N5AL]

Next thing you know, HOA neighborhood residents will be using those things to conceal their ham radio antennas.

[NQ6U]

Next thing you know, HOA neighborhood residents will be using those things to conceal their ham radio antennas.

I want to see that done with a Beverage antenna.

[W9JEF]

I Keep Saying I Want One of These. Why It Doubles as a Storage Bin.

They have surgery for that. ;) :sick: :oops:

[N2CHX]

I can honestly say I've never stored anything in there.

[W9JEF]

I can honestly say I've never stored anything in there.

I have--repeatedly--but alas, hardly for more than an hour or so. :)

[N2NH]

I want to see that done with a Beverage antenna.

I actually met someone who might've been able to do that. There was a heck of an echo.:shock:

[wa6mhz]

probably needs a zipper installed so things don't fall out!

[N2NH]

Another month another story...


Authorities arrested the two women, both in their 20s, at Chicago’s Midway International Airport after they got off a plane flight from Montego Bay, Jamaica.
A drug-sniffing canine apparently alerted customs officers (http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-midway-jamaica-drug-smuggling-condoms-20140607,0,3514545.story) to the contraband with regard to one of the passengers, according to the Chicago Tribune. One of the women reportedly admitted to authorities that she was transporting about 149 grams of cocaine wrapped in condoms in her vagina. The coke has an estimated street value of about $19,000.
Officers reportedly found about the same amount of coke (http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/national-international/Women-Found-with-Condom-Wrapped-Cocaine-at-Midway-Airport-262251281.html?_osource=SocialFlowTwt_LABrand) in the rectal area of the other woman who was also on the same Jamaica-to-Chicago flight. Police have yet to disclose what led them to detain the second woman at the airport, however.

Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/1300751/two-women-busted-at-airport-with-cocaine-condoms-allegedly-in-their-vagina-rectum/#6iWhqECzQJaAL8Fi.99



Can there be any limit to the things a vagina can carry? :lol:

[kb2vxa]

Apparently not. Police have yet to disclose what led them to detain the second woman at the airport however, so use your imagination.

[KG4CGC]

Oh, is this thread back?
Vagina.

[K9CCH]

I'm confused... did you want a vagina, or a Rolex?

[KG4CGC]

Both. I'm assuming though.
I don't know. Might be pretty cool being a hermaphrodite that was also independently wealthy.

[K9CCH]

I knew a hermaphrodite once.

[KG4CGC]

And when some jackass tells you to go fuck yourself, you can brag.

[K7SGJ]

I knew a hermaphrodite once.

And here I thought she was a Greek Goddess. Who Gnu?

[N2NH]

I'd snap up the Rolex for sure. It'd be an interesting gift box. The Surprise Inside.

[K7SGJ]

I'd snap up the Rolex for sure. It'd be an interesting gift box.

But tough to wrap.

[WØTKX]

Really STOOPID thread, IMHO. :roll:

[N2NH]

Really STOOPID thread, IMHO. :roll:

I think it's amazing. I never knew just how handy one of these is. I could put my VX-6 there and it would always be handy.

[N2CHX]

Hermaphrodite is a pretty offensive term. Just saying. Not that anyone gives a damn.

[WX7P]

Really STOOPID thread, IMHO. :roll:

+1,000,000,000 internets

[KG4CGC]

Hermaphrodite is a pretty offensive term. Just saying. Not that anyone gives a damn.

Why? That is the scientific term for someone born with both male and female genitalia. What is offensive about that?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermaphrodite

[kb2vxa]

"I'd snap up the Rolex for sure."
Like a vicious little Jewish Princess
To specifically happen with a pee pee that's snapin'?
(Zappa strikes again.)

"I could put my VX-6 there and it would always be handy."
No, it would always be vaginy!

Hermaphrodite was a goddess,
A mighty goddess was she.
She was confused
'Till she heard the news,
Now he stands up to pee!

[K9CCH]

Have you seen this one?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6RZZf6HMzo

[N2NH]

"I could put my VX-6 there and it would always be handy."
No, it would always be vaginy!

And a bit fishy, but it's waterproof! :rofl: Can you imagine whipping the VX-6 out in an emergency? Hold this for me while I whip this out. Who would even need a whacker-mobile? It's a whacker-mobile in your pants.

Really; I find this fascinating. I think I'm a bit jealous. I have nothing like this (although they now claim to be able to make real vaginas in a lab, so there's hope). I can't believe how handy? vaginy? this is. Besides being a clown car for certain people with over 6 kids...

[N2NH]

Just when you think you've heard it all, someone takes a picture of something new!


An American exchange student was saved by firefighters after getting stuck inside a giant sculpture of a vagina.
The unidentified man reportedly climbed into the marble artwork in Tubingen, Germany, on Friday as part of a dare.
But, once inside, he found he couldn't get out.
Five fire trucks and 22 firefighters were needed to help slide the man — who'd become lodged in by his legs — to freedom.



and...


A giant stone sculpture of a vagina has stood outside Turbingen University in Germany for 13 years.
How the blazes has it taken this long for someone to get stuck in it?
Step up one American exchange student...

and...



Five emergency vehicles and 22 firemen are believed to have eventually eased the unnamed man out but not before someone took a picture and posted it on social media site Imgur.
The man, whose legs got wedged at the bottom of the art installation, was eventually freed and was said to be ‘really embarrassed’.
Erick Guzman, who took the images and posted them online, said: ‘I was there!!! He just wanted to take a funny picture.
‘The fire department was not really amused, and he was really embarrassed.’
The sculpture is by a Peruvian artist called Fernando de la jara and has been at the Tubingen University in the German town for the last 13 years in the Institute for Microbiology.

I nominate for a Darwin Award and a Dubious Achievement Award. Links in order of quote appearance:

LINK #1 Man Gets Stuck in a Vagina. (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/student-rescued-stuck-vagina-sculpture-article-1.1840184)

LINK #2 Man Gets Stuck in a Vagina (Unpixelated Image) (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/american-student-rescued-getting-stuck-giant-stone-vagina-092839823.html#za4RXdo)

LINK #3 Man Gets Stuck in a Vagina (Firemen looking bemused in image [is one a woman??]) (http://metro.co.uk/2014/06/22/student-gets-stuck-inside-giant-stone-vagina-4771752/)

I guess he's born again?

http://i57.tinypic.com/25s1rtw.jpg

[WØTKX]

http://www.rottenecards.com/ecards/Rottenecards_773310099_62qjq39m55.png

[N2NH]

NHE disagrees. She laughs at your assertion. Besides. There's pictures. God help me the day women stop talking about penii.

[WX7P]

NHE disagrees. She laughs at your assertion. Besides. There's pictures. God help me the day women stop talking about penii.

Sounds like NHE has spent a little too much time in Sweden...

[KG4CGC]

Again, why is the term hermaphrodite offensive? I want to know.

[N2NH]

Sounds like NHE has spent a little too much time in Sweden...

Actually she has spent none at all. She is quite a woman though and I'll be the first to admit it. There are times I think she's more Liberal than I am. Smarter? No doubt about it. :yes:

[N2NH]

Again, why is the term hermaphrodite offensive? I want to know.

I agree. I would too. Maybe I'm just ignorant.

WikiPedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermaphrodite#Other_uses_of_the_term)does mention that medically, 'intersex' is used, but that would seem to me at least, to be more offensive.

[WX7P]

Actually she has spent none at all. She is quite a woman though and I'll be the first to admit it. There are times I think she's more Liberal than I am. Smarter? No doubt about it. :yes:

1. WHHOOSH! The sound of my comment intent going way over your head.
2. Re: relative smartness. It's clear that NHE must be smarter than you based on your contributions to the content of this ridiculous thread.

[WØTKX]

http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/425827_348153965206408_261108877244251_1177049_170 9886486_n.jpg

http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/demotivation-posters-auto-343361.jpeg

[KK4AMI]

http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/425827_348153965206408_261108877244251_1177049_170 9886486_n.jpg

http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/demotivation-posters-auto-343361.jpeg

Damn, I hate being predictable. The first thing I did was look at my thumb and think HA! He's wrong!

[K9CCH]

Damn, I hate being predictable. The first thing I did was look at my thumb and think HA! He's wrong!


Cause its only two right?

[KK4AMI]

Cause its only two right?

Yah, Yah, that's right. On another note it does kind of make me wonder what getting "Two thumbs up" from Siskel & Ebert really means.

[KG4CGC]

Yah, Yah, that's right. On another note it does kind of make me wonder what getting "Two thumbs up" from Siskel & Ebert really means.

That was brilliant! I can see that in a conversation among people sitting around after a hard day's work and joking around. I'll give it, "Two Thumbs Up."

:shhh:

[WØTKX]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4JhvYMPvVQo/TrgyR8onpKI/AAAAAAAAAGA/7XjHVS1ByVk/s1600/IMG_8454.JPG

http://i2.wp.com/listverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/borat.jpg?resize=600%2C302

[N2NH]

1. WHHOOSH! The sound of my comment intent going way over your head.
2. Re: relative smartness. It's clear that NHE must be smarter than you based on your contributions to the content of this ridiculous thread.

Oh, yah, definitely. She's the smart one. In fact she's my better 3/4th.

[suddenseer]

Really STOOPID thread, IMHO. :roll:It is appropriately posted in Rumpus Room.

[N2NH]

Where ya gonna hide that crack?

Police: Woman Hid Crack Cocaine Inside Foil In Her Vagina (http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2014/07/09/police-woman-hid-crack-cocaine-inside-foil-in-her-vagina/)

[N2NH]

This really is NSFW. NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Really.

A 38-year-old Scottish woman who complained to doctors about weight loss, incontinence, and lethargy had a sex toy inside her vagina that had been in place for ten years, according to a report (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2704017/Surgeons-discover-5-inch-sex-toy-womans-vagina-10-YEARS.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490) in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.


Surgeons at the Aberdeen Royal Infirmary removed the five-inch toy, reporting that it had caused the woman near-life-threatening damage. She had a condition called vesicovaginal fistula — a passage that allows urine to flow into the vagina — the Daily Mail reports, as well as a obstructive uropathy, which causes urine to become backed up in the kidneys.


The woman said she used the toy one drunken night with her partner a decade ago, and that she couldn't remember whether she had removed it (she had not, apparently). According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, she can now claim the dubious honor of having held a sex toy in her vagina for a longer time than anybody else in the world. Congratulations!

(http://gawker.com/surgeons-discover-10-year-old-sex-toy-inside-womans-vag-1610124009?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow)
Surgeons Discover 10-Year-Old Sex Toy Inside Woman's Vagina (http://gawker.com/surgeons-discover-10-year-old-sex-toy-inside-womans-vag-1610124009)Like a vault. Only used less.


Nope. It's still there honey.

And yes! We have a winner.

[K7SGJ]

This really is NSFW. NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Really.

A 38-year-old Scottish woman who complained to doctors about weight loss, incontinence, and lethargy had a sex toy inside her vagina that had been in place for ten years, according to a report (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2704017/Surgeons-discover-5-inch-sex-toy-womans-vagina-10-YEARS.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490) in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Surgeons at the Aberdeen Royal Infirmary removed the five-inch toy, reporting that it had caused the woman near-life-threatening damage. She had a condition called vesicovaginal fistula — a passage that allows urine to flow into the vagina — the Daily Mail reports, as well as a obstructive uropathy, which causes urine to become backed up in the kidneys.


The woman said she used the toy one drunken night with her partner a decade ago, and that she couldn't remember whether she had removed it (she had not, apparently). According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, she can now claim the dubious honor of having held a sex toy in her vagina for a longer time than anybody else in the world. Congratulations!

(http://gawker.com/surgeons-discover-10-year-old-sex-toy-inside-womans-vag-1610124009?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow)
Surgeons Discover 10-Year-Old Sex Toy Inside Woman's Vagina (http://gawker.com/surgeons-discover-10-year-old-sex-toy-inside-womans-vag-1610124009)

Like a vault. Only used less.


Nope. It's still there honey.

And yes! We have a winner.


Jezzus, I would think she would realize the Yugo was missing.

[WØTKX]

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo, it time to troll this thread to zero! :evil:

http://youtu.be/JZpxaiNV_sM


http://youtu.be/JZpxaiNV_sM

[N2NH]

Jezzus, I would think she would realize the Yugo was missing.

I would love to figure out how this could take as long as it did, but either he's missing out, she's a very deep person or he's just too shallow.

[N2NH]

Okay, here's the drill. NSFW.


In a new segment titled “We may have problems, but at least we’re not jailing artists for 3-D printing their vaginas,” Jon Stewart blasted Japan for arresting Megumi Igarashi after she created a 3-D print of her vagina. After recounting Japan’s sexually explicit and objectifying television content (which includes game shows where women compete to stuff coins in their cleavage, apparently), and highlighting one town’s traditional Iron Phallus parade, Stewart remarked, “On the Japanese provo-meter, the vagina boat is practically a Disney World ride.”

Must see morning clip: Jon Stewart criticizes Japan’s double standards on sexuality (Video) (http://www.salon.com/2014/07/25/must_see_morning_clip_jon_stewart_criticizes_japan s_double_standards_on_sexuality/)

[wa6mhz]

I don't want one. I just want to play with one!

[N2NH]

I don't want one. I just want to play with one!

But when you have one ya doesn't hafta go far ta find one. And no headaches either. Handaches maybe, but no headaches.