N7YA
02-02-2014, 08:21 AM
I have been on the island only sporadically as of late as these last few weeks have been a bit of a bastard and a blessing...lots of really great up's and really bad low's. Its a bit long, but it helps me to write it all down. Please bear with me, it gets pretty dark so stop here if its not what you want to read.
I finally have a few days to reflect and recoup and can now explain. My bosses, a husband/wife team and long time, dear friends of mine, have been really making an impact in the Las Vegas market with the company. I was there when the company began and was their first employee. Jason and I have been like brothers since we were a couple of skinny, long haired kids in a band together in the late 80's. He is now a legit pro and solid company owner. As well as a world class producer with many acts on the roster, and an amazing guitarist. His wife, Trina, is a dear friend and kick ass photographer for the company. Ive stayed in their home, watched their dogs, travelled with them and trust them whole heartedly. Now that you have the back story on them, it will make more sense.
First, Jasons uncle, a Vietnam vet and all around awesome human being, passed away from cancer a few months back. With all the travel back and forth to see him in his final days, it was stressful but not unexpected. The man was at peace and happy with his life and impending death, that makes it much easier to deal with. Trina was supportive to him the entire time. Then our singers, Lyssa and Ted...Lys's brother died, that was rough, then Ted's grandmother. We sat with them and tried to help them through it, while trying to prep them to go out and perform at 100%...not easy. Then, a well respected local band leader and music director for a show at the place we perform, Jim Belk, passed away. He was a friend to several members in this band, and that was a bit of a shock. Then Lyssa lost another friend, a dancer who worked with her husband, Adrian, in the show, Surf. I didnt know him, but again...they were in shock as he was young, very healthy and in great shape. He just...died. Dont know why. Then Trina's favorite dog, Foxy, a sweet min-pin (one of the two that i watched over the years) up and died. That was a sad day in the Tanzer home. All i could do was give her a hug.
Everything up to that point was sad and shocking, but still workable. People were still able to function and perform their duties. We were informed that a corporate event was booked and the band would be flying off to New York City to perform at the Hard Rock Cafe main stage in Time Square. That was great news! But the day after Christmas, 12/26, i received a text from Jason saying that there will be a sub guitarist filling in for him locally because Trina's sister, Lisa, committed suicide in her Henderson home and to say he would be needed at home would be an understatement. We all knew Lisa, she was a successful attorney in town, we couldnt figure this one out. Trina was a mess, understandably. They had to sort out her affairs and make sense of it all. The story got more weird as questions started to surface...all this was very taxing to a grieving family who just wanted to mourn. All the extra drama was making this difficult. Trina was struggling and was having a hard time pulling herself together. So Jason took a couple of weeks off. The final week before his return, we were fortunate enough to have an incredibly talented friend of ours, Jeff Ray, fill in for the week. To call Jeff a bad ass would be an injustice...he has played with the best and played from another level. And an awesome human being and friend. The guitar spot was in good hands, at least that was covered. He was called in to do our entire show with 2 days notice. Our show is known throughout the pro circuit as one of the toughest to step in with, but Jeff loved that challenge. I had to cue him through the whole weekend, but he was always watching me. He later came up and said "Bro, you are awesome! Nobody has helped me like that before, you never left me hanging...you didnt just cue me, you gave me EVERY cue i could possibly need and didnt miss a step of your own stuff! You are a monster!"...that felt great to hear that coming from Jeff Ray! To earn his respect is a nice feather in the cap.
The following week, Jason returned. It was his first week back and he looked beaten down and sullen, but doing ok. He and Trina would be our reps on the NYC trip and they were both looking forward to the nice trip away. Trina needed it badly and we were all looking forward to seeing NYC and smiling for the first time in weeks. Trina spent most of her days crying and trying to cope, but she was slowly getting a handle on it. The sudden loss of your sibling is a hard pill to swallow, in addition to being VP/accountant of a company of entertainers all counting on her. Once Jason knew she was ok to get back to work, he came back and joined us for the final 2 shows before we departed, Trina took another band on the roster, The Jones, to a show up in Auburn, WA. A place we all have been to many times, a routine gig at the casino up there. The Jones was an all star cast of locals and all good friends. Every member of that band were the subs for our band when one of us needed time off. The band consisted of local touring pros from various acts like Chaka Khan, The Ojays and big production shows on the strip. Our buddy Jeff Ray was their guitarist on that trip. Then it went south....
Jason was to play the two nights, friday and saturday, with us, then we fly out to NYC on monday. He played friday night, we asked him how Trina was doing, he said he just spoke to her and she was doing ok, the trip was a nice reprieve from all the darkness back in Vegas. Then as i was relaxing before work on saturday, i get a call from him. "Are you sitting down?...Aaron Fuller will be filling in for me tonight, i need to get on the next flight to Seattle. Jeff Ray was hit by a train and killed". Now I was stunned! It hadnt set in...first i thought of Jeff, then immediately, Trina! Oh my god, she barely had time to recover from the death of her sister just two weeks before, now a dear friend and talented man in the prime of his life was cut down...on HER watch! He said she was inconsolable and he had to get there or she was going to kill herself. All i could make sense of was everyone chilling at the Ramada we always stayed in, Jeff went out for a walk before the show, like we usually do, and tried crossing the tracks next to the hotel. It hadnt even hit the local news there yet, for about an hour, i was the only person in Vegas, outside of Jason, to know he was dead...not even his own mother knew. He asked me to keep it secret until he could notify the next of kin (what a terrible thing he had to do) because it was going to be huge once that news got out in town here. I immediately sent Trina a text telling her that i wish i could just hug her right now, but i didnt hear back. I had limited details, but it said that he was with his girlfriend. I felt horrible for her, to see that!
I got to work feeling very low, the band had no idea. Then, five minutes before we headed to the stage, i got a text from Jason saying that the next of kin was notified and i may now tell the band...so i had that distinction. Letting four people know that a friend we had just seen a week before, had died horribly. It was hard telling them Jeff was dead, but even harder telling them how. As info came in slowly throughout the evening, it got worse...much worse. His girlfriend was back here in Vegas, the woman he was walking with was none other than Trina! It turned out that she had been reflecting on Lisa, crying all morning, and Jeff wanted to get her mind off of it for a little while. So he asked her to take some pictures of him with Mount Rainier behind him. They were walking to find a good spot, he had his arm around her, trying to make her feel better as they walked. He was making light conversation and trying to get her to laugh. They reached the tracks of the rail yard. The tracks closest to the road was where he wanted shots of him sitting down. The freight trains were loud and slow and could easily be avoided as they were in that spot picking up cars, but the track he chose to sit on was the Amtrak Express rail. Trina was 8 feet away from him getting ready to take the shot when a loaded Express train appeared out of nowhere, silently. It hit Jeff squarely at 80mph, he basically exploded into bits. But the direction it was going meant that Trina was hit from head to toe, full frontal impact, with his remains. She stood there, frozen in position, shell shocked in horror for about an hour.
Try to envision that...i have been trying to make sense of it for 2 weeks now.
A kid walking by (thankfully!) saw this and rushed over and stayed with her until the train operators could notify dispatch to get Fire & Rescue there ASAP. Jason was getting ready to come to work and got the call from King county F&R. He then had to call the bass player from the band to get over there to her like right NOW! He walked into a horror scene that Stephen King couldnt write. Jason's brother, Phil, arrived next. After a while, the FD told them that they needed to get her out of there as there was nothing they could do. The rest of the band rallied around her as they tried to cope with what just happened to their friend and bandmate. Five eternal and agonizing hours later, Jason arrived in Auburn. He notified Jeff's mother, then me, then he and a couple of the band members set about cleaning...Jeff...off of Trina and her belongings. :(
He told her that she was relieved of the duty of looking after herself effective immediately, she was ordered by Jason to do only what she was told and not argue. She was medicated and slept hard for the flight home the next day. Jason cancelled all the bands gigs and sent them home first, he stayed by her side all night. He cleaned her clothes and camera gear, hair, everything...then had to go to Jeff's room and pack his things. I cried when he told me that part as thats likely the time it hit me. That really got to him too. He got her up the next day, got her dressed and when they went outside to get in the car, he put her glasses on her and realized a horrible thing, he forgot to clean them. She was sinking deeper into PTSD...legitimately. Only combat vets go through what she had been through. (she is currently being treated for PTSD by professionals...last i heard)
Back home, it was sunday. I got an email that Jason and Trina would obviously not be making the trip to New York. This put me in charge of the band and the logistics until Jasons return, the band concurred and i set about scrambling to get everything organized. Aaron Fuller was called, his local gigs were cancelled and he was to meet us the next morning at the airport...saving the day! I opened a group text and email and tried to gather as much info about what we were going into as i could from two battered and heartbroken people who were becoming increasingly, and understandably withdrawn. Zero hour, i got all the info, stage plot, set lists, client names and numbers, flight and hotel info, etc...we were ready. The trip was hectic, sad, exciting, amazing and eye opening. We played in Jeffs hometown and it was one for the ages! We also arrived in the city just ahead of a wicked winter storm that dropped the temps down to 9 degrees with horizontal blowing snow. But Jason made me promise that we would try to enjoy the experience...for him, for Trina and for Jeff. We did, it was incredible, but lots of stress as i had to put out fires, make decisions on the fly as well as perform. Oh yeah, poor Aaron had this thrown in his lap last minute. He is now standing in for Jason for the next several months. Thats not all, once we got back, we had to go back to work at Harrahs the next day with another guitarist...who was also saddened by all this. Then it was Aaron again for friday and saturday. Jason became increasingly distant, like the guy in the airplane from the movie 'Contact'...a mystery. One line responses every 3 days. As soon as we had a day off, i had to get the band ready for a HUGE corporate event we were booked on. I cant even describe the size of the operation. Just massive! I was the boss there too. By that time, the band begun to look to me officially since Jason was unavailable, and Trina? Forget it, she was gone. I had to meet and greet, organize...basically all the shit i never wanted to do, but when i told Jason that i would do whatever i could to help, thats what he needed. He is busy being a true human being for the woman he loves. I have a level of respect for him thats hard to describe right now.
We had one day off, but i had stuff to do as i couldnt get to it due to the corporate, then it was back to Harrahs for the lead up to the Superbowl weekend. I am...tired. Emotionally exhausted. It started to get to me today as some dumb, drunk chick kept climbing up on stage and bouncing around, security was nowhere to be found. Old creepers were leering at Lyssa and taking pictures of her tits only, hater women leering at her because she has those big tits...all these idiots seemingly not noticing that she is a very talented singer and dancer who gives her all during a performance...nope. Tits! Not to mention, she was let go from Meatloaf's band because he was "threatened by her talent", so she was feeling down. Drunk douchebags, bad traffic, trying to hold a fragmented band together...none of this is anything any of us had asked for. So tonight starts 4 full days of relaxation, radio, movies, time with Devie...all things i really need right now. Hard to complain about anything with the suffering that is happening to the people around me right now, i never want to put myself in that kind of self-important place, but that means i tend to forget that it affects me too. My son is spending this sunday with his mom watching football as they are both Seattle fans, so tomorrow...i am going to officially fuck right off! :)
Thats a long and dark post, but i guess its therapeutic to write it out. And in comparison, or addition to what a few of my fellow Islanders are currently going through themselves...the best i can do is enjoy my life and always remember to be grateful for the little moments and those around me. I have been saying 'i love you' a lot more lately.
...thats why i havent been around. Here are some pics....
Here is the last photo i have of Jeff Ray and The Jones in the airport before heading up to Auburn...Jeff is the big white guy taking up the picture in the middle. Trina is off to the side. The last smile she will have for a while, unfortunately.
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Here is the massive corporate we just did at the Palazzo. And the MASSIVE stage..so you know what we were dealing with.
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And this is the backstage area. All this stuff ran the show. I dont even know what it all does...and this picture only shows one side of the room, there was this much gear to my right as well.
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And New York...i have developed a newfound love for that city. Lyssa, Teddy, a deranged looking me, and our newest guy, Aaron in midtown at Times Square and Broadway. I want to go back there again soon.
11579
R.I.P...Uncle Gil, Jim Belk, Gary Wright, Foxy Roxy, Tom, Grandma Z, Lisa W, Rob and Jeff Ray...that list is way too fucking long.
Thanks for reading and sharing in this with me. :)
I finally have a few days to reflect and recoup and can now explain. My bosses, a husband/wife team and long time, dear friends of mine, have been really making an impact in the Las Vegas market with the company. I was there when the company began and was their first employee. Jason and I have been like brothers since we were a couple of skinny, long haired kids in a band together in the late 80's. He is now a legit pro and solid company owner. As well as a world class producer with many acts on the roster, and an amazing guitarist. His wife, Trina, is a dear friend and kick ass photographer for the company. Ive stayed in their home, watched their dogs, travelled with them and trust them whole heartedly. Now that you have the back story on them, it will make more sense.
First, Jasons uncle, a Vietnam vet and all around awesome human being, passed away from cancer a few months back. With all the travel back and forth to see him in his final days, it was stressful but not unexpected. The man was at peace and happy with his life and impending death, that makes it much easier to deal with. Trina was supportive to him the entire time. Then our singers, Lyssa and Ted...Lys's brother died, that was rough, then Ted's grandmother. We sat with them and tried to help them through it, while trying to prep them to go out and perform at 100%...not easy. Then, a well respected local band leader and music director for a show at the place we perform, Jim Belk, passed away. He was a friend to several members in this band, and that was a bit of a shock. Then Lyssa lost another friend, a dancer who worked with her husband, Adrian, in the show, Surf. I didnt know him, but again...they were in shock as he was young, very healthy and in great shape. He just...died. Dont know why. Then Trina's favorite dog, Foxy, a sweet min-pin (one of the two that i watched over the years) up and died. That was a sad day in the Tanzer home. All i could do was give her a hug.
Everything up to that point was sad and shocking, but still workable. People were still able to function and perform their duties. We were informed that a corporate event was booked and the band would be flying off to New York City to perform at the Hard Rock Cafe main stage in Time Square. That was great news! But the day after Christmas, 12/26, i received a text from Jason saying that there will be a sub guitarist filling in for him locally because Trina's sister, Lisa, committed suicide in her Henderson home and to say he would be needed at home would be an understatement. We all knew Lisa, she was a successful attorney in town, we couldnt figure this one out. Trina was a mess, understandably. They had to sort out her affairs and make sense of it all. The story got more weird as questions started to surface...all this was very taxing to a grieving family who just wanted to mourn. All the extra drama was making this difficult. Trina was struggling and was having a hard time pulling herself together. So Jason took a couple of weeks off. The final week before his return, we were fortunate enough to have an incredibly talented friend of ours, Jeff Ray, fill in for the week. To call Jeff a bad ass would be an injustice...he has played with the best and played from another level. And an awesome human being and friend. The guitar spot was in good hands, at least that was covered. He was called in to do our entire show with 2 days notice. Our show is known throughout the pro circuit as one of the toughest to step in with, but Jeff loved that challenge. I had to cue him through the whole weekend, but he was always watching me. He later came up and said "Bro, you are awesome! Nobody has helped me like that before, you never left me hanging...you didnt just cue me, you gave me EVERY cue i could possibly need and didnt miss a step of your own stuff! You are a monster!"...that felt great to hear that coming from Jeff Ray! To earn his respect is a nice feather in the cap.
The following week, Jason returned. It was his first week back and he looked beaten down and sullen, but doing ok. He and Trina would be our reps on the NYC trip and they were both looking forward to the nice trip away. Trina needed it badly and we were all looking forward to seeing NYC and smiling for the first time in weeks. Trina spent most of her days crying and trying to cope, but she was slowly getting a handle on it. The sudden loss of your sibling is a hard pill to swallow, in addition to being VP/accountant of a company of entertainers all counting on her. Once Jason knew she was ok to get back to work, he came back and joined us for the final 2 shows before we departed, Trina took another band on the roster, The Jones, to a show up in Auburn, WA. A place we all have been to many times, a routine gig at the casino up there. The Jones was an all star cast of locals and all good friends. Every member of that band were the subs for our band when one of us needed time off. The band consisted of local touring pros from various acts like Chaka Khan, The Ojays and big production shows on the strip. Our buddy Jeff Ray was their guitarist on that trip. Then it went south....
Jason was to play the two nights, friday and saturday, with us, then we fly out to NYC on monday. He played friday night, we asked him how Trina was doing, he said he just spoke to her and she was doing ok, the trip was a nice reprieve from all the darkness back in Vegas. Then as i was relaxing before work on saturday, i get a call from him. "Are you sitting down?...Aaron Fuller will be filling in for me tonight, i need to get on the next flight to Seattle. Jeff Ray was hit by a train and killed". Now I was stunned! It hadnt set in...first i thought of Jeff, then immediately, Trina! Oh my god, she barely had time to recover from the death of her sister just two weeks before, now a dear friend and talented man in the prime of his life was cut down...on HER watch! He said she was inconsolable and he had to get there or she was going to kill herself. All i could make sense of was everyone chilling at the Ramada we always stayed in, Jeff went out for a walk before the show, like we usually do, and tried crossing the tracks next to the hotel. It hadnt even hit the local news there yet, for about an hour, i was the only person in Vegas, outside of Jason, to know he was dead...not even his own mother knew. He asked me to keep it secret until he could notify the next of kin (what a terrible thing he had to do) because it was going to be huge once that news got out in town here. I immediately sent Trina a text telling her that i wish i could just hug her right now, but i didnt hear back. I had limited details, but it said that he was with his girlfriend. I felt horrible for her, to see that!
I got to work feeling very low, the band had no idea. Then, five minutes before we headed to the stage, i got a text from Jason saying that the next of kin was notified and i may now tell the band...so i had that distinction. Letting four people know that a friend we had just seen a week before, had died horribly. It was hard telling them Jeff was dead, but even harder telling them how. As info came in slowly throughout the evening, it got worse...much worse. His girlfriend was back here in Vegas, the woman he was walking with was none other than Trina! It turned out that she had been reflecting on Lisa, crying all morning, and Jeff wanted to get her mind off of it for a little while. So he asked her to take some pictures of him with Mount Rainier behind him. They were walking to find a good spot, he had his arm around her, trying to make her feel better as they walked. He was making light conversation and trying to get her to laugh. They reached the tracks of the rail yard. The tracks closest to the road was where he wanted shots of him sitting down. The freight trains were loud and slow and could easily be avoided as they were in that spot picking up cars, but the track he chose to sit on was the Amtrak Express rail. Trina was 8 feet away from him getting ready to take the shot when a loaded Express train appeared out of nowhere, silently. It hit Jeff squarely at 80mph, he basically exploded into bits. But the direction it was going meant that Trina was hit from head to toe, full frontal impact, with his remains. She stood there, frozen in position, shell shocked in horror for about an hour.
Try to envision that...i have been trying to make sense of it for 2 weeks now.
A kid walking by (thankfully!) saw this and rushed over and stayed with her until the train operators could notify dispatch to get Fire & Rescue there ASAP. Jason was getting ready to come to work and got the call from King county F&R. He then had to call the bass player from the band to get over there to her like right NOW! He walked into a horror scene that Stephen King couldnt write. Jason's brother, Phil, arrived next. After a while, the FD told them that they needed to get her out of there as there was nothing they could do. The rest of the band rallied around her as they tried to cope with what just happened to their friend and bandmate. Five eternal and agonizing hours later, Jason arrived in Auburn. He notified Jeff's mother, then me, then he and a couple of the band members set about cleaning...Jeff...off of Trina and her belongings. :(
He told her that she was relieved of the duty of looking after herself effective immediately, she was ordered by Jason to do only what she was told and not argue. She was medicated and slept hard for the flight home the next day. Jason cancelled all the bands gigs and sent them home first, he stayed by her side all night. He cleaned her clothes and camera gear, hair, everything...then had to go to Jeff's room and pack his things. I cried when he told me that part as thats likely the time it hit me. That really got to him too. He got her up the next day, got her dressed and when they went outside to get in the car, he put her glasses on her and realized a horrible thing, he forgot to clean them. She was sinking deeper into PTSD...legitimately. Only combat vets go through what she had been through. (she is currently being treated for PTSD by professionals...last i heard)
Back home, it was sunday. I got an email that Jason and Trina would obviously not be making the trip to New York. This put me in charge of the band and the logistics until Jasons return, the band concurred and i set about scrambling to get everything organized. Aaron Fuller was called, his local gigs were cancelled and he was to meet us the next morning at the airport...saving the day! I opened a group text and email and tried to gather as much info about what we were going into as i could from two battered and heartbroken people who were becoming increasingly, and understandably withdrawn. Zero hour, i got all the info, stage plot, set lists, client names and numbers, flight and hotel info, etc...we were ready. The trip was hectic, sad, exciting, amazing and eye opening. We played in Jeffs hometown and it was one for the ages! We also arrived in the city just ahead of a wicked winter storm that dropped the temps down to 9 degrees with horizontal blowing snow. But Jason made me promise that we would try to enjoy the experience...for him, for Trina and for Jeff. We did, it was incredible, but lots of stress as i had to put out fires, make decisions on the fly as well as perform. Oh yeah, poor Aaron had this thrown in his lap last minute. He is now standing in for Jason for the next several months. Thats not all, once we got back, we had to go back to work at Harrahs the next day with another guitarist...who was also saddened by all this. Then it was Aaron again for friday and saturday. Jason became increasingly distant, like the guy in the airplane from the movie 'Contact'...a mystery. One line responses every 3 days. As soon as we had a day off, i had to get the band ready for a HUGE corporate event we were booked on. I cant even describe the size of the operation. Just massive! I was the boss there too. By that time, the band begun to look to me officially since Jason was unavailable, and Trina? Forget it, she was gone. I had to meet and greet, organize...basically all the shit i never wanted to do, but when i told Jason that i would do whatever i could to help, thats what he needed. He is busy being a true human being for the woman he loves. I have a level of respect for him thats hard to describe right now.
We had one day off, but i had stuff to do as i couldnt get to it due to the corporate, then it was back to Harrahs for the lead up to the Superbowl weekend. I am...tired. Emotionally exhausted. It started to get to me today as some dumb, drunk chick kept climbing up on stage and bouncing around, security was nowhere to be found. Old creepers were leering at Lyssa and taking pictures of her tits only, hater women leering at her because she has those big tits...all these idiots seemingly not noticing that she is a very talented singer and dancer who gives her all during a performance...nope. Tits! Not to mention, she was let go from Meatloaf's band because he was "threatened by her talent", so she was feeling down. Drunk douchebags, bad traffic, trying to hold a fragmented band together...none of this is anything any of us had asked for. So tonight starts 4 full days of relaxation, radio, movies, time with Devie...all things i really need right now. Hard to complain about anything with the suffering that is happening to the people around me right now, i never want to put myself in that kind of self-important place, but that means i tend to forget that it affects me too. My son is spending this sunday with his mom watching football as they are both Seattle fans, so tomorrow...i am going to officially fuck right off! :)
Thats a long and dark post, but i guess its therapeutic to write it out. And in comparison, or addition to what a few of my fellow Islanders are currently going through themselves...the best i can do is enjoy my life and always remember to be grateful for the little moments and those around me. I have been saying 'i love you' a lot more lately.
...thats why i havent been around. Here are some pics....
Here is the last photo i have of Jeff Ray and The Jones in the airport before heading up to Auburn...Jeff is the big white guy taking up the picture in the middle. Trina is off to the side. The last smile she will have for a while, unfortunately.
11576
Here is the massive corporate we just did at the Palazzo. And the MASSIVE stage..so you know what we were dealing with.
11577
And this is the backstage area. All this stuff ran the show. I dont even know what it all does...and this picture only shows one side of the room, there was this much gear to my right as well.
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And New York...i have developed a newfound love for that city. Lyssa, Teddy, a deranged looking me, and our newest guy, Aaron in midtown at Times Square and Broadway. I want to go back there again soon.
11579
R.I.P...Uncle Gil, Jim Belk, Gary Wright, Foxy Roxy, Tom, Grandma Z, Lisa W, Rob and Jeff Ray...that list is way too fucking long.
Thanks for reading and sharing in this with me. :)