N8GAV
12-05-2013, 01:13 PM
It's that time of the year, yep the day I dread, Eye Doctor Day. So I have been having trouble reading and seeing out the old glasses, wife had enough of me asking her what this or that is, so she made sure she was off to take me. I hate having my eyes dilated, bugs the crap out of me, after 4 or 5 drops in each eye and 15 mins. the exam begins. First thing he dose is put my face in a box thing where he tells me "Let me know when you see the two barns turn into one". I told him "I don't see any barn" "You sure",he asked? No barn just a fence and grass. "Oh hell I have you too low". He brings the table up a little I see the barns and let him know when I see one. Next he wants to take a picture of my eyes, "Look at the red star" "I see no red star Ed". ( Yeah know him well enough to call him my his first name, wife went to high school with him.) " Yep I got you too low hang on." Saw the red star then a BIG FLASH "Damn Ed that was bright"."Hold on sissy only one more to do". Now I am seeing spots, he wants to check eye pressure. "Well your pressure is a little high, but that's due to your HBP and diabetes,no glaucoma or diabetes retinopathy. Good it's over ! Now comes Lisa, the lab tech for new frames and so on. "Sit down you old Horse Marine while I get Bonnie" (Bonnie is the wife) To say Lisa knows me would be an under statement, her husband Rodney belongs to my legion post, him and I been on too many good drunks. Bonnie said "New frames he's had the old ones for 6 years or more and he's got them out of shape and I bet your tired of reajusting them" I like my old frames, they are light, look good on me, but they are wire rims and I have fell asleep with them on and so they are looking bad. "No problem I will grab a few and we will try them out" First one nope, next one nope, next one is a maybe, next one nope, then there is a that's the one! Hey Bonnie my glasses not yours I was thinking, but kept my mouth shut. "OK now you still want Transition Lens a little darker?" Yep, scratch prove lens, yep ok let me mark where your bifocal goes" Done with Lisa. Now to Bea and home. " $30.00 co-pay, lenes, insurance pays $100 you owe $92 for the Transition Lens," OK "Frames $200.00 insurance pays $165"........SAY WHAT! 200 bucks for plain old black frames? "Their Perry Ellis said Bonnie." "Who the hell is Perry Ellis?" I ask "He was a fashion designer." Bonnie said. What do I know about fashion, blue jeans, Marine Corps or Pittsburgh sports team sweat shirts or tees and Carhart jackets THAT'S what I know about fashion. "So some dead guys name is on the stems and that makes them worth 200 bucks?" "Shut up, pay Bea you cheap ass, and let's go to breakfast." I know that tone from the boss, "it's the don't press your luck or your walking home tone." So far today the only good thing was breakfest, which Bonnie paid for and she called me a cheap ass............