I am an email spammer...

[AE1PT]

Yesterday, I noticed a marked slowdown in the time it was taking to process incoming emails into Outlook from various accounts. A couple days ago, there was a message on one of my sent mails that it was refused due to blacklisting--the claim was that my dovecot SMTP server on my VPS was sending an 'unusually large number of emails.' My check of this was only cursory.

Last night I logged into my WHM panel. Christ on a crutch. The server was busily dishing out about 400-600 spam emails an hour--and attempting redelivery on TENS OF THOUSANDS of delayed relay messages. My X-PHP header quickly identified the culprit--a vulnerable PHP script in a user poll component on one of my Joomla sites. I had not used that feature for over a year--and had forgotten the need to keep these damned things updated.

It took a while to clear all of the 200K+ failed and delayed email notifications in my server root domain default mailbox. Seems it only let me do 1000 at a time. There is probably a config file somewhere to change that but I was far too frustrated to look for it. Cleaning out the dovecot outgoing queue of all those delayed messages was a lot simpler.

I figure in the 5 days that my SMTP was hijacked it pumped out between 500K-1M spam emails. Now I wait for the dust to settle, and determine which black/grey lists I will automatically roll off from--and which I will need to negotiate with the list managers. The most obvious lockout right now is being forbidden to send email to any Yahoo domain account. Given that venue's reputation as a spam generator, there is a certain irony there.

The moral of this story is that if you have any scripts, apps, or components running on a web server anywhere--keep them updated or delete them. You too could be get caught with your pants down pandering Russian women named Nastya that want to spread their goodness all over the internet... :irked:

[KG4CGC]

I was just saying, just the other day ...

[WØTKX]

I got slammed via a faked Yahoo server last fall. It was ugly. Yahoo techs had already found a culprit in PA, which started it, but after working with the information they found in my email headers, they found a fresh one in Texas.

All because a ham radio buddy sent me something (he was comprised first) that I clicked on... Considered him a trusted source, and still do. But it was a way to grab my Yahoo account and password. Took about 5 days to fix it, and months of apologies. Almost all that I spammed were ham radio contacts, some are still quite pissed at me because I am known to be "into" computers, so it was my fault, eh? Sigh.

Even with a lot of experience and decent protection, you can still get a wart on yer willie.

[NQ6U]

Pat is not fooling anyone with his "my server was hacked" story. The truth is that he's deep in debt to the Russian Mafia for all that online porn he's been buying and this is how he's working it off.

[WØTKX]

Large lesbians, prolly. :snicker:

[K7SGJ]

I haven't been hijacked yet, other than my Discover card. But if I do, I'm not worried about sending out a shit-ton of spamish emails. I have no friends.

[AE1PT]

Pat is not fooling anyone with his "my server was hacked" story. The truth is that he's deep in debt to the Russian Mafia for all that online porn he's been buying and this is how he's working it off.

Actually it's the Ukraine mob. They keep sending me these women, and I am supposed to send them $20K for each one. Unfortunately, they are easily broken and I end up having to discard them in a dumpster. I refuse to pay for defective merchandise. They say they don't care. Thanks for the idea though. Perhaps the Russian ones will hold up better down here in the basement.


Large lesbians, prolly. :snicker:

I really prefer the small, bone thin ones with domina personalities that hate men and are looking for an outlet to express that rage... :quiet:

[KG4NEL]

Actually it's the Ukraine mob. They keep sending me these women, and I am supposed to send them $20K for each one. Unfortunately, they are easily broken and I end up having to discard them in a dumpster. I refuse to pay for defective merchandise. They say they don't care. Thanks for the idea though. Perhaps the Russian ones will hold up better down here in the basement.

Liam Neeson is going to find you.

etc, etc...

[WX7P]

I really prefer the small, bone thin ones with domina personalities that hate men and are looking for an outlet to express that rage... :quiet:

Kinky...

[AE1PT]

Kinky...

Indeed.

[n2ize]

Pat is not fooling anyone with his "my server was hacked" story. The truth is that he's deep in debt to the Russian Mafia for all that online porn he's been buying and this is how he's working it off.

A person would have to buy an incredibly huge amount of online porn in order to go in debt over it these days. They have so much of that crap around these days they can hardly give it away for free.

[n2ize]

I really prefer the small, bone thin ones with domina personalities that hate men and are looking for an outlet to express that rage... :quiet:

I generally prefer very beautiful petite women who are very slim and have small breasts. I also prefer them to be of either the English or French persuasion, or to be very Euro . Intelligence is a must. I like an intellectual woman who has a graduate level degree and who has an avid interest and deep knowledge of one or more subjects and is talented in something, i.e.music, art, science, literature, etc.

[K7SGJ]

A person would have to buy an incredibly huge amount of online porn in order to go in debt over it these days. They have so much of that crap around these days they can hardly give it away for free.

No kidding, tell me about it. Can you spare an extra $100?

[N2CHX]

Joomla... There's your problem. What a shit CMS that is. I do not understand why so many companies love it so much.

[KJ3N]

Kinky...

Something about cattle and the Vatican comes to mind....

[KG4NEL]

- You said rape twice.
- I like rape.

[KG4NEL]

I like an intellectual woman who has a graduate level degree and who has an avid interest and deep knowledge of one or more subjects and is talented in something, i.e.music, art, science, literature, etc.

And then make sure the six different women you mentioned never hear about each other.

[NQ6U]

And then make sure the six different women you mentioned never hear about each other.

Lest they tan your scrotum and make a wallet out of it.

[KJ3N]

- You said rape twice.
- I like rape.

Said Richard Mourdock and Todd Akin.

[K7SGJ]

Lest they tan your scrotum and make a wallet out of it.

Or in some cases, a little coin purse.

[NQ6U]

Or in some cases, a little coin purse.

Or, in others, a kayak cover.

[KG4NEL]

Said Richard Mourdock and Todd Akin.

I have a feeling they both watched that movie for political advice, too...

[K7SGJ]

Or, in others, a kayak cover.

I didn't know that. I guess it's a canoe one on me.

[KG4NEL]

Or a coxed eight.

[NQ6U]

I didn't know that. I guess it's a canoe one on me.

You mast have missed it somewhere alongshore the line.

[K7SGJ]

You mast have missed it somewhere alongshore the line.

Yeah, it can be a beach at times.

[NQ6U]

Yeah, it can be a beach at times.

The schooner you get with the program, the better.

[K7SGJ]

The schooner you get with the program, the better.

No ship.

[NQ6U]

No ship.

Wouldn't you rudder do that than be a little dinghy?

[K7SGJ]

Wouldn't you rudder do that than be a little dinghy?

I guess I should just let that one sail past because I must be mizzen something.

[NQ6U]

I guess I should just let that one sail past because I must be mizzen something.

Well, you can't ketch 'em yawl.

[NA4BH]

That's tacky.

[K7SGJ]

Well, you can't ketch 'em yawl.

Well, to be honest, I haven't caught any yacht. So it goes with one.....liners.

[NQ6U]

That's tacky.

I know. It wears on you after a while

(that's a really obscure one, I know)

[NA4BH]

You should bilge a new boat, get rid of that junk you have.

[K7SGJ]

You should bilge a new boat, get rid of that junk you have.

I plan to, I have a whole raft of choices.

[NQ6U]

Well, to be honest, I haven't caught any yacht. So it goes with one.....liners.

We can just skiff it.

[NA4BH]

Never throw your anchors aweigh, recycle them.

[K7SGJ]

Please take that scow off your face, and don't barge in here thinking everything is hunky..........dory.

[NA4BH]

When we needed an anchorman for the tug of war, we would pick Tom third and Danforth.

[NQ6U]

Please take that scow off your face, and don't barge in here thinking everything is hunky..........dory.

Don't worry about Bob. His barque is worse that his bight.

[K7SGJ]

Don't worry about Bob. His barque is worse that his bight.

But he does get testy when there is no port left.

[NA4BH]

You can get stern with me but I will not bow to you. Scuttle the idea.

[NQ6U]

But he does get testy when there is no port left.

He can be gaff prone. One of these days he's going to end up in the brig.

[K7SGJ]

You can get stern with me but I will not bow to you. Scuttle the idea.

You're thankless, like a starboard with his fans, right?

[NQ6U]

You're thankless, like a starboard with his fans, right?

He always wants to be the centerboard of attention.

[K7SGJ]

Makes me want to keel over.

[NA4BH]

Well the last cruise I was on, there was some one from Hollywood there. They let the starboard first, this sent me wheeling until I found out they were sick and needed to see the dock.

[K7SGJ]

Well the last cruise I was on, there was some one from Hollywood there. They let the starboard first, this sent me wheeling until I found out they were sick and needed to see the dock.

Did you see that lady purser lips when he got sick, oar did you miss the boat on that one.

[NA4BH]

I also heard of a Pron cruise, they had a sextant set up for auditions.

[NQ6U]

It probably had something to do with pier pressure.

[K7SGJ]

It probably had something to do with pier pressure.

It ended up being a pleasure cruise.

[NA4BH]

There were a lot of high ranking Marines at the parade last week along with some lower ranking troops. I think they were called submarines.

[K7SGJ]

I hear they are full of seamen.

[NQ6U]

It ended up being a pleasure cruise.

Only after astern warning.

[NA4BH]

I often wonder how people in periscope with the weather.

[NQ6U]

I also heard of a Pron cruise, they had a sextant set up for auditions.

And people belaying all over it.

[K7SGJ]

Only after astern warning.

I heard the Swedish engineer was trying to find the right size pistons for the engine, when he grabbed a couple and said diesel fitter.

[NQ6U]

I heard the Swedish engineer was trying to find the right size pistons for the engine, when he grabbed a couple and said diesel fitter.

Oh, the hull you say!

[K7SGJ]

And about those flags, what the semaphore?

[NQ6U]

And about those flags, what the semaphore?

You jibing me? Screw that.

[NA4BH]

A local restaurant advertised they had a deep draft glass for their beer. I wonder what displacement? I can't figure it out.

[K7SGJ]

You jibing me? Screw that.

Talk like that, and they'll have to prop you up.

[NQ6U]

Talk like that, and they'll have to prop you up.

If they try that sheet, I'll lower the boom on them.

[K7SGJ]

Jibberish

[NQ6U]

Jibberish

I think we've reached the bitter end. I'm pooped.

[NA4BH]

He decked you.

[K7SGJ]

Buoy oh buoy, me, too. I am no longer awash with ideas, or can I sink any lower. You guys have been a beacon in the night.

[NQ6U]

He decked you.

This thread has turned into avast wasteland.

[NA4BH]

If you'd run aground piece of sandpaper over it, it would shine again. Until that time, we're sunk.

[NQ6U]

If you'd run aground piece of sandpaper over it, it would shine again. Until that time, we're sunk.

Becalm, now. You'll chains your mind later.

[AE1PT]

This thread has turned into avast wasteland.

Yes it has and as the OP I am tired of this ship. I talk about spam, all I am getting is bilge water. It's time for me to get up out of my Barca-longa and belay this flotsam to make a report. So mates, unfurl your Blue Peter and hoist it about as we get underway.

Delayed rubbish has finally stopped coming back into the dovecot queue for sending later. It has been a day now that no further failed message alerts have appeared in the default root mailbox. Tomorrow I set sail to clean up the external rubbish--negotiating with several lists and services who have blocked or banned my IP. I could just swap to one of the other unused ones I have, but that takes time to propagate, and for all I know someone could have done a /24 on me...

So ahoy you Bombay runners, get a clew-line and stop acting dinghy. Can you fathom that?

[K7SGJ]

Glad it's fixed. Now your contacts won't flag you an email pirate. I'm sure you're jolly, roger?