Today's Puns

[NY3V]

I don't enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.



I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.



When chemists die, they barium.



Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.



I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.



I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.



This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.



I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.



I did a theatrical performance How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.



I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.



This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.



I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.



I did a theatrical performance How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.



I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.



This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.



I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.



I did a theatrical performance
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.



I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.



This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.



I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

[NY3V]

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.



They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.



PMS jokes aren't funny; period.



Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.



We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.



Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?



When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.



Broken pencils are pointless.



I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.



What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.



England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .



I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.



I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.



All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.



I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.



Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.



Velcro — what a rip off!



A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.



Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!



The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

[W3WN]

There's an echo in here.
There's an echo in here.

[N8YX]

There's an echo in here.
There's an echo in here.
Just add a Roger Beep and you'll be set! ;)

[WØTKX]

No echo here. Aflack!
























Yes, that is a fallacy. Giggle, Quack.

[kb2vxa]

Berry punny, highly inductive to hysteresical laughter. Tanks coil Fourier transforming my capacitance for humus.

[X-Rated]

Clint-on

http://leftcall.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/clinton-dnc.jpg

Clint-off

http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/clint-eastwood-chair-rnc-2012.jpg

[X-Rated]

"Teen Street" is fairly common in France. At least they say it's Rue Teen.

[HUGH]

We were hiding from a dinosaur and my friend turned to me and said:
"D'you think he saw us?"

[X-Rated]

He had a difficult time bouncing back from his bungee cord accident.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

[HUGH]

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Is a shotgun wedding a case of wife or death?

When the barber arrived the captain told the ship's company he didn't like crew cuts.

[X-Rated]

What's the difference between a Pygmy tribe and a girls track team? The Pygmy tribe is a cunning bunch of runts.

[X-Rated]

I used to kiss her on the mouth, but now it's all over.

[X-Rated]

Darrell: What's that green stuff you're poking up the backside of your pickup?
Other brother Darrell: It's sod, dummy.