Relationship

[KC2RPP]

Ok,

Well im back here on the forums again, and posting again....and you probly guessed what this post is about and some of you are probly rolling your eyes, and are like "oh geesh not another one of these threads from 'Rpp"

This one is different, this one has to deal with the feelings that people have for each other. My question is, why the heck cant people stay out of peoples buisness and have to try to control how they feel. Ok here is the story.

I have found someone that i really truly love, and i wanna spend the rest of my life with, and she wants the same. Her father doesnt like me (again, that seems to be a common problem). Now, i know what you all are thinking, how old is she RPP? That isnt important, what is important is, how come people have to try and mess with peoples feelings. The night that she told her father about me, she called me up in tears for almost 45 minutes cuz her dad flew off the handle and threatened to call the cops.

So basicly, heres the situation, her father had gotten ahold of her laptop, and basicly blocked off all avenues of commmunitcation between us. My question is, if it is really true love, will we each still find a way to communicate with each other?

If we do find a way to keep in touch, do you think our relationship will still work out the same?

The last words i remember her saying to me are "I gotta go for a bit Guy, i love you, always and forever".

I even wrote a poem for her, but her dad found the poem, and again he went crazy over that too, oll share that a little later, but anyways, why are there assholes that have to try to control peoples feelings?

On a last night, i have reasonable doubt to believe that her father is abusing her, but i never have yet gotten her to actually come out and say he is, she wants out of her fathers hous, but had said she cant cuz she has no place else to go. .


last note, she lives in canada, 2 and a half hours away from me....

[N2CHX]

Do you really want an honest answer or do you want your ear tickled? Cuz between my own life and my 21 year old daughter's life I have a lot of experience in this area. I'll let you know now -- yer not gonna like my honest answer but my honest answer will probably save you years of heartache if you at least take it into consideration.

[N8YX]

There's a Benny Mardonis song dancing through my head at the moment...

[W2NAP]

well... how old is she?

[N2CHX]

I'm gonna make it simple...

A) She still lives under her father's roof, so IT IS his business, particularly if she's underage, which I'm guessing she is.
B) Her father probably paid for that laptop and he no doubt pays the internet bill too.
C) Her father has good reason to be wary of older guys around his daughter, as all fathers do. If he didn't care, I wouldn't have any respect for him.
D) PAY ATTENTION TO THIS ONE -- If she's as young as I'm guessing she is, she will use you as a means to get out from under "mean old dad who spoils all my fun"'s roof. And she'll then expect you to take care of her. And it could get uglier than that. If you knock her up, don't expect it to last. Don't say it won't happen either. And then you're going to be paying child support for the next 21 years (if the case is heard in NY, yep, 21 years not 18 . And worse, if she decides she hates you, expect her to turn that "my father abuses me" thing into "my ex-boyfriend abused me." DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!! Sure, not every girl does this, but I've seen it happen. Like firsthand. More than once. Your life will be hell for the next 21 years. So my advice would be...... stop thinking with your dick and RUN!

[kb2vxa]

You misunderstand the situation, it's not about minding one's own business or messing with someone's feelings, it's all about control. He's "protecting" his daughter, an all time classic I have experienced a few times myself. Older and wiser now I see it for what it is and impart this wisdom to you who and please don't mind my saying you appear to be young and naive. There's always hope everlasting, if he's as overbearing as you say she's fed up and when she turns 18 she'll be out on her own and fair game. Just be prepared for some fierce competition if she's all you say she is. You'll be older and wiser too and with any luck happily married to her, you'll look back and laugh.

Kelli, gotta love ya! Knowing a bit about you I can imagine your answer as I sit here with a shit eating grin... slowly developing into an evil grin with horns.

Uh oh, Kelli replied as I was writing and guess what... my thoughts entirely only stated differently. Now HOW did I ever guess? Well, there are always two sides to a coin and I'm Pollyanna.

[N8YX]

Kelli gives spot-on advice. You would be wise to heed it.

[KC2UGV]

I'm gonna make it simple...

A) She still lives under her father's roof, so IT IS his business, particularly if she's underage, which I'm guessing she is.
B) Her father probably paid for that laptop and he no doubt pays the internet bill too.
C) Her father has good reason to be wary of older guys around his daughter, as all fathers do. If he didn't care, I wouldn't have any respect for him.
D) PAY ATTENTION TO THIS ONE -- If she's as young as I'm guessing she is, she will use you as a means to get out from under "mean old dad who spoils all my fun"'s roof. And she'll then expect you to take care of her. And it could get uglier than that. If you knock her up, don't expect it to last. Don't say it won't happen either. And then you're going to be paying child support for the next 21 years (if the case is heard in NY, yep, 21 years not 18 . And worse, if she decides she hates you, expect her to turn that "my father abuses me" thing into "my ex-boyfriend abused me." DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!! Sure, not every girl does this, but I've seen it happen. Like firsthand. More than once. Your life will be hell for the next 21 years. So my advice would be...... stop thinking with your dick and RUN!

^^^^

That.

That kind of drama is drama you don't want, and don't need.

[NQ6U]

Kelli hit that one out of the park Listen to her.

[KJ3N]

There's a Benny Mardonis song dancing through my head at the moment...

You too, eh?

[W2NAP]

Kelli hit that one out of the park Listen to her.

sure did.

[KJ3N]

Teenage drama.... :roll:

Another one for the list....

[N2CHX]

Teenage drama.... :roll:

Another one for the list....

List? Is this like a grumpy old man list or something? :twisted:

[NQ6U]

List? Is this like a grumpy old man list or something? :twisted:

Yeah! Now get off our lawn, kid!

[KC2RPP]

Well, i guess the vote is unanimous on this one, Kellies reply wins. Thanks, im glad that i could look up to my older, and more wiser baked hams for the advice that i needed.

[N8YX]

Well, i guess the vote is unanimous on this one, Kellies reply wins. Thanks, im glad that i could look up to my older, and more wiser baked hams for the advice that i needed.
There are a metric shit-ton of girls around your age who are available and willing.

Visit any of the following:

OKCupid
Match
PlentyOfFish

Put a decent profile together, set the age range desired for a match as 19-26...then stand back and watch the choices roll in.

I purposely omitted the "hookup" sites, figuring you might want something a little more permanent. If you're just looking to sow wild oats, hit up Fling or Adult Friend Finder. You'll be up to your ass in cougars in no time flat.

[N2CHX]

If you're just looking to sow wild oats, hit up Fling or Adult Friend Finder. You'll be up to your ass in cougars in no time flat.

Rarrrrrrrrr! :lol:

[W2NAP]

lol

[KJ3N]

If you're just looking to sow wild oats, hit up Fling or Adult Friend Finder. You'll be up to your ass in cougars in no time flat.

:rofl: :rofl:

[WØTKX]

Cougar claws can be quite err.... soothing. :evil:

[PA5COR]

Without knowing all details let me put my life for you.

I met my wife when i was 28 she was just 16...next month we wil be 25 years married.
I refused to let her live with me till she did finish school and got her diploma.
When she was 18 she came to live with me, understandable her parents weren't exited when they heard about our relation, but i went over and had some serious talks with them, and believe me they were not easy...

Being 28 and almost 12 years older i had the responsibility to show sense and not ruin her life nor mine so i set steps and see how far the love went and how long, most people around us that were friends gave it 1 year max. she's 48 next week and i will be 60 in August... and still together while all my and her friends separated in that time.

After we came to live together i pushed her to go back to school and get higher education paying that from my wages.
That was deliberate, if we should split then she should have a decent higher education and be able to find work easy.
Our son will be 25 in July, and was born when my wife was 23, our relation already lasted 7 years then before we decided we were ready for children.

When you fall in love most people leave sense at the front door, you need to mix both, and listen to people like here that have some more life experience, i know that is difficult, because most of the time it is not the advise you want to hear....

My case was the exception, we had some trouble in our relation as well, as all married couples have, but being old fashioned i don't give up when the first hurdle comes.
Life is not all roses and sunshine, the hard times decide with your actions and self sacrifice how your relation works out.

For me going into a marriage is something not to be taken lightly, certainly if kids come out in the equation. it is both your responsibility to take care of them, for the rest of your life, don't take it too easy....
In the end it worked out for us, but i can give you lots of examples of failed cases as well, it all depends if you take responsibility and think things out before you go on in an relation and be honest about the relation and put of the rose tinted glasses.

My wife had no problems with her parents which became my best friends over time.
Looking at your story it's a recipe for disaster if you are not brutally honest to yourself.

Wishing you all the luck in life though, ;)

[AB5S]

Like someone said; stop thinking with your pecker and use your head.
There THREE AND A HALF BILLION women in the world, son.
There ain't no shortage of them and every one of them has one.
A very large part of that number come without the obvious land mines
and ticking time-bombs of this underage rebellious teenager in Canada.
Is she really telling you she's "abused," or are you
wishing you could hear it so you will have an excuse
to go charging up there and save her from the mean old pervert?
That's an old trick. Don't be a fool. Her dad did you a favor by providing
an out: "We can't communicate anymore." Say "goodbye" and move on.
I know you won't; young men's brains are forever stuck just below
their belt buckle- but at least you were warned when
you finally stop and look at the smoldering wreck of your life.
The Almighty grant that it's salvageable and a lesson learned.

[KC2RPP]

Well,

Coming back, and listening to what all of the new responses today. Im willing to give this thing a try, because she really loves me and i really love her, and well, i listen to her, and im not saying that her father is abusing her, im just saying that i have a feeling that he is, because they get into a lot of fights.

Im not going to go into the details of all of the abuse, when i talk to her later, im going to bring her here and have her sign up on the site, because she is interested in Amateur radio, so please dont be too harsh. Once i bring her here, you all can ask her whatever questions you have that are burning in your mind, which i know you all will have some.

[W2NAP]

how old is she? and how old are you?

[K7SGJ]

Cue the can-o-worms.

[KC2RPP]

We will wait till she gets here, im not sure if she will want me telling a bunch of people she dont know how old she is, but regardless of how old she is, im bringing her here because she is interested in Amateur radio, because she likes the idea of being able to talk all over the world to new people for free.

[N8YX]

Cue the can-o-worms.
I was thinking more along the lines of the Failboat.

[N2CHX]

I was thinking more along the lines of the Failboat.
http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2008/7/28/comefailawayc128617457176149145.jpg

[K7SGJ]

http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2008/7/28/comefailawayc128617457176149145.jpg


That's kind of hard on the dinghy thingy.

[KC2RPP]

Now guys....keep the humor a little low....she coming soon....

[N8YX]

Now guys....keep the humor a little low....she coming soon....

Her dad know about this? :shifty:

[N2CHX]

Now guys....keep the humor a little low....she coming soon....

Since I'm not a guy I'll keep the humor at whatever level I want then.

[KJ3N]

http://stoptalk.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/lol-cats_the-fail-is-strong.jpg

[N2CHX]

http://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr22/jailhouse_08/Fail%20Pics/JAILBAIT.png

[N2CHX]

http://image3.naschenweng.info/media/blogs/a/lifestyle/humor/fridaypicture/jailbait6.jpg

[KJ3N]

http://image3.naschenweng.info/media/blogs/a/lifestyle/humor/fridaypicture/jailbait6.jpg

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[KC2RPP]

Now guys, her father dont know nothing :S

[N2CHX]

http://cbeckcdn.appspot.com/jailbait/images/under13.jpg

[W2NAP]

can of worms = opened.

RPP not sure why you are so against just saying the age really. to me is seems like your hiding it. course i have no clue how old you are. hopefully its nothing illegal here.

[KJ3N]

http://cbeckcdn.appspot.com/jailbait/images/under13.jpg

Oh, now that's just plain sick. Congratulations, you've just been awarded the....

http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/thumb/b/ba/Pedo-bear-seal-of-approval.png/618px-Pedo-bear-seal-of-approval.png

[N2CHX]

Oh, now that's just plain sick. Congratulations, you're just been awarded the....

http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/thumb/b/ba/Pedo-bear-seal-of-approval.png/618px-Pedo-bear-seal-of-approval.png



:lol:

[W2NAP]

Hanson is waiting

[KC2RPP]

can of worms = opened.

RPP not sure why you are so against just saying the age really. to me is seems like your hiding it. course i have no clue how old you are. hopefully its nothing illegal here.


Its nothing illegal, were not doing anything that is illegal, just chatting and stuff, no sexual stuff or anything. She is 13 and im 21, ok, i told u guys not, its only a 8 year difference, nothing gonna happen till she 18.

[K7SGJ]

Time for Sister Keli again....

[W2NAP]

Its nothing illegal, were not doing anything that is illegal, just chatting and stuff, no sexual stuff or anything. She is 13 and im 21, ok, i told u guys not, its only a 8 year difference, nothing gonna happen till she 18.

houston we have a problem.

listen to us dude. if she is 13. then she has no clue what she wants. your messing with fire dude you really are.

[KJ3N]

houston we have a problem.

listen to us dude. if she is 13. then she has no clue what she wants. your messing with fire dude you really are.

http://www.epicfail.com/images/darth-vader-epic-fail.jpg

[N2CHX]

Wow. Suddenly this isn't funny anymore. :oops:

I was thinking 17, maybe 16 youngest.

You need an intervention, seriously. Do you REALLY wonder why her father told you to GTFO? Really?

[KC2RPP]

houston we have a problem.

listen to us dude. if she is 13. then she has no clue what she wants. your messing with fire dude you really are.

That is why we never commited to anything, we are only talking right now, and you cant get in trouble for just chatting with someone. I know, she is interested in amateur radio, and thats why i wanna bring her here, because i know you guys can educate her about the hobby better than i can, it be cold day in hell before i took her to QRZ.

[W2NAP]

well post #1 you say this "I have found someone that i really truly love, and i wanna spend the rest of my life with, and she wants the same"

how do you really know this? she honestly has no clue what she wants in life. and she is 5 years from being legal (not sure what NY calls legal but under Indiana law 16+ is legal so even in 3 years lots would change) and alot will change in those 5 years.

[N2CHX]

well post #1 you say this "I have found someone that i really truly love, and i wanna spend the rest of my life with, and she wants the same"

how do you really know this? she honestly has no clue what she wants in life. and she is 5 years from being legal (not sure what NY calls legal but under Indiana law 16+ is legal so even in 3 years lots would change) and alot will change in those 5 years.

17 in NY. And... What you just said!

[K7SGJ]

Yeah, I just reread post one as well. Man, what a deal. Not only would I be very very careful as to the kind of relationship you develop with her, I'd be extremely careful about the public accusations/comments you make about her dad. That could come back to bite you in the ass big time.

I'm kind of curious, and if it's too personal just ignore the question, but where does a 21 yo US guy meet a 13 yo Canadian girl, and get to know each other well enough to maybe fall in love?

[WØTKX]

Keep it unrequited. Quite!

:hand:

[NA4BH]

but where does a 21 yo US guy meet a 13 yo Canadian girl, and get to know each other to maybe fall in love?

Let me take this one: ON LINE

[K7SGJ]

Let me take this one: ON LINE



But but but..

[W2NAP]

why do I get the feeling were watching an international incident begin right before us.

[WØTKX]

Hopefully, advice will be heeded,
With no intervention needed.

Run away, walking is not fast enough.

[N8YX]

why do I get the feeling were watching an international incident begin right before us.
'KFM's daughter?

[NA4BH]

We'll serve 15-25 years for being accomplices. :slap:

[W2NAP]

We'll serve 15-25 years for being accomplices. :slap:

i dont want to be summoned into canadian court! if i have to go the USA prob wont let me back in and ill be forced to become canadian eh? and change me call to something like VE3IBC oh and change my domain name and emails oh god the pain the pain. nobody will have a clue what I am talking about! I wont understand them ether! cept for hockey..... i will confuse the canadians as they will spend forever trying to find joisey

[WØTKX]

At least you'd get health insurance, eh?

[W2NAP]

At least you'd get health insurance, eh?

don't need it. dont go to doctors anyway.

however id see more hockey on TV

[N8YX]

So....ummm...Guy, does the girl's father know she'll be hanging out here, and is he okay with it?

If 'yes' to the above, please PM myself or one of the other staff members his e-mail address; we will verify his agreement as a condition of granting her membership.

[ki4itv]

This is crazy! Guy, you are seriously flirting with disaster here.
You should take a step back and really consider where your going with this, I'd hate to see anything happen to you.
Bad, bad, idea.
Holy shit!
:doh:

[N2CHX]

This one is different, this one has to deal with the feelings that people have for each other. My question is, why the heck cant people stay out of peoples buisness and have to try to control how they feel. Ok here is the story.

I have found someone that i really truly love, and i wanna spend the rest of my life with, and she wants the same. Her father doesnt like me (again, that seems to be a common problem). Now, i know what you all are thinking, how old is she RPP? That isnt important, what is important is, how come people have to try and mess with peoples feelings. The night that she told her father about me, she called me up in tears for almost 45 minutes cuz her dad flew off the handle and threatened to call the cops.

So basicly, heres the situation, her father had gotten ahold of her laptop, and basicly blocked off all avenues of commmunitcation between us. My question is, if it is really true love, will we each still find a way to communicate with each other?

If we do find a way to keep in touch, do you think our relationship will still work out the same?

The last words i remember her saying to me are "I gotta go for a bit Guy, i love you, always and forever".

I even wrote a poem for her, but her dad found the poem, and again he went crazy over that too, oll share that a little later, but anyways, why are there assholes that have to try to control peoples feelings?

On a last night, i have reasonable doubt to believe that her father is abusing her, but i never have yet gotten her to actually come out and say he is, she wants out of her fathers hous, but had said she cant cuz she has no place else to go. .


last note, she lives in canada, 2 and a half hours away from me....


Its nothing illegal, were not doing anything that is illegal, just chatting and stuff, no sexual stuff or anything. She is 13 and im 21, ok, i told u guys not, its only a 8 year difference, nothing gonna happen till she 18.


Seriously, WTF are you thinking? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?????????????????????? ARE YOU THINKING? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!

You are going to get yourself into so much shit if you continue to pursue this. Don't just walk.... RUN! RUN GODDAMMIT!!! R-U-N!!!!

Run and don't look back.

If you don't, you will seriously regret it! YOU ARE NOT THINKING CLEARLY!!!!

[KC2UGV]

Its nothing illegal, were not doing anything that is illegal, just chatting and stuff, no sexual stuff or anything. She is 13 and im 21, ok, i told u guys not, its only a 8 year difference, nothing gonna happen till she 18.

Newsflash: If her dad doesn't want you associating with her, and you do, that's illegal. In fact, what you are doing could be considered "Grooming".

So, if I were you, I'd not walk away: I'd run.

[kf0rt]

All she has to do is breathe in the wrong direction and you'll be labeled a sex offender. Those charges don't go away. Ever. You'll be screwed for life and not the kind you're after.

Listen to Kelli. Seriously. If she were my daughter, there would already be a bounty on your head. This is beyond crazy.

[KC2RPP]

Ok, im taking in what all of you are saying right now, there is one other pperson that i need to hear from...gonna send a email to Kevin, cant ever remember his callsign.

[ad4mg]

Ok, im taking in what all of you are saying right now, there is one other pperson that i need to hear from...gonna send a email to Kevin, cant ever remember his callsign.

W7XF. He may be on the road, and Kevin is a good one to consult.

My personal advice would be to at least let things settle down for a while, Guy. Ten or fifteen years from now, the age difference won't be such a big deal. Right now, it's a show stopper, and there can be no good outcome to pressing the issue.

FWIW.

[W2NAP]

yea the odds are not in your favor. honestly dude not only are you barking down the illegal road. you have a better chance at hitting the lotto 4 times for 200 mil then it working out good and lasting for life.

totally not worth it

[NA4BH]

There are two choices: Get away from the situation or go to prison.

If you're looking to get laid, go check out some of the previously mentioned websites and hook up with an older woman. They'll fone ya, feed ya, and fsck ya. No fathers hunting you down, no strings attached.

[N2CHX]

There are two choices: Get away from the situation or go to prison.

If you're looking to get laid, go check out some of the previously mentioned websites and hook up with an older woman. They'll fone ya, feed ya, and fsck ya. No fathers hunting you down, no strings attached.

Hook up with one past menopause and you got one less worry still! My best friend who is a really hot schoolteacher in her 40's hooked up with a 25 year old last year. He f*cked her up down and sideways and she had the time of her life.

[wa6mhz]

Girls can cause ALOTTA TROUBLE, give you sleepless nights and heartaches, make U cry and sometimes feel like Jumping off a bridge. They make U do the DARNDEST things, like one little sweetie who messed with my head 40 years ago did.

But Girls are Alotta FUN too, which, in the end, seems to make it worth it all.

Or, you can get married and then all that fun is replaced with HAM RADIO for fun.

[N8YX]

Or, you can get married and then all that fun is replaced with HAM RADIO for fun.
Not true.

I married a good girl, turned her "bad" (albeit in a good way) and she now has a Tech ticket...soon to be General. :snicker:

[wa6mhz]

I bought my wife a new NAME/CALL badge to wear at Dayton!

[N8YX]

I bought my wife a new NAME/CALL badge to wear at Dayton!

Will we see you two there this year?

[NA4BH]

I bought my wife a new NAME/CALL badge to wear at Dayton!

That ought to cover you for a Christmas present this year. :rofl:

[N2CHX]

I bought my wife a new NAME/CALL badge to wear at Dayton!

Gawd! I'm a ham and a tomboy and even I think that's cheesy.

[N8YX]

Gawd! I'm a ham and a tomboy and even I think that's cheesy.
'DSG flatly refuses to wear a call sign tag in public. I had station plaques made which feature our calls but those are situated in a nice shadowbox frame...in the shack itself.

[KC2RPP]

Girls can cause ALOTTA TROUBLE, give you sleepless nights and heartaches, make U cry and sometimes feel like Jumping off a bridge. They make U do the DARNDEST things, like one little sweetie who messed with my head 40 years ago did.

But Girls are Alotta FUN too, which, in the end, seems to make it worth it all.

Or, you can get married and then all that fun is replaced with HAM RADIO for fun.


i need someone to talk to right now on instant messanger...any of the 3 i have, if anyone can, plz send me a pm, im crying my eyes oout right now, cuz of this now...

[N8YX]

D00d..in as simple terms as I can possibly state this:

5688

[W2NAP]

you know if this qso was on the 435 repeater here.. we would have been met with the jammer and his soundboard "well yew'll be gettin a visit from da eff bee eye buddy"

[K7SGJ]

Wow

[KC2RPP]

i dont wanna mess with this girl anymore, but im scared for what is gonna happen if i tell her im gone

[KC2UGV]

i dont wanna mess with this girl anymore, but im scared for what is gonna happen if i tell her im gone

Well, just tell her. Worst that will happen is she throws a temper tantrum.

You could call her house, and talk to her dad; tell him to let her know you desire no further contact.

[W2NAP]

also do not drop the soap!

[VK3ZL]

Ya know....I'm glad that in my old age my balls no longer rule my brain...

13 year old girls are still children in every way whether you can believe it or not...The fault is yours, and it is very plain to all that you, at 21 years old, need to grow up and show the maturity that you are obviously trying to avoid...What you need is a bit of time in a position of responsibility and stop being selfish and feeling sorry for yourself...Crying to everyone here is just a cop out and an unwillingness to face reality...Get real, shape up and be a real man....Later on you will be thankful if you take my advice...

Believe me, as a qualified social worker I have seen this too many times and know exactly what the outcome will be if you ignore the advise being given on this board...

Bob..VK3ZL..

[W4GPL]

I'm going to go ahead and close this thread as the OP is no longer available for comment.