Educated humor....

[w3bny]

chemist walks into a bar and says "barkeep, I would like a refreshing glass of h2o" Drunkie next to him says "I would like a refreshing h2o too" then he died.

two atoms sitting on a bench watching the tachyons flutter by. One screams in shock "AAAH I JUST LOST AN ELECTRON" "Are you sure?" "IM POSITIVE!"

Two chemists hard at work in a lab. "Pablo, is silicon the same in Spanish as it is in English?" "Si"

Argon walks into a bar. barkeep yells.. "Hey you, we dont serve your kind in here!" Argon was nonreactive.

Two kids walk up to there chemist Dad... "Daddy, tell us a funny story about potassium"... "K"


Thank ewe... Menudo is two for one today!

[kf0rt]

Where's Rotley when you need him to 'splain a joke?

[W5RB]

WB , Ren . LTNS.

[KC2UGV]

I spit coffee all over my keyboard lol

[WØTKX]

Gawd help, I "got" them all... Posted them at work, got a lot of "huh"? Oh well.

[ab1ga]

Where's Rotley when you need him to 'splain a joke?

Believe me, the more you learn about these, the more it's going to hurt.

[kf0rt]

Believe me, the more you learn about these, the more it's going to hurt.

I got just enough to conjure visions of a convention at a Holiday Inn. :hand:

[W1GUH]

A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

[w0aew]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6ZdI

[KG4CGC]

Should have asked for H2O also.

[w3bny]

A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

Saved....

[WØTKX]

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?



Because when they find the position,
they can't find the momentum...

When they have the momentum,
they can't find the position!

[KG4CGC]

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?



Because when they find the position,
they can't find the momentum...

When they have the momentum,
they can't find the position!
Because they look like this guy: http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/bebop5/Aliens%20Guy/b2e8d7a9.jpg

[NA4BH]

Because they look like this guy: http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/bebop5/Aliens%20Guy/b2e8d7a9.jpg

He looks a lot like this guy

http://www.basicfamouspeople.com/pictures/1736.jpg

[kb2vxa]

Hmmm, I see the resemblance there.

"Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?"
I think you were thinking of the uncertainty principle so try this.
Because when they know where it is they don't know when it is, when they know when it is they don't know where it is. Mostly the latter.

[W5GA]

chemist walks into a bar and says "barkeep, I would like a refreshing glass of h2o" Drunkie next to him says "I would like a refreshing h2o too" then he died.
He had a corrosive personality.

[NQ6U]

He had a corrosive personality.

More like reactive. Possibly bubbly.

[WØTKX]

Mad Dog! Mad Dog!

[w3bny]

Like a foamy badger...but with organic oxidizers!

[suddenseer]

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive.
In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative
is still a negative.”


“However,” he pointed out, “there is no language wherein a
double positive can form a negative.”


A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah. Right.”

[W1GUH]

Speaking of all these particles....

People who've had a PET scan have had anti-matter injected into their blood stream. the "P" stands for positron.

[ab1ga]

The antimatter isn't actually injected, but results from the decay of the injected isotope (F-18). But alas, it's life is short, as it undergoes annihilation with an inner shell electron right after it's emitted.

[suddenseer]

Considering what a PET scan costs, I would think those injectables would last a bit longer.

[W5GA]

Speaking of all these particles....

People who've had a PET scan have had anti-matter injected into their blood stream. the "P" stands for positron.
SO THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MURIKA! It's all the positronic brains running around...burn the hospitals!

[ab1ga]

Considering what a PET scan costs, I would think those injectables would last a bit longer.

Some fraction of it can last a good long time. The tragedy of radioactivity is that you only see it when it's not there anymore.

[W1GUH]

The antimatter isn't actually injected, but results from the decay of the injected isotope (F-18). But alas, it's life is short, as it undergoes annihilation with an inner shell electron right after it's emitted.

Thanks for the correction.
Didn't actually feel any annihilation, yet, anyway!

[W1GUH]

Hear about the Lot Polish Airline crash south of the Grand Canyon?

What happened is a flight from JFK to LAX was flying south of the Grand Canyon when the Captain announced that if the passengers would look out the windows to the right, they could see the Grand Canyon in all its glory. Unfortunately, the flight crashed soon thereafter.

The official investigation by the NTSB attributed the crash to "instability due to too many poles in the right half of the plane."

[ab1ga]

Thanks for the correction.
Didn't actually feel any annihilation, yet, anyway!

Stay away from airports!

(My hospital actually gave me a little card to show law enforcement officials in case I got pulled over. Even though it was F-18 PET, with a half-life of two hours, they told me to hold on to the card for at least a week.)

[W1GUH]

You had your scan on a fighter jet? Very, very Cool!

http://files.air-attack.com/MIL/f18sh/f18sh_header.jpg

[ab1ga]

You had your scan on a fighter jet? Very, very Cool!

http://files.air-attack.com/MIL/f18sh/f18sh_header.jpg

<Groooaaaannnn....>

A ride in that thing would just give me a heart attack.

I thought the strangest part of the process was seeing the lead-encased syringe with the needle sticking out the end, talk about Rube Goldberg!

The most ridiculous part was the lovely blond radiology tech leaning over me during the infusion and telling me to stop wiggling my foot because the increased blood flow could ruin the data collection!

[NA4BH]

Where was your foot? :whistle:

[ab1ga]

My foot was minding it's own business, tapping out some random rhythm, and wasn't being fresh at all. I suspect she saw it while prepping the injection.

[NA4BH]

If you want to have fun with them next time, tell them you ate a Snickers bar on the way down.

[kb2vxa]

"The most ridiculous part was the lovely blond radiology tech leaning over me during the infusion and telling me to stop wiggling my foot because the increased blood flow could ruin the data collection!"

Somehow I don't think it was your foot.

[KC9ECI]

"The most ridiculous part was the lovely blond radiology tech leaning over me during the infusion and telling me to stop wiggling my foot because the increased blood flow could ruin the data collection!"

Somehow I don't think it was your foot.

A few more inches and it could have been a foot.

[ab1ga]

Perverts, the lot of you! :)

[W1GUH]

And damn proud of it!

[kb2vxa]

You got a big test to go, you need to be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-o, you need to be sedated
We'll just put you in a wheelchair get you to the room

Hurry hurry hurry before I go kaboom!
I can't control my fingers I can't control my toes
Oh no no no no nooooooo............

Actually I'm a trevrep, I tend to get things backwards.

[KC9ECI]

And defying all odds, as I open this thread, I'm plugged in to my ipod and but what should be playing? The Ramones, I Wanna Be Sedated!

[HUGH]

You'll likely have heard this one at skule:

Johnny was a chemist's son,
But Johnny is no more.
What Johnny thought was H20
was H2SO4.

[kb2vxa]

NOW I wanna be sedated!