TV listings

[kc7jty]

4702

http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/3712/fatloss.png

Here's one (Fat Loss for Food Lovers) that I'm sure will be appealing to the general population.

[N7YA]

Sounds like it failed before it began...in a fat way!

[kc7jty]

Sounds like it failed before it began...in a fat way!

That can only be determined by the amount of profit derived from the brain dead masses that are drawn to such nonsense.

[N7YA]

Only the ratings will tell. Most of the time, for a show to be successful, it needs to have a combination of the following....cakes, yelling and screaming, fat people lightly pushing eachother around but never actually hitting one another even though they are implying that they are in a fight of some kind, eating fried food, more yelling, tits, a panel of three "judges", an angry foreman, chocolate, a guy about to quit but somehow resolves his problem in time for the final commercial break, a fat crying woman, midgets, more fake fighting, a tow truck/boat/ghost hunting equipment, Oakleys pushed up on top of a very fat head, pointing and shoving, implied sexual tension, a food sculpture tipping over, a guest appearance by a has-been celebrity, lots of cutaway interviews by a cast member explaining the exact thing we JUST saw that same person do a few seconds before, lots of shots through a window of a vehicle or office of a stressed out person holding their head, fat and very undiciplined kids screaming at their parents and said parents crying that they have absolutely no control over said kids, people looking at houses all day but only being able to choose from three, cupcakes, more ghosts, people building things that are very large, washed out former celebrities via laptop from somewhere secret dramatically spelling out rules to some pointless contest a bunch of scrubs gathered in a room will be undertaking for a prize they wont actually get, buying or selling junk in a pawn shop, guys in a pawn shop arguing or screaming at eachother, fat guys in a pawn shop, fat customers in a pawn shop, a spin off pawn shop show slightly resembling another successful pawn shop show, guys in big gay moustaches and hardhats cutting down trees, greasy people from New Jersey, chefs who look like models arguing about nothing important.

Thats just week one of a normal season....

[kc7jty]

this program I started with is an infomercial.

[N7YA]

Ah, a late nighter...you need digital cable to see all these gems repeated ad nauseum.

[ki4itv]

I especially enjoy the Get Rich Through Tax Liens Home Business (forget their term for it, sounds nicer), but this is the one where you scour the papers and courthouse records looking for people who have missed paying their property taxes for whatever reason or whatever paltry sum.

This gleeful programming is chock full of smiling faces telling you how happy they are to loan people money, unbeknown to the borrower (they essentially sneak up to the courthouse and pay the back taxes). Then the cheerful good samaritans sit and wait patiently for the time they can finally kick the family out their home, posses the property, re-sell it for a hansom sum, or legally extort the present owner for 17% annual interest on a loan they never agreed to in the first place.
And God do they love their job, it's the greatest, most fulfilling way to make money they have ever experienced. Just look at their faces!

Ain't America Great!

[kc7jty]

Be sure to pay your taxes.