Female in the kitchen.

[KA5PIU]

Hello.

A woman who can only be called what she is, a food destroyer, wanted to come over.
The first thing that this female wants to do is set her purse on the food prep table.
This would not be so bad, except a woman takes her purse into the bathroom and sets it on the floor, but wait! there's more!
You can Smell that thing when she brings it!
To open it reminds me of a garbage truck.
She will open it, and pull out this matted mess of what she calls recipes.
Season to taste is totally lost on her, spices are sugar and salt!
She also carries this wooden spoon, in that filthy purse, her lucky purse.
Anyhow, I have decided that this is not what I want, to die is one thing but,,,,,,.
Bottom line is that miss emotions (daughter) is all upset and screaming on the front lawn.
So it is sex and botulism, and an upset belly as well as fried taste buds, or safety and sanity.
My only hope, it will start raining! ;)

[kc7jty]

http://www.poetry.com/

enter it, you might win something...

[ki4itv]

You're right Bill, but I'm thinking he's serious.
Like OCD serious.

Rudy, you OK dude?
wash once, rinse twice. done.;)

[n2ize]

okay

[KA5PIU]

Hello.

She left an hour later, after getting into an argument with a neighbour.
But, no tail! and she is good in bed!
Her mother came over to she what she was to marry, except I knew nothing about it.
This is a pair of the brainless, like blonds except that this is the Latina models.
I met them a few years ago when they had the engine on the pickup freeze, and overheat due to lack of water, in the middle of winter.
The hubby from that marriage is in the pen, again, somebody who I had worked with.
Anyhow, they were being thrown out of their mobile home after the breakup.
Somehow, I got involved with her a few weeks back, not bad until she brings her mother.
Last night it all came to a head, her mother wants to move in!

[KG4CGC]

Get away, stay away, RUN AWAY!

[kf0rt]

That's just a dog away from a C&W hit.

[NQ6U]

That's just a dog away from a C&W hit.

Almost--he has to throw a train in there somewhere, too.

[ki4itv]

Almost--he has to throw a train in there somewhere, too.

I have a feeling that's coming if mom moves in...;)

[NQ6U]

I have a feeling that's coming if mom moves in...;)

Good point! :lol:

[AA0CX]

Make sure when you talk to your wife/significant other about her cooking you're away from potentially dangerous objects/kitchen implements. It COULD prove hazardous to your well-being, depending on her temperament. For example, my ex-wife attacked her previous husband with a Mixmaster when he said "why can't you make your mashed potatoes like my mom does?"

[ad4mg]

Rudy, I can't remember laughing so hard at one of your posts. I shouldn't get such enjoyment out of your misfortune, but it amuses me to see a big, tough construction worker brought down by a pair of women. :lol:

It's also good to see you enjoying teh sex like the rest of us. :yes:

Be careful, my friend! Sleep lightly.

[N2CHX]

Make sure when you talk to your wife/significant other about her cooking you're away from potentially dangerous objects/kitchen implements. It COULD prove hazardous to your well-being, depending on her temperament. For example, my ex-wife attacked her previous husband with a Mixmaster when he said "why can't you make your mashed potatoes like my mom does?"

Mine knows better than to ask me that now. If I'm asked to make something that Mom used to make, my response is "Mom is five miles North. I suggest you start heading North."

[KJ3N]

Mine knows better than to ask me that now. If I'm asked to make something that Mom used to make, my response is "Mom is five miles North. I suggest you start heading North."

:rofl: :rofl:

Since I generally do the cooking, that's not much of a problem here.

[al2n]

:rofl: :rofl:

Since I generally do the cooking, that's not much of a problem here.

Same here.

[kc7jty]

Can the mother cook & keep the house tidy?
A friend who passed away's mother is now living with the friend's wife. She moved in after he passed away. She's worth her weight in gold. Does all the cooking and house work and wouldn't have it any other way. Hispanic (old school).

[KA5PIU]

Can the mother cook & keep the house tidy?
A friend who passed away's mother is now living with the friend's wife. She moved in after he passed away. She's worth her weight in gold. Does all the cooking and house work and wouldn't have it any other way. Hispanic (old school).

Hello.

This woman can not cook, mother or daughter.
Clean? not a chance, I am an immaculate bachelor in comparison and I consider myself to be a slob, a well dressed slob, but a slob.
I know some of the very top socialites and am ultra friendly, I try my best to get along with everyone.
I make a cameo appearance on local TV at least 5 times a year by making all the public functions I can.
In fact I was on TV just this morning, the Democrat labor day meeting for Bexar county, sponsored by the San Antonio firefighters.
I hold a CDL, so guess who was driving an antique fire truck?
I drive a tractor that pulls the float in the Battle of flowers parade, but not just any float, The float.
That is why they want me, I am very popular.
I sing in Spanish at the homecoming of the queen both in Mexico City and in Houston Texas every year and am very popular in the Latino community, have been for years.
This makes me popular with the ladies, but sometimes I have a little trouble, this is one of the times.

[kc7jty]

I lived in El Paso for 3 years, the Hispanic women there were very friendly and plentiful. This one gal I worked with got rather put off I wouldn't BE with her because she was married. Her words were "So what?"

[N2CHX]

My only thought here is "why?"

[AA0CX]

I lived in El Paso for 3 years, the Hispanic women there were very friendly and plentiful. This one gal I worked with got rather put off I wouldn't BE with her because she was married. Her words were "So what?"

I knew some like that near the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard years ago. Weren't Hispanic, though.

[kc7jty]

My only thought here is "why?"

who me?
Guess I'm just old fashioned in some areas. If you want to hump around, be single.
I also have a problem sharing someone with another man in a right now time frame even if it is her old man...it's just YUCK!


...anyway, in reply to her I said "I don't want to get shot", it seemed to take her by surprise, and she was perfectly behaved and civil from that point on.

[N2CHX]

who me?
Guess I'm just old fashioned in some areas. If you want to hump around, be single.
I also have a problem sharing someone with another man in a right now time frame even if it is her old man...it's just YUCK!


...anyway, in reply to her I said "I don't want to get shot", it seemed to take her by surprise, and she was perfectly behaved and civil from that point on.

No not you. I mean Rudy. I'm thinking "This woman carries her stirring spoon in a dirty purse, gets in fights on the front lawn, husbands in prison, sounds like a real life, walking episode of Jerry Springer. WTF?" She must be really freaking good in bed is all I'm saying.

[kc7jty]

k















************************************************** ****************************

[ki4itv]

No not you. I mean Rudy. I'm thinking "This woman carries her stirring spoon in a dirty purse, gets in fights on the front lawn, husbands in prison, sounds like a real life, walking episode of Jerry Springer. WTF?" She must be really freaking good in bed is all I'm saying.

I think if we just substitute the words to "America The Beautiful" with this storyline...we may actually have our country song after all. Who needs a train and a dog anyway?

...and leave the 'O beautiful Halcyon' part in there. At ten times the strength of Valium, it might come in very handy. :lol:



OK, I'm through being a total smardass today. promise.

[kf0rt]

OK, I'm through being a total smardass today. promise.

No, you're not. :lol:

[KJ3N]

No not you. I mean Rudy. I'm thinking "This woman carries her stirring spoon in a dirty purse, gets in fights on the front lawn, husbands in prison, sounds like a real life, walking episode of Jerry Springer. WTF?" She must be really freaking good in bed is all I'm saying.

Better have a trick hip and be able to suck a golf ball through 30 feet of garden hose. ;) :rofl:

[NQ6U]

Better [...] be able to suck a golf ball through 30 feet of garden hose. ;) :rofl:

Or suck-start a Harley, or suck the chrome off a trailer hitch...

[KJ3N]

Or suck-start a Harley, or suck the chrome off a trailer hitch...

I knew a Jewish girl like that.... :yes: :lol:

[ki4itv]

Quote Originally Posted by ki4itv
OK, I'm through being a total smardass today. promise.

No, you're not. :lol:

Well, I am giving it some thought.
(best read in your John Cleese voice)

[NA4BH]

I am trying to figure out where the wooden spoon fits into the sexual dealings?

[NQ6U]

I am trying to figure out where the wooden spoon fits into the sexual dealings?

Trust me, you don't want to know. This is Rudy we're talking about.

[W4RLR]

I knew a Jewish girl like that.... :yes: :lol:Ditto.

[ki4itv]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWXcjYNZais&feature=related

[W3WN]

I am trying to figure out where the wooden spoon fits into the sexual dealings?

Don't.

[W3WN]

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

If she's that bad a cook, and that lousy a housekeeper, and that careless with what her purse comes into contact with... well, how can I put this politely (or at least at an acceptable level for the forum)... but personally, I don't care how good she is in bed. I'd be more concerned with, ah, catching something that penicillin and it's stronger cousins couldn't knock out.

Or to put it another way, her lack of concern over cleanliness of her personal items may be an indication of a lack of concern over her hygiene and so forth.

15 minutes of ecstasy (now if I was a real smartasss, I'd say something like "although in your case, more like 2 minutes" but I won't do that to you) is not worth a lifetime of medical difficulties.

[W3WN]

I knew a Jewish girl like that.... :yes: :lol:

Where were you when I was single?

If I'd known a Jewish girl like that, my sister might actually be talking to me today.

Hmmm. On second thought...

[KA5PIU]

Hello.

It was the daughter that I was interested, next thing I know her mother shows up.
This pair wanted to talk to me, and takes a cab, with no money to pay for it.
I am gone when they show up, so they bail, take a bus back.
I return to find the cabbie all upset that am not ready to pay, pay for what?!
He has dispatch call the police, again.
They come out and explain that it is not my problem.

Protection?! I have given up!
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.17872

[WØTKX]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YFC0O393DQ

[W3WN]

Hello.

It was the daughter that I was interested, next thing I know her mother shows up.
This pair wanted to talk to me, and takes a cab, with no money to pay for it.
I am gone when they show up, so they bail, take a bus back.
I return to find the cabbie all upset that am not ready to pay, pay for what?!
He has dispatch call the police, again.
They come out and explain that it is not my problem.

Protection?! I have given up!
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.17872
Uh huh. Sure.

Rudy, you've got to start hanging out at a better class of bars, or whatever establishment you're using to pickup girls.

Especially if their mother shows up too. Unless you want to start writing for Literotica.

[W7XF]

Almost--he has to throw a train wreck in there somewhere, too.

Fixed!

[K7SGJ]

It's true Rudy. If you want a relationship without the mom hanging around, your going to have to move up a little. Say like........... high school chicks.

[W7XF]

Or suck-start a Harley, or suck the chrome off a trailer hitch...
Oh God... you don't need them bringing their house, too.

[W7XF]

I am trying to figure out where the wooden spoon fits into the sexual dealings?

Someone has to spoon the fuel into the black helicopters....

[KA5PIU]

Hello.

This was, by far, the worst.
But, the real answer to all my woes?
I am a geek.
But, not just any geek, I am a ham!

[W3WN]

Well Rudy, I'll tell you...

Around the corner from the Westin Park Central on the north side of Dallas is a Jack-In-The-Box. Store manager is a very nice lady, and from what I gathered, is presently single.

She might be just what you need. OTOH, I can't promise that you're what she needs, but that's your problem.

[W3WN]

I am trying to figure out where the wooden spoon fits into the sexual dealings?

Haven't you ever seen Stripes?

[N2CHX]

Hello.

This was, by far, the worst.
But, the real answer to all my woes?
I am a geek.
But, not just any geek, I am a ham!

That pretty much explains it all. I think.

[WØTKX]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41DrQpocn1L.jpg


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBocpO2XUu0

[W3WN]

Hello.

This was, by far, the worst.
But, the real answer to all my woes?
I am a geek.
But, not just any geek, I am a ham!

Well, you're something, all right.