Is the slap chop any good?

[W1GUH]

You know, the one that Billy Mays used to hawk? It DOES look a lot better than the usual vegetable chopper, and there's a street vendor near me that has them periodically. So...Does it last? Is it really as good as Mr. Mays said it is? And does Graty work well?

[N2CHX]

You mean Vince, right? The shady guy who "slap chops his nuts" ? Shamwow guy?

Anyway... I have a Pampered Chef version of this thing and it is quite handy.

[KG4CGC]

Well sir, that was "hawked" by Vince the Prostitute Popper. It's actually a good design, very cleanable. It does what they say it does.
The question is, do you love your cutting boards and chef knives or do you just need to cut up a very small handful of small items at a time?
I say it borders between novelty and useful utensil for single folks or very light eaters.

[N2CHX]

Well sir, that was "hawked" by Vince the Prostitute Popper. It's actually a good design, very cleanable. It does what they say it does.
The question is, do you love your cutting boards and chef knives or do you just need to cut up a very small handful of small items at a time?
I say it borders between novelty and useful utensil for single folks or very light eaters.

Heh, I was going to add "handy for small jobs." You're right. I usually use it for onion or fresh herbs.

[W1GUH]

So I had the guy wrong? Ah...well. Yea, the guy who sez, "You're going to love my nuts" No, I'm not fond of the chopping board and knife, and I don't like my "conventional" chopper. I'm mainly talking about chopping onions. Vince says nobody needs to cry, life's too short. I can just about get an onion sliced and ready for a conventional chopper without the tears -- but when I used to do that with a knife it really made crocodile tears! OK...I'll ask the guy on the street how much?


[edit] Just looked it up. I was thinking of the shamwow guy.

[KG4CGC]

So I had the guy wrong? Ah...well. Yea, the guy who sez, "You're going to love my nuts" No, I'm not fond of the chopping board and knife, and I don't like my "conventional" chopper. I'm mainly talking about chopping onions. Vince says nobody needs to cry, life's too short. I can just about get an onion sliced and ready for a conventional chopper without the tears -- but when I used to do that with a knife it really made crocodile tears! OK...I'll ask the guy on the street how much?
If the body doesn't split apart for cleaning then it's not the real deal. Just sayin' yo?

[WØTKX]

I suggest an ancient design... mezzaluna choppa!

http://etm.freshegg.com/clientimages/140/nigella_lawson_mezza_luna_chopping_board.jpg

Some have multiple blades...

http://www.iosss.com/shopping/images/6482.jpg

I have a cheap one... found it at Target.

http://images.marketplaceadvisor.channeladvisor.com/hi/75/74871/norpromezzaluna.jpg

[N2CHX]

I suggest an ancient design... mezzaluna choppa!

http://etm.freshegg.com/clientimages/140/nigella_lawson_mezza_luna_chopping_board.jpg

Some have multiple blades...

http://www.iosss.com/shopping/images/6482.jpg

I have a cheap one... found it at Target.

http://images.marketplaceadvisor.channeladvisor.com/hi/75/74871/norpromezzaluna.jpg

That thing looks lethal!

[N2CHX]

If the body doesn't split apart for cleaning then it's not the real deal. Just sayin' yo?

Yep. Splitting apart makes it really easy to clean. And perfect for onions, yes.

[KG4CGC]

I suggest an ancient design... mezzaluna choppa!

http://etm.freshegg.com/clientimages/140/nigella_lawson_mezza_luna_chopping_board.jpg

Some have multiple blades...

http://www.iosss.com/shopping/images/6482.jpg

I have a cheap one... found it at Target.

http://images.marketplaceadvisor.channeladvisor.com/hi/75/74871/norpromezzaluna.jpg
I used the single blade original version to finely chop mulukhiyah as a child starting at age 8. We converted a large piece of butcher block just for the job as it was chopped right away in bulk as soon as we harvested it. It was a big job and I was paid 25 cents to chop it all down to about a bushel when all's said and done.

[W1GUH]

OK, thanks for all the info. If I get that slap chop (yep, splitting apart real deal!) and it breaks the first time I use it....

Just sayin'!

[N2CHX]

OK, thanks for all the info. If I get that slap chop (yep, splitting apart real deal!) and it breaks the first time I use it....

Just sayin'!

...slap chop the nuts off the guy who sold it to you.

[KG4CGC]

OK, thanks for all the info. If I get that slap chop (yep, splitting apart real deal!) and it breaks the first time I use it....

Just sayin'!
You could always go to Williams Sonoma and buy their version. It won't break, unless you try to.

[N2CHX]

You could always go to Williams Sonoma and buy their version. It won't break, unless you try to.

My pampered chef version has proven to be pretty durable.

[W1GUH]

You could always go to Williams Sonoma and buy their version. It won't break, unless you try to.


Hmmmm...I was going to make a snide comment about how many slap chops I could buy for the cost of one from W-S and got shocked. I found this one (http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/professional-multi-chopper/?pkey=cfruit-vegetable-tools%7Cctlfvtveg) for what looks a decent price. Ah, but..."Do not use chopper for meat, nuts, cheese, roots or produce with pits." Aw...can't chop nuts? Nuts!!!

[N2CHX]

Hmmmm...I was going to make a snide comment about how many slap chops I could buy for the cost of one from W-S and got shocked. I found this one (http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/professional-multi-chopper/?pkey=cfruit-vegetable-tools%7Cctlfvtveg) for what looks a decent price. Ah, but..."Do not use chopper for meat, nuts, cheese, roots or produce with pits." Aw...can't chop nuts? Nuts!!!

This is the one I have. Simple, easy to clean, works great and will chop your nuts too.

http://www.pamperedchef.com/our_products/catalog/product.jsp?productId=240&categoryCode=CE

[W1GUH]

I've already got a nut grinder (I mean besides the one I divorced!:irked:), so it doesn't really matter.

[NA4BH]

I suggest an ancient design... mezzaluna choppa!

http://etm.freshegg.com/clientimages/140/nigella_lawson_mezza_luna_chopping_board.jpg

Some have multiple blades...




http://www.iosss.com/shopping/images/6482.jpg

I have a cheap one... found it at Target.

http://images.marketplaceadvisor.channeladvisor.com/hi/75/74871/norpromezzaluna.jpg

I have one of those from Alaska Cutlery. Every-time I look at it I have the weirdest urge to skin a whale. :lol: That thing is sharp

[N8YX]

Every time I call 'DSG "Slap chops", she gets hugely pissed off.

Is that any good? You decide...

[W3MIV]

Only sissies can't chop onions with a good chef's knife. My sole concession to modernity is that I like to use one of those flexible, plastic sheets on which to do the chopping -- makes it easier to shuffle the onion mince (or dice) into whatever vessel is required.

My xyl (who is an admitted sissy) has one of those chop-a-slop gadgets. It mashes the onion mince, making a wet mass of mashed bits laced through with strings and strips of onion skins (the very thin membranes between the layers). One hell of a mess.

[N2CHX]

Only sissies can't chop onions with a good chef's knife. My sole concession to modernity is that I like to use one of those flexible, plastic sheets on which to do the chopping -- makes it easier to shuffle the onion mince (or dice) into whatever vessel is required.

My xyl (who is an admitted sissy) has one of those chop-a-slop gadgets. It mashes the onion mince, making a wet mass of mashed bits laced through with strings and strips of onion skins (the very thin membranes between the layers). One hell of a mess.

Smart people work smarter, not harder :p

When I do an onion, I cut the ends and remove the skin, THEN throw it in the chopper. No mess. It's not that I CAN'T chop it with a knife, it's that if I want it finely chopped, the chopper thing is much, much faster. With three kids and everything else I've got going on, if I can get it done faster, all the better when it comes to cooking.

[W1GUH]

Yes it is much faster, and that's a big help when preparing food. But it's not my main motivation with onions. Albi, what do you do? Wear goggles when chopping onions? Whenever I chop onions the old fashioned way, I'm crying crocodile tears. But worst than that is the stinging and burning in my eyes for a long while afterwards. Shallots aren't so bad -- and anyway, shallots need to be chopped way more than regular onions, so there, I gotta do it manually.

OTHO...all other chopping I do by hand. I really love doing it by hand and usually the scents that are released are wonderful, especially with herbs like dill or basil.

BTW...the guy selling slap chops wasn't there last night. Drat. I figured a street vendor is probably selling for about $10. Well, that's what I'll pay. At that price it's worth it to see if they break immediately or last a while. Besides, [blush] I actually like the commercial!

[KG4CGC]

Burn a candle beside your chopping block when dealing with onions.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/bebop5/Shelby%20Dallas%202008/martha_stewart_34113s.jpg

[W1GUH]

Burn a candle beside your chopping block when dealing with onions.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/bebop5/Shelby%20Dallas%202008/martha_stewart_34113s.jpg

Tried that. Tried doing it under running watar. You name it, I tried it.

Oh, and that image? You sig sez it all! That bitch has no human feelings.

[W4RLR]

So I had the guy wrong? Ah...well. Yea, the guy who sez, "You're going to love my nuts" No, I'm not fond of the chopping board and knife, and I don't like my "conventional" chopper. I'm mainly talking about chopping onions. Vince says nobody needs to cry, life's too short. I can just about get an onion sliced and ready for a conventional chopper without the tears -- but when I used to do that with a knife it really made crocodile tears! OK...I'll ask the guy on the street how much?


[edit] Just looked it up. I was thinking of the shamwow guy.This guy? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Offer

[W1GUH]

This guy? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Offer

Yep, that's the "You're gonna like my nuts" guy. And actually he's the "shamwow guy". Just found this:

ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/shamwow-guy-slap-chop-bust)

Ah, yes...what raging hormones + money can get you!!!

[KG4CGC]

Yep, that's the "You're gonna like my nuts" guy. And actually he's the "shamwow guy". Just found this:

ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/shamwow-guy-slap-chop-bust)

Ah, yes...what raging hormones + money can get you!!!
Yeah, and one of the questions I had when that went down was, Is this a set up? she tried to bite out his tongue! Talk about a career ender!
I imagine there is more bad blood out there than we care to know about in the TV pitchman world.

[w3bny]

Stiff margaritas and a side shooter then take a big honkin bite out of a serrano! wont worry about no damn onion anymore....hic

[KG4CGC]

Stiff margaritas and a side shooter then take a big honkin bite out of a serrano! wont worry about no damn onion anymore....hic
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/bebop5/drinks/tequila-shot.jpg

[W3WN]

Every time I call 'DSG "Slap chops", she gets hugely pissed off.

Is that any good? You decide...

I wouldn't do that if I were you. She ever dumps your butt in the street, there'll be a line of suitors around the block as soon as the word gets around.

[W1GUH]

Yeah, and one of the questions I had when that went down was, Is this a set up? she tried to bite out his tongue! Talk about a career ender!
I imagine there is more bad blood out there than we care to know about in the TV pitchman world.

At least she didn't pull a "Lorena Bobbit" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_and_Lorena_Bobbitt) on him! :shock:

[W1GUH]

Finally got the one from Willimas-Sonoma. (http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/professional-multi-chopper/?pkey=cmandolines-slicers) Made very, very quick work of chopping an onion for Chicken Parm last night. Two whacks -- one for each half of the onion, and I had very nicely chopped onion. Big, BIG time-saver, and this on isn't all that expensive. Comes completely apart for dishwasher cleaning.

Good - no more crying or "pound pound pound" on the conventional chopper.

[n2ize]

Only sissies can't chop onions with a good chef's knife. My sole concession to modernity is that I like to use one of those flexible, plastic sheets on which to do the chopping -- makes it easier to shuffle the onion mince (or dice) into whatever vessel is required.

My xyl (who is an admitted sissy) has one of those chop-a-slop gadgets. It mashes the onion mince, making a wet mass of mashed bits laced through with strings and strips of onion skins (the very thin membranes between the layers). One hell of a mess.

Yes. I agree with you. I use a regular knife and it works great. The same knife my grandparents used for chopping onions. The knife was about 70 years old when they got it. The way I see it, it's worked for well over 100 years and it works well now. Why should I switch and use some modern gadget when the old way was simple and produces better results.

yes, I agree. I don't like those new fangled food processors/choppers. They tend to turn the vegetables into a mass of mush. I'll stick to the old way. The good way. Just like when it comes to writing. I stick with a quill pen, a fountain pen , and a pencil. Worked good way back when, works good now.

[NA4BH]

Yes. I agree with you. I use a regular knife and it works great. The same knife my grandparents used for chopping onions. The knife was about 70 years old when they got it. The way I see it, it's worked for well over 100 years and it works well now. Why should I switch and use some modern gadget when the old way was simple and produces better results.

yes, I agree. I don't like those new fangled food processors/choppers. They tend to turn the vegetables into a mass of mush. I'll stick to the old way. The good way. Just like when it comes to writing. I stick with a quill pen, a fountain pen , and a pencil. Worked good way back when, works good now.

So you are ready for the teaparty take over. :whistle:

[NQ6U]

I'll stick to the old way. The good way. Just like when it comes to writing. I stick with a quill pen, a fountain pen , and a pencil. Worked good way back when, works good now.

Too modern. It's a wedge-shaped stick and clay tablet for me.

http://keidahl.terranhost.com/Summer/WOH1012/Images/CuneiformTablet.jpg

[KG4CGC]

Real ham prep food with hand made stone tools.

[NQ6U]

Real ham prep food with hand made stone tools.

Real hams don't mess with no sissy "preparation." They eat their food raw.

[KG4CGC]

Real hams don't mess with no sissy "preparation." They eat their food raw.
Some like to sift their dirt first for rocks. Save the rocks for later.

[NQ6U]

Some like to sift their dirt first for rocks. Save the rocks for later.

The rocks are the best part.

[KG4CGC]

The rocks are the best part.
Like the dew claw on muskrats.

[n2ize]

So you are ready for the teaparty take over. :whistle:

nah... the tea party is way too far ahead of my time.

[NQ6U]

Like the dew claw on muskrats.

Ooooooooooh, muskrat....

http://gmame.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/homer.jpg

[w3bny]

Its a great kitchen item if you're an epileptic chimp. Otherwise, learn how to handle/use a knife!

[N2NH]

Dunno. I guess you'll have to ask Vince's nuts.

[W1GUH]

Its a great kitchen item if you're an epileptic chimp. Otherwise, learn how to handle/use a knife!

Guess some of you need remedial reading. How does one chop onions without not only bawling like a baby, but having burning, stinging eyes for a long time afterwards? I've tried everything that way, but always with the same results.

Anything besides onions I LOVE to chop.

Cheesh!!!!

[w3bny]

Guess some of you need remedial reading. How does one chop onions without not only bawling like a baby, but having burning, stinging eyes for a long time afterwards? I've tried everything that way, but always with the same results.

Anything besides onions I LOVE to chop.

Cheesh!!!!

Two simple words... NUT UP!!! that and hasssan...CHOP

[W3MIV]

Ooooooooooh, muskrat...

Used to be a regular menu item in some parts of the Eastern Shore... uh, make that the Eastern Show, before the damned nutria started to take over and displace the 'rats. I've eaten it. Not bad, but nothing I'd go out of my way to get.

No, it doesn't taste like chicken.

[w3bny]

Ooooooooooh, muskrat....

http://gmame.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/homer.jpg

Could be worse...coulda said

OOooooooh big furry musky beaver:wtf::yum:

[W1GUH]

Long term use report....

That chopper that I listed somewhere early in the thread has performed beautifully. Two swipes, one for each half of the onion, and the job's done. Shows no signs of being "cheap" plastic....it's lasting very nicely.

The rest of you who like burning, stinging, teary eyes can continue to use a knife.

[n2ize]

So I had the guy wrong? Ah...well. Yea, the guy who sez, "You're going to love my nuts" No, I'm not fond of the chopping board and knife, and I don't like my "conventional" chopper. I'm mainly talking about chopping onions. Vince says nobody needs to cry, life's too short. I can just about get an onion sliced and ready for a conventional chopper without the tears -- but when I used to do that with a knife it really made crocodile tears! OK...I'll ask the guy on the street how much?


[edit] Just looked it up. I was thinking of the shamwow guy.

Just use a chopping board and a knife. Don;t worry about the burning eyes and tears. It makes you tough.

[N2NH]

http://images.marketplaceadvisor.channeladvisor.com/hi/75/74871/norpromezzaluna.jpg



I would hate to have had one of those when I was married to the 1st wife. When she got mad she ran for the sharp things. Probably would be headless by the looks of them...Really.
:lol:

[N2NH]

http://etm.freshegg.com/clientimages/140/nigella_lawson_mezza_luna_chopping_board.jpg

I would've hated to have that when I was with wife #1. When she got mad, she ran for the sharp knives. I'd probably be headless right now... Really.

:lol:

[W3MIV]

My experience with the slap-chop gimmick is that it does not cut so much as mash what you are trying to mince or chop. Man up and use a chef's pattern or, as Dave suggested, a mezzaluna that you can sharpen with a ceramic rod.

[NQ6U]

Real men just use a rock and are happy to have it. Ask Charles.

[W1GUH]

Actually, real men eat onions like an apple, skin and all.

[WB0LSR]

Just thought this should be included in this thread:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA



and for shits and grins these:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijjpmcBa-Rs


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3asbkY0tTE
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3asbkY0tTE)

[KG4CGC]

Long term use report....

That chopper that I listed somewhere early in the thread has performed beautifully. Two swipes, one for each half of the onion, and the job's done. Shows no signs of being "cheap" plastic....it's lasting very nicely.

The rest of you who like burning, stinging, teary eyes can continue to use a knife.Did you try it on your nuts? Vince says you're gonna love'm!

[W1GUH]

Maybe I've left out an important piece of information. I didn't get the slap chop -- I found a great chopper at Williams-Sonoma. THAT's what I'm reviewing.

As far as trying it on my nuts...well, the one I have doesn't do nuts, so I'm out of luck there.

[WB0LSR]

What?? No nuts???

Dude.. you shoulda bought the slap chop.

[KG4CGC]

It'll slap them nuts up. You're gonna love'm!

[NQ6U]

It'll slap them nuts up.

Sounds like my first wife.

[KG4CGC]

First Wives Club?

[N2NH]

Did you try it on your nuts? Vince says you're gonna love'm!

I thought Vince said you'd love his nuts? That's why I haven't bought it. I haven't run out of my own yet.

[n2ize]

I would've hated to have that when I was with wife #1. When she got mad, she ran for the sharp knives. I'd probably be headless right now... Really.

:lol:

I had an ex girl friend like that. She never told me she was a paranoid schizophrenic with a tendency towards killing. She had a collection of very expensive hand made Bowie knives and several times she tried to kill me with one of them. I broke up with her when she started applying for a gun permit.

[n2ize]

My experience with the slap-chop gimmick is that it does not cut so much as mash what you are trying to mince or chop. Man up and use a chef's pattern or, as Dave suggested, a mezzaluna that you can sharpen with a ceramic rod.

I have had the same problems with these new fangled food choppers and food processors. They turn the stuff into a paste. I use a regular knife. It takes a little bit longer but it works the best.

[WØTKX]

As far as onion tears, I use ski goggles, and chop away.

Pause the chopping and turn my head to take a breath.

Easy peasy. And the mezzaluna makes it go faster.

[KG4CGC]

I have had the same problems with these new fangled food choppers and food processors. They turn the stuff into a paste. I use a regular knife. It takes a little bit longer but it works the best.
The way to use a food processor is to pulse. One or two seconds at a time and check the coarseness. It is designed to greatly speed up the chopping or slicing depending on the blade. I like the plastic blade for dough.

[NA4BH]

I had an ex girl friend like that. She never told me she was a paranoid schizophrenic with a tendency towards killing. She had a collection of very expensive hand made Bowie knives and several times she tried to kill me with one of them. I broke up with her when she started applying for a gun permit.

So, until the gun permit thing, the knives were a turn on? :whistle: :whistle:

[WØTKX]

I think he was Harold as portrayed by Bud Cort. :lol:

[ki4itv]

So, until the gun permit thing, the knives were a turn on? :whistle: :whistle:

I'm going with yes, and arriving at that assumption was not particularly difficult after reading literally thousands of post by John over the years. :-D

[WØTKX]

He likes those crazy librarian types.

[n2ize]

He likes those crazy librarian types.

This one with the knives is the reason that I prefer the company of the repressed librarian types. The way I figure it is that I'd rather have a book thrown at me than a knife. :)

[NQ6U]

This one with the knives is the reason that I prefer the company of the repressed librarian types. The way I figure it is that I'd rather have a book thrown at me than a knife. :)

Unless it's War and Peace, perhaps.

[N2NH]

Unless it's War and Peace, perhaps.

NHE is a librarian and yes, she's strong enough to pitch War and Peace.

[WØTKX]

This one with the knives is the reason that I prefer the company of the repressed librarian types. The way I figure it is that I'd rather have a book thrown at me than a knife. :)

Umm, I'd be more afraid of a hard bound edition of Atlas Shrugged. ;)

Oh wait, that happened once, and I caught it in the temporal lobe. Took a while to shake the infection... but there ya go.
Working in IT then, fixing things nobody understood while the rest argued about procedures and documentation.

A wound from a lady lawyer that healed slowly, my bad. True story.

[n2ize]

NHE is a librarian and yes, she's strong enough to pitch War and Peace.

I know a librarian who is strong enough to easily pitch entire cases of full sized hard bound unabridged dictionaries. And when i say "pitch" I don;t mean struggling with it and then lobbing it 6 inches away. I mean pitching as in sending that crate of huge dictionaries flying farther and faster than a major league fastball pitcher.

[W1GUH]

Umm, I'd be more afraid of a hard bound edition of Atlas Shrugged. ;)

Oh wait, that happened once, and I caught it in the temporal lobe. Took a while to shake the infection... but there ya go.
Working in IT then, fixing things nobody understood while the rest argued about procedures and documentation.

A wound from a lady lawyer that healed slowly, my bad. True story.

How much did you get when you sued the pants off her?