Suddenseer, "On The Couch"

[KG4CGC]

Your turn Mr. Seer!

When did you first realize that you had an avocation for things associated with amateur radio and was it electronics or community that had the most draw for you?

[kc7jty]

yeah!...how 'bout it?
...what?

[suddenseer]

Your turn Mr. Seer!

When did you first realize that you had an avocation for things associated with amateur radio and was it electronics or community that had the most draw for you?I was just 8 years old when I bought this weird am broadcast rcvr at a garage sale. I could tune above 1600 Khz. I heard these guys talking on am about 1800 Khz I guess. They were having fun talking to each other on the air. They were hams. I sent reception reports to some of them, and received my first qsl cards. My dad was a cber in the 1960's so I was not unfamiliar with radio transmissions. I got a Novice Ticket WN8YuD when I was a teenager. When I upgraded to WB8YUD. I thought I was the shiznit. I went to a vocational high school program and was mentored by another ham. I succesfully passed the FCC first radio telephony with microwave endorsement license. I was an 18 year old kid who could legally be a BE, but had no clue how to be one.
Just because you can pass a test does not mean you know what you are doing.

[suddenseer]

I enrolled at Wright State Univ in Dayton, Ohio. My major was bio medical engineering. I got 2 years in. I met Jesus. Became a right wing pentecostal christian. I was struggling with my sexual orientation. I really did not want to be gay. Even though I was. My church had a wife for me to marry. I wanted to serve Jesus. I fasted for 29 days to get rid of the gay part of me. It did not work. I thought Gawd wanted me to be a minister. I transfered my college credits to my churches bible college. graduated 2 years later as a married student. My wife gave me a son, and a daughter. My son died of sids. I only came to deal with this this year. I already was given the left foot of fellowship from my church when I graduated, because I could not accept the bullshit that I saw. I decided to enroll in a Methodist Seminary in Dayton Ohio . I went for about a year. I had become a Pantheist by then. I could not stay in something I really did not believe in. I guess I have a year to go to get a Masters degree in theology. My BS was Systematic Theology.

[KG4CGC]

That's pretty hardcore and it is unfortunate that many have followed a similar path and have had parallel experiences. We all must deal with something, or so it would seem. The real test I guess you could say, is how we end up on the other side of those experiences.

What would you attribute to your path towards happiness or at least your best attempt? (if that's worded properly)

[suddenseer]

The happiness part came 9 years ago when I came out of the closet. I told my wife that I strugglrd with homosexual tendencies when I proposed to her. I really thought I would eraticate my inner most being. Nine years ago I had put my wife through college. I sometimes worked 3 jobs while she went to school. I had enough of living a lie. I told her I was gay. ( She knew). I never cheated one her. I was faithful to our marriage contract. We made gradual plans of divorcing, and separating. Almost like a legal contract. I met my partner soon afterwards. On Oct 8 we will have begun our ninth year together. We had a religious commitment cerimony back in 2003. My family was there. My ex wife was there approving. My daughter and son in law was there, as well as his religious community. We are like any other married couple. 9 years as a gay couple is like 40 years in gay world. I am in love with the man I am with. If the stupid country would get their collective head out of their ass I would legally marry him. I do not want to invade people who do not agree with this. I just want equal rights as an American citizen to marry who I choose.

[NQ6U]

Good story, Seer. Thanks for taking the time to tell us.

[kc7jty]

Good story, Seer. Thanks for taking the time to tell us.

time nothing, thanks for baring your soul to us all.
On a lighter note, why don't you use your call as your user name?

[N2CHX]

Wow, thank you for sharing that SS.

[N2NH]

Thank you for sharing. That is very brave.

[PA5COR]

Respect.
And very good to see you got your life together and be happy.
Life is too short anyway to live a lie.

Take care, and have a happy life with your partner.
Here that is fully accepted and marriage normal, so i see your problems.

[N8YX]

Take care, and have a happy life with your partner.
This advice can be applied to ANY situation/orientation.

From a strictly secular perspective, your first responsibility in a committed relationship is to that person whom you've undertaken the commitment with. And at the end of the day, no one else's opinions of you and/or your mate's actions really matter - as long as you're not out breaking laws and acting sociopathic in the process.

(Mind you, this line of thought flies squarely in the face of the 'Trophy Spouse' mentality - but personally I'd far rather be associated with someone who is plain in appearance but always has my "six" than be hooked up with some swanky, ditzy stick-chick.)

[N7YA]

:clap::clap::clap::agree:

Hopefully, one day, people will realize that spirituality has nothing to do with ceremony and wrapping that we put ourselves in. You and your partner chose to live your lives and you had to hit some speedbumps to get it done.

I respect you. :)

[suddenseer]

time nothing, thanks for baring your soul to us all.
On a lighter note, why don't you use your call as your user name?Mostly because I am a dumbass at times. When I registered for the Island, I assumed the username, and callsign would be separate. I failed to understand simple instructions. I use that handle because there is a story attached, but for another day (perhaps)

[kc7jty]

When I registered for the Island, I assumed the username, and callsign would be separate. I failed to understand simple instructions.
I sometimes get excited as well. Your situation can be easily remedied.

[kf0rt]

Mostly because I am a dumbass at times. When I registered for the Island, I assumed the username, and callsign would be separate. I failed to understand simple instructions. I use that handle because there is a story attached, but for another day (perhaps)

Can you give us a clue on the handle? I've always been a bit curious. No push, no shove, though -- I can live with the curiosity. ;)

[suddenseer]

Thanks to all for the kind words. I will make this one my last couch session. It seems I never stopped thinking like a child. I often think that I will finally be happy once that _________ happens. Speed bumps is what life mostly consist of, and one can choose to laugh at yourself while it happens. I often think I would be happier if my daughter, and grandchildren were closer. They are growing so fast and I wish I was part of that. I get lots of videos, photos, and some phone calls. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I heard my granddaughter say "Hi pawwpaww"
I got a bit personal, hoping that maybe someone going through what I did might stumble across this. Maybe there is a parent dealing with a child that struggles with their identity. I will say that since I came out life has sped up. The speedbumps seem to increase in size, and quantity. Five years ago, my partner was riding his motorbike when he was hit by an uninsured driver. He was not wearing his helmit. It was probably the first time he forgot it. His head hit the pavement at about 30 mph. He was flown to a Dayton hospital. He was in CCU for about a week. He suffered brain damage, loss of hearing in one ear. His eyesight is diminishing. He can get around now with a walker, and a cane on good days. These last two years, it became my turn with health problems. I have a condtion that requires an annual endoscopy exam of the upper GI, and the colon. Last year, I was called in to the docs office. He said "you have......malignant....." i was in shock and denial. The good news, it was in the 'baby' state. Just starting to screw up red/white cell count. A surgeon cut it out, and an oncologist ordered an overkill of radiation, and chemo. That was the bad part. I begged for the kinder gentler pill form chemo treatment. I wanted to keep up work, as well as my hair. Kinder/gentler my ass. I was sooooooo sick. The good part, I was reintroduced to the herbal remedy that helps with the nausea. They switched me to the infused chemo because the pill form did not work. I had enrolled in night, and Saturday classes to boot. I was very weak, and burning the candle at all three ends. I realy tried to keep a sense of humor. Reading W0TKX's crazy/funny/spot on wit. That helped me keep my humor as a sense. So far everything is a, GO! I have to go in for a 6 month pet scan, blood work, poke, and prod in November. I have made my mind up to have a good time anywhere I may end up. If I end up homeless, I will be having a good time. I have been there before. Health is important, worth much more than things. Love is the most important. I am so blessed to have that. The speed bumps have sharpened my senses. Mine are much smaller, and fewer than other folks. OK Dr. Barkeep Im a gonna jump off the couch now.

[KG4CGC]

OK, the rules state that you must find a volunteer or choose another for the couch and start a new thread.

[KG4CGC]

With an eye towards moving thing along if I may, any volunteers?

[suddenseer]

Who would dare to take a turn on the couch?. Anyone? Anyone? ( my best Ben Stein voice)

[N7YA]

I think you have to do the choosing, nobodys going to say "OOOH, ME NEXT!!" :lol:

[WØTKX]

http://logopolis.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341cba3953ef012875cc0931970c-pi

[suddenseer]

I think you have to do the choosing, nobodys going to say "OOOH, ME NEXT!!" :lol:You are correct, and I choose....YOU!!!. What kind of bass do you play? It looks Fenderish. I used to play an Ibanez fretless. But this aint about me anymore.

[N7YA]

Yes it is. I have two Fender American J's...good for any gig, and holds tune like a champ. I still have my old Ibanez 5-string, well, the skeleton of it, from back in the 90's sitting in my closet. Used it on a lot of old original band gigs...funny you mention fretless, i tore the frets out of that one too. Go figure. :chin: