Ions

[kb2vxa]

I wrote this some years ago so it's made the rounds, but here it is for those of you who haven't seen it. Credit where credit is due to Larry Feldman N2HGY inventor of the homotron.

IONS By KB2VXA

Now a lesson in physicks. (spelling intentional)
Ions are otherwise normal atoms that have an electron missing or have an
extra electron. They can be identified and classified according to their behavior.
The anion is so named because it contains androgen. It behaves much as if
it had an excess of testosterone as it may be observed flexing it's lines of
force and bragging that it's charge is larger than the others. The cation
may be observed picking up stray electrons and discarding them when it's
charge is sufficient. This condition is transitory and soon it resumes the search for
more electrons. The homotron device is particularly useful as it accelerates
this process and thus makes it more readily observable. The homotron causes
the electrons to be attracted to each other, ignoring their host ions.
The anions will begin to fight, blaming each other. After their charges are
partly depleted they will accuse the electrons of being unfaithful which
will draw them into the fight. The cations being more passive will blame
themselves and move to the side of the chamber and cry. Being ions, none
will notice the external influence of the homotron. When the homotron is
switched off it will be a little while before the ions settle down to a
steady state, but when they do they will begin to exchange electrons in the
normal manner.

I knew a girl like that once...

[KF5ER]

I wrote this some years ago so it's made the rounds, but here it is for those of you who haven't seen it. Credit where credit is due to Larry Feldman N2HGY inventor of the homotron.

IONS By KB2VXA


Is homotron the same as a faggotron? They both blow fuses.

I have never had a fuse blown by a faggotron or a homotron. Not in my country.

Maybe you can tell us more of this phenomena which you seem to have vast knowledge? Do we need to keep an ion you?

[kb2vxa]

The homotron is not the subject of the experiment, merely a device for exciting the ions. As for the faggotron, it was invented in the UK and is a high tech electric cigarette lighter so don't let your imagination run away with you.

I have never had a faggot.

[kb2vxa]

<groan>

[HUGH]

I have never had a faggot.

A faggot is also a meatball containg sheep's offal, brains and other indescribable bits. The whole is wrapped in stretched sheep's intestine or stomach lining. Very tasty.

"Would you care for a faggot sir, they're fresh today?"

[WV6Z]

Sounds like I like faggots and here is one of my favorite dishes.
http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d148/ku4my/jitcrunch.jpg

[kb2vxa]

You don't need Haggis Helper if you buy one at Asda. Oh, I forgot, you don't have Asda in the US. OK, here's to sausage, scrapple and the good old American hot dog. Don't forget FDA approved processed foods, have you had your 4% rodent droppings and insect parts today?