View Full Version : How To Punish Chicken Banders.
Back in the Good Old Days, the FCC Garbage Truck would sweep through town now and then and smack around the illegal CB'ers. There'd be citations, small fines to pay, maybe even a license revocation (when there WERE CB licenses). There hasn't been nearly ENOUGH of that Good Christian Fun in recent times, so maybe it's time for the FCC -- or some contractor hired by the FCC -- to dole out some good old fashioned Radio Justice among the great unwashed on 11 meters.
But the old means of punishment seem out of date in these times. Please select what new and improved punishments YOU would like to see be given to Chicken Banders to help them mend their unholy ways.
A C Ber must always point to his or her C.B. and call it a ham radio, and call themselves ham operators when they know otherwise but belive the person listening will be impressed for he or she belives him or her to be dumber them themselves.
They must always do this. Yhey can smarten up when they are about 50 or 60 and finally learn that all around them belive them to be ignorant jerks and finally realize that to be true. This is the extent of wisdom thru aginy that they are to be allowed.
A C Ber must always point to his or her C.B. and call it a ham radio, and call themselves ham operators when they know otherwise but belive the person listening will be impressed for he or she belives him or her to be dumber them themselves.
They must always do this. Yhey can smarten up when they are about 50 or 60 and finally learn that all around them belive them to be ignorant jerks and finally realize that to be true. This is the extent of wisdom thru aginy that they are to be allowed.
So, reading between the lines, you're saying "string them up by their nutsack." Okay, one vote for stringing them up by the nutsack.
M0GLO
09-25-2007, 06:09 PM
How about this:
Strap them down with toothpicked eyes ala Clockwork Orange and make them watch Convoy and all of the Smokey and the Bandit movies on a great big loop while flashing selected John Waters film clips in and out of the scene.
Maybe have some chicken band radios, say about 50 of em, running just loud enough to hear in the background.
While this is going on feed them enough Syrup of Ipecac to make them feel nauseous, but not enough to actually sick up.
Do this until they become unresponsive then put them under, drive them to the nearest truck stop and leave them in a booth.
With a Realistic mic in their hand.
Naked as a jaybird.
:twisted:
KU4MY
09-25-2007, 06:27 PM
Naked as a jaybird.
He said he flew up there. I had to fly up and get him down, he was about half crazy!
M0GLO
09-25-2007, 07:15 PM
HeyTom! Welcome back from the wilderness!
I think I got a sack of seed around here somewhere... :lol:
n4aud
09-25-2007, 08:02 PM
We just smiled and waved...settin' there on that sack of seeds.
KU4MY
09-25-2007, 09:02 PM
HAH! It's good to be home. If this was 1975, I would have to say, lets roll up a fatty. Oh and I don't mean stuff Rosie O'Donnell in a sleeping bag. 8)
How about this:
Strap them down with toothpicked eyes ala Clockwork Orange and make them watch Convoy and all of the Smokey and the Bandit movies on a great big loop while flashing selected John Waters film clips in and out of the scene.
Maybe have some chicken band radios, say about 50 of em, running just loud enough to hear in the background.
While this is going on feed them enough Syrup of Ipecac to make them feel nauseous, but not enough to actually sick up.
Do this until they become unresponsive then put them under, drive them to the nearest truck stop and leave them in a booth.
With a Realistic mic in their hand.
Naked as a jaybird.
:twisted:
You know what WE call that?
"Friday night."
kd6nig
09-26-2007, 07:29 PM
Just market "Dummy Load" as "Wilson 10,000 CB Antenna!"
Problem solved :) And that needle will always get maximum SWANG!
KA5PIU
06-12-2008, 09:20 PM
Hello.
A lot of Chicken Banders,,,,are hams!
I would like to see a noticeable distance between Amateur Radio and other services.
What I see is a lot of out of banded ham rigs, more than I would care to know about.
kk7ue
06-16-2008, 11:31 PM
If this was 1975, I would have to say, lets roll up a fatty.
Why on earth does it have to be 1975 fer christ sakes? :mrgreen:
It doesn't for some of us, however some of us have decided to abstain over the years. :shhh
KC8TCQ
06-17-2008, 05:29 PM
It doesn't for some of us, however some of us have decided to abstain over the years. :shhh
the ummm party favors I used to enjoy are really hard to find these days, at least from what I hear around these parts :D
kb2vxa
06-18-2008, 07:34 PM
Ah, that good old chicken butt is back! Unfortunately "frontal lobotomy" wasn't one of the choices, that would raise the IQ just enough to get a ham license in Canada (if you know what I mean).
You forgot a poll option:
(0) Forced cohabitation with Jethro
Although I'm sure that would be a violation of the Geneva Convention... :shock:
You forgot a poll option:
(0) Forced cohabitation with Jethro
Although I'm sure that would be a violation of the Geneva Convention... :shock:
God and he's married. What's she gonna do? Drive the other SUV into a ditch?
:whistle
N5RLR
07-08-2008, 06:07 AM
...If this was 1975, I would have to say, lets roll up a fatty. Oh and I don't mean stuff Rosie O'Donnell in a sleeping bag. 8)
Gawd, don't insult the noble sleeping bag, like that. :-?
W2IBC
07-08-2008, 11:34 AM
best way to punish the chicken banders
give the 11meter back to ham radio and due away with cb
best way to punish the chicken banders
give the 11meter back to ham radio and due away with cb
and give the chickenbanders 10mW on 5 GHz..... not a chance in hell of skip up there... :wall
kk7ue
07-09-2008, 09:48 AM
best way to punish the chicken banders
give the 11meter back to ham radio and due away with cb
and give the chickenbanders 10mW on 5 GHz..... not a chance in hell of skip up there... :wall
Sure would gum up the good-buddies' smokey reports, huh? :P
If da drivers cant run compliant, let em go home :evil:
n4aud
07-09-2008, 04:45 PM
Take away the CB frequencies and give them to us, then make the CB'ers use the VHF MURS channels, thereby pissing off Walmart as well. I've had Walmart tell me to "get off our channel" while using MURS...
Well....
We can send Jethro and Frozen Steve to SqualorMart as greeters..... :evil:
KG4CGC
07-10-2008, 01:06 AM
I say give'm the "Dutch Oven."
w8nsi
07-30-2008, 08:02 PM
HAH! It's good to be home. If this was 1975, I would have to say, lets roll up a fatty. Oh and I don't mean stuff Rosie O'Donnell in a sleeping bag. 8)
Something like a bomber rolled with the paper in the Cheech and Chong "Big Bambu" album? :mrgreen:
kb2vxa
07-31-2008, 08:21 PM
That's a really big tain fer good buddy!
KC8TCQ
07-31-2008, 09:08 PM
HAH! It's good to be home. If this was 1975, I would have to say, lets roll up a fatty. Oh and I don't mean stuff Rosie O'Donnell in a sleeping bag. 8)
Something like a bomber rolled with the paper in the Cheech and Chong "Big Bambu" album? :mrgreen:
hehehe I have 3 of those albums that have never been opened
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